Reception Back Home after DW
Posted 10 November 2008 - 05:58 PM
My mom, on the other hand, wants us to have a reception back home that IS more traditional, with the sit-down dinner, DJ, etc. First of all, there hasn't been any talk regarding who will pay for the at-home reception, and if it is mine and my fiance's bill, then I definitely don't want to spend all that money. Even if my parents want to pay for it, again, I don't want another formal reception. Plus, my dad doesn't see the need to even have anything back home, although he's a guy, and sometimes they don't understand all the details = )
To complicate things further, my mom has had a hard time accepting the fact that we are getting married outside of the church in another country, she is very traditional. So part of me just wants to give her SOMETHING to be happy about. The other part of me wonders, "Why even go to Mexico to get married if we'll have to go through a big reception back home, anyways"
Posted 10 November 2008 - 06:07 PM
Posted 10 November 2008 - 06:32 PM
Posted 10 November 2008 - 06:55 PM
I ended up realizing that we were going to Jamaica because that's what we wanted and that's how we would most enjoy our wedding. We worked out the AHR by planning a low key reception with only some finger foods beginning at 8:30 in the evening with a slide show of the trip to Jamaica and then a cocktail reception. Then Mom and Dad decided that they would pay for the food and suggested that we may want to consider a buffet dinner that would still be informal but would make them feel better about making guests travel to us. (Mom said she didn't want to push it on us ...it was just a suggestion) FI and I didn't mind either way especially since it wasn't costing us a cent...and the invitations weren't printed yet so we just changed the time and wording to include a buffet dinner and so far that's how it's working out.
I know everyone is different and things probably won't work out exactly the same but maybe if you told your mom that you just wanted a small low key reception and that it didn't seem to be worth it to you to spend the extra $$, maybe she'll either understand where you're coming from and leave it at that...or offer to help with the cost..
good luck with your decision and remember it's not their wedding, it's yours and your FI's.
Posted 10 November 2008 - 08:22 PM
our AHR is going to be only hor d'uerves (i can never spell that word right), drinks, ipod but we picked a really different venue which is the aerospace museum where they have historic planes and in the middle of the floor there's enough space for us to have our reception. we're doing a slideshow, sand ceremony, couple flipino traditions to keep with my culture and speeches. no wedding cake, no dances (those will be done in mexico anyways). totally understand on the not wanting a formal reception cuz that's the last thing i want.
i agree with the other girls, talk to your mom and tell her what you'd like to do. sure she might be initally disappointed but i think in the end she'd care more about your happiness. if you do it her way it'll just cause you more stress, possibly more money, and you don't want to end up with resentful feelings over this cuz you feel pressured into a formal affair. its your wedding, once in a lifetime event, don't do it any way that you'll regret
Posted 10 November 2008 - 11:56 PM
we really wanted something informal and fun, but don't want guests to have to travel a long way without giving them food. So, we decided on a picnic/ garden party reception. We're renting a group campsite with a huge picnic shelter at a local park, and hosting a big BBQ with live music and games like bocce ball. We want friends and family to feel welcome to bring their kids and pets. And, they can enjoy the facilities in the park all day too - hiking, swimming, bird watching, etc.
I agree with everyone here that you should talk to your mom and see if you can compromise, or even just share your feelings.
Good luck with everything!
Posted 11 November 2008 - 11:47 AM
Posted 12 November 2008 - 05:49 PM
Posted 12 November 2008 - 05:55 PM
Posted 16 November 2008 - 11:29 PM
I hope everything works out!
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