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I should be giving gifts to the not-invited?!

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#1 bakerisacat

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    Posted 06 November 2008 - 04:49 AM

    My Mom and FMIL have come up with this "amazing" idea that we should be giving a small gift to everyone close to us that was not invited to the wedding...

    First off, NO ONE including Mother or FMIL are invited to the wedding!!! From day one this was going to be a known 'elopement' and honeymoon in one. Both sides are up for it, and excited for us and the planning they get to do for the AHR. Lately though, both have these fun ideas of what I "should" do, knowing me, they should know that will never work lol... the veil conversation was interesting alone.

    Second, WTF?! I laughed and laughed when my Mom told me this, and laughed when I told FI! But, he thinks it's a good idea...

    I'm not sure what to think now... The plan was to send announcements with a picture after, but this just seems a bit much! What do you think?

    (Oh and the gifts are personalized votive candles)

    Thank you for any input!

    #2 Mrs D To Be!

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      Posted 06 November 2008 - 05:11 AM

      me personally, i wouldn't send gifts...but i think looking into doing something with a photo or photos would be a nice touch.....even if it is just a diy card with a lovely photo of yous both? I'd look into some cheap photobooks getting made up too?

      good luck!

      #3 shellb

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        Posted 06 November 2008 - 07:50 AM

        Why can't the "gift" be the favors you give out at the AHR, something very small like a 2x3 framed photo, photo in the announcement card, a little box with chocolates in side, etc. I'd keep it very small.

        I think it will be expensive if you start sending out gifts to folks because they aren't invited to the actual ceremony.

        #4 Hartyt509

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          Posted 06 November 2008 - 11:29 AM

          Tell them to bog off lol Since when did you give presents to people you didn't invite to stuff!! lmao

          No I wouldn't be doing it lol Just tell FI its going to be really expensive and that'll change his mind lol

          #5 BachataBride

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            Posted 06 November 2008 - 11:45 AM

            I think a favor at the AHR would be more than sufficient!!!
            I would either send out a pic announcement after you get back...or do a picture frame for the AHR. Nothing more!

            #6 ErinB


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              Posted 06 November 2008 - 11:46 AM

              I don't understand why you would give a gift? And how are you supposed to hand them out? Will you have an additional party or do you have to mail them all out?

              I personally would find it strange to find a candle in the mail, especially if I were not invited to the wedding.

              I think you should hold on to the favors and give them out at your AHR.

              I would send announcements/invites out with a photo if you want. You can also do photo thank you cards.

              #7 Sloan

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                Posted 06 November 2008 - 11:51 AM

                Screw that! Why the hell do people think that we need to placate those that aren't invited?? If I gave a gift to everyone that's not showing up at my wedding, I wouldn't be able to afford the wedding!

                #8 ~Kate~

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                  Posted 06 November 2008 - 11:57 AM

                  I agree with what others have posted. Since you're having an AHR. you can give out the votive candles then, if you want to.

                  And like Erin said....it might seem weird to get a candle in the mail.

                  #9 DallasAshli

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                    Posted 06 November 2008 - 12:18 PM

                    Sounds like they want to be included and they think a gift will achieve that. I agree with the other posts.

                    #10 1elephant

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                      Posted 06 November 2008 - 01:04 PM

                      agreed. a favor at an AHR is enough. if you want to send a picture announcement, that would be nice, but anything other than that is not necessary.
                      do you think that your mom and FMIL want to impress their friends? i know that if my MIL suggested that, the sole purpose would be to impress her yenta friends.

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