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PSA: Why Members Get Banned


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#1 starchild

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    Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:27 AM

    On behalf of the administration here at BDW I would like to to explain what it means when a member is banned from the forum.

    This is a free forum for brides and grooms planning a destination wedding. Membership is contingent upon adherence to the forum rules. As you can imagine, a forum without rules would be chaotic so the rules are in place to protect everyone. Vendors are totally welcome to join the forum provided that they adhere to our vendor rules, which are explicitly stated.

    Banning is done at the discretion of the administrator and moderators of this forum and is based upon violations of forum rules. No member is banned arbitrarily or frivolously, no matter what you may gather from the threads you read and no matter what the banned member may tell you after the fact.

    We do not disclose private messages between ourselves and members that lead up to the bannings, so from the outside looking in it may be difficult to understand why a member got banned. We ask that you trust our judgement and not question the decisions made to keep this forum running smoothly. If a member has been banned there have been issues at play that you are most likely not aware of so please respect the decison making.

    There is little to no tolerance for poor attitudes or snide remarks directed at BDW administration. Again, this is a free forum and as such, members are free to leave on their own at any time if they do not agree with forum policies and procedures.

    There are no surprises here. Tammy (the host, administrator, and founder of BDW) runs the forum at no cost to you.

    ~~ If you do not understand the rules and/or choose not to follow them you may be banned.

    ~~ If you choose to badger the administration about the rules and what you think they should be, you may be banned.

    ~~You may not get a warning before being banned. Or your temporary ban may be your warning before a complete ban.

    We stand to gain nothing by banning members for no good reason. This is a forum where a diverse body of brides, grooms, and vendors is appreciated. We share with and learn from eachother. We appreciate our members and their cooperation with the policies here at BDW.

    All moderators have the following thread in their signature. This may answer other questions members have:
    http://bestdestinati....k-forum-32313/

    #2 Kat81

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      Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:31 AM

      Well said. Thanks again to all the Mods for keeping this forum so well ran. I wouldn't have been able to plan my wedding if it hadn't been for this forum so whatever you all have to do to keep the peace is much appreaciated!

      #3 Alyssa

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        Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:34 AM

        thanks for posting Jamy - hopefully this clears up some HUGE misconceptions that seem to be floating around out there.

        I would also like to add that we NEVER take it lightly to ban a Vendor b/c we want Vendors on here to provide useful and valuable information and help our brides.

        When you hear 'gossip' and one side of situation - take it with a grain of salt and realize that Vendors are on here to get business before being helpful so they will do anything to preserve their reputation even when they have violated the rules.

        #4 ErikDaGenErik

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          Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:36 AM

          thanks for the explanation! i didnt mean to offend anyone by asking what happened when a photographer got banned. i was just wondering. i'm a rule follower so i trust your judgement.

          #5 TammyWright

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          Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:39 AM

          I also wanted to add that any attitude or snarky behavior to the mods or admins will not be tolerated.

          this is a free forum. we volunteer our time to make the forum run smoothly and i am sure the way it is moderated is why this forum is so great. the LAST thing we need are pm's, posts from members being snarky. Especially about things they do not fully understand.

          when vendors get banned, we actually do keep a thread tracking warning, incidents, etc. We have discussed the ban amongst the moderators/admins but the ban is not up for discussion with members.

          You do not need to agree or understand the rules, you just need to follow them. If you do not like the rules or how the forum is run, you do not need to stay here. There are plenty of other wedding forums you can go to.

          I also wanted to add that sometimes the bans are temporary, sometimes they are permanent. sometimes we will reconsider unbanning a member.

          What NOT to do when you get a warning or get banned:

          1. When you get a warning DO NOT reply saying that the rule is ridiculous, act indignant about the warning, or give attitude about the warning etc. This will lead to a ban.

          2. If you are banned DO NOT re-join just to post about how ridiculous it is that you were banned. This will just get your IP's banned.

          3. If you are banned DO NOT stalk me or the mods asking for an explanation on why you were banned. An explanation is given on the screen that tells why you are banned. We do not need to elaborate or give you an explanation that you deem satisfactory.

          4. If you are banned and want to get re-instated, DO NOT send a half-ass apology. getting 4 long emails from you saying you are sorry but the forum rules are stupid, then asking to be re-instated, is not going to fly. It is just going to re-inforce our decision to ban you as the right one.

          I know these all sound like very obvious Do's and Don'ts but you would be suprised.


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          #6 Sarah

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            Posted 26 November 2008 - 03:27 AM

            Thanks for this PSA Jamy. Well said.

            I also would like to reiterate, once again, that Tammy runs this forum out of her own money, at her great expense. It literally costs her thousands to keep this forum running. We do have some ads now that bring in a small amount of revenue and help contribute to the expense, but this is not a "for-profit" forum. Keep that in mind if you disagree with something... things are actually done in a "fair" way, although most of it is dealt with behind-the-scenes so it might not always be completely understood on the outside.

            And this is just my $0.02, but personally I don't think Tammy even has to be FAIR. It's her forum! The fact that she is fair just shows that she's truly looking out for the best interest of the brides and contributing members. Great discussion goes into every ban and every warning. We don't like banning people. We'd prefer people just follow the rules and we can go on planning our weddings and enjoying eachother's company in peace. But, to keep this place the great forum it is, we have to weed out the problems every once in a while.

            Thanks to all our great members and vendors. You're the reason BDW is such a great place for inspiration, planning, and friendship :)

            #7 Nic Dragomire

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              Posted 26 November 2008 - 04:21 AM

              I think we should ban some one.... we can't have a thread about banning without actually banning some one can we? and no im not volunteering :)

              in al seriousness, this is a cool place because of the rules, the mods, the brides, and the vendors all have access to help each other. Without each doing their part this place wouldn't be the same. some times the mods have to make decisions to keep this place running smooth and we have to trust them.

              I think we should have "mod day" you know, a day to honor or celebrate the mods and all of their hard work. We could send them flowers and chocolates, chip in for a massage?

              ~ nic

              #8 ACDCDCAC

              ACDCDCAC
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              Posted 26 November 2008 - 09:39 AM

              thanks jamy, well put. i've got nothing more to add :)



              um ok, except i agree with nic. flowers and a massage sounds heavenly

              #9 boscobel

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                Posted 26 November 2008 - 11:42 AM

                Oh yeah and chocolate too, yummmy.

                Well said, Jamy, and everyone else. I think the fact that so many members continue to remain here well after their wedding is a true testament to the greatness of this forum. Nuff said.

                #10 Alyssa

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                  Posted 26 November 2008 - 11:46 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Sarah
                  And this is just my $0.02, but personally I don't think Tammy even has to be FAIR. It's her forum! The fact that she is fair just shows that she's truly looking out for the best interest of the brides and contributing members. Great discussion goes into every ban and every warning. We don't like banning people. We'd prefer people just follow the rules and we can go on planning our weddings and enjoying eachother's company in peace. But, to keep this place the great forum it is, we have to weed out the problems every once in a while.
                  well said sarah!

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Nic Dragomire
                  I think we should have "mod day" you know, a day to honor or celebrate the mods and all of their hard work. We could send them flowers and chocolates, chip in for a massage?
                  ~ nic
                  now we are talking LOL! i like the way you think




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