Posted 05 November 2008 - 05:49 PM
You have every right to feel the way that you do!! I completely understand.. My mother didn't come to my first wedding after I bought her dress, plane ticket and hotel room.... it was absolutely heartbreaking even though we weren't that close at the time (and don't even speak now).
It's always so hard when parents don't act like parents should... so, you have to put yourself first and do what makes you feel better. If you feel better ignoring him and letting him 'stew' - then do it. If you feel better calling him and telling him exactly how hurt you are - then do it.
Just remember, this is his loss; not yours. He is not participating in one of the most important day's of his only child's life and he will come to regret it (that I can assure you of).
You, on the other hand, should not have any regrets. You invited him and asked his input while planning even though the two of you are not that close. You will be marrying the man of your dreams surrounded by people that love you and if he is being too selfish to make it; then that is his problem!
Your wedding day will be perfect with our without him. I know it's easier said that done.. but hang in there!!!
Posted 05 November 2008 - 06:05 PM
Posted 05 November 2008 - 06:24 PM
| Originally Posted by lizzie287 |
I guess what I'm looking for is validation for my feelings. We aren't really close, but it's not like either of us has "disowned" the other or anything like that.
I am so sorry you are going through this - it sucks! I can't believe he emailed you!!!! He probably felt too shitty picking up the phone & telling you in person - that's what happens to most people when they know they are wrong! I am thinking that the Step-M had a lot to do with the turn of events. But what is with taking a cruise in October (hirricane season)!! Pretty sure I would rather be on land than a boat if there was a hurricane!! Some people are just impossible.
I say tell him what a jerk he is being & hopefully he will wise up - if not, then he's not worth the stress this is causing you!!
(Sorry if this is a repeat of what anyone else has said, but I didn't get a chance to read everyones post)
Posted 12 November 2008 - 10:58 AM
There is no reason you need to respond to him...I am so sorry that you have to go through this...its tough...I try to remind myself that as long as my FI is there then that is all that matters.
Posted 13 November 2008 - 02:23 PM
Posted 13 November 2008 - 03:09 PM
I think you're doing the right thing.
Even though I have a relatively good relationship with my mom, she's kind of selfish too. She is already making me feel guilty about a DW. I actually started a thread about it.
I say don't even talk to him about it. He obviously knows or expects you to be upset. If you did have a big long discussion/negotiation/fight about it and he did come around and decide to go, he'll probably make you feel guilty about it during the trip and for the rest of your life. Making you feel guilty about paying for college is a good indication that making people feel guilty is what he does. Trust me, I know how it is.
Just go and have a good time with the people that really care and love you the most.
Posted 13 November 2008 - 03:30 PM
My FFIL just passed away a month and a half ago and I know he would've given anything to see his son get married in St. Lucia. Life is so short and people can't even make time for their familes. That's so ridiculous! It hurts FI and me everyday that he won't be there to celebrate with us.
If your dad doesn't want to be there, then screw him. Focus on those who are actually going to return your love for them.
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