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Future MIL Problems

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#1 Tiffiney01

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    Posted 28 October 2008 - 07:26 PM

    Okay here's the problem...my FI and I decided together to have our DW in PV we love mexico.... Now his mother is trying to make him feel guilty for having it in mexcio instead of jamaica ( being that that's where they are from) she is even going as far as saying she will not attend if it's not and get this we are inconviencing her. Now I know this is hurting him because they are very very close but he's saying that he's not changing his mind for anybody it's our day.
    On one hand I know if we go along with this and she doesnt attend he will be crushed and I wont have 100% of him on our wedding day.
    On the other hand if we switch it to jamaica I know i wouldnt be happy because this is not what we wanted and we are catering to her needs. Am I being selfish? Should I just say lets do it in jamaica so he can have his mom there? Should I just say it and stick to the plan? HELP!
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    #2 RedDiamond

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      Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:02 PM

      I'm going with stick to the plan. She's being selfish by putting her "wants" before you and him.

      #3 cheese_diva

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        Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:10 PM

        Stay strong as to what you want as a couple and be glad your man doesn't give into his mom's demands.. it only gets worse if he lets her continue to manipulate him. His mom will be there to see her son get married and if she isn't then there's bigger reasons than location.

        Try not to get in between the two of them. He should be able to handle her.. after all, he's had to do it his entire life and I'm sure this isn't coming as a big surprise.
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        #4 montegobay09

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          Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:12 PM

          I say stick with your plan as long as he's ok with it. Maybe having a real heart to heart with him and telling him exactly how you feel (or even letting him read your post since it sounds pretty honest) just to make sure you're both on the same page. I say let him make the decision and keep it between them. You can support him and I'm sure he wants to know what you think (not saying he doesn't already know).
          I agree with RedDiamond...she is the one being selfish this should be about what you and him want!

          #5 MarieSam

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            Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:18 PM

            Stick to your guns, this is YOUR wedding celebration! Mom's is truly being selfish and losing sight of the fact that this is her son's special day not hers. I would call her bluff, depending on their relationship with each other, I don't see her missing her son's wedding solely because the wedding locale doesn't suit her preference.

            At the end of the day, it is about the two of you and the love you share. This is one day you are both allowed and expected to be selfish, so make your vision of the perfect wedding become your reality. Bottom line, do what makes you happy ~

            #6 syl1115

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              Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:19 PM

              I agree. If he is ok with sticking to the plan and having your wedding in Mexico, then do it. He knows his own mother and I bet he is not worried about her not attending. Since they are close, I'm sure she does not want to miss her son's wedding. It is YOUR destination, not hers.

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              #7 BachataBride

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                Posted 28 October 2008 - 08:42 PM

                I say if your wonderful FI is saying stick with the plan then great! If you sense real hesitation from him on this, then you should discuss it between the two of you. If he feels he really wants his mother there & wants to switch to Jamaica, then that's what you should probably do (as terrible it is of his mom to ask/demand that of him).

                #8 Tiffiney01

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                  Posted 29 October 2008 - 10:32 AM

                  okay ladies we spoke about it last night I let him know that I stand behind whatever he decides to do and he made it clear that He is 100% sure that he doesnt want to switch destinations. He feels that if we decided to get married on the moon that's our choice and she should be there. His biggest concern is that I be there lol .....once that was settled she called me last night and left a message on my cell saying. We didnt consider her feelings, We never asked HER how did SHE feel about mexico ( that's hilarious to me ), we must be ashamed of her .She is laying it on thick... lol lol
                  She never behaved like this before we have gotten along for the whole 8 years I've been with her son...She has never gotten in our business ( which is rare for a MIL) lol I think she is nervous about losing her son...but shit she lives downstairs lol lol lol
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                  #9 BachataBride

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                    Posted 29 October 2008 - 10:37 AM

                    I think that's ridiculous & she should be the one ashamed!! She's acting like a spoiled two year old!
                    I'm so glad that you & FI talked this over & you are both on the same page!!

                    #10 DanielleNDerek

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                      Posted 29 October 2008 - 10:41 AM

                      awww what a sweet fi you have... his main concern is that you be there... that's the sweetest thing i've ever heard.

                      Wow what a guilt trip she's trying to pull. How dare you plan a wedding the way you guys want it and not take her needs into consideration! Give me a break, i hope she grows up shes really immature. I hope she wakes up and realizes that this is what her son and his future wife wants so she should be there for you guys
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