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#31 Lillie09

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    Posted 29 December 2008 - 10:44 AM

    Update on my situation. About a month ago I found out from a mutual friend that my friend isn't going to my wedding because she is going to her boyfriends brothers DW and can't do both. She met this boyfriend 5 months ago!!!! Has known me for 4 years and I have been a great friend to her..always her shoulder to cry on etc... So basically she chose him over me and it wasn't a financial situation. So she's a liar on top of everything else.
    So does my sister invite her to my shower? Do I send a wedding invitation to her??

    #32 BachataBride

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      Posted 29 December 2008 - 10:54 AM

      That's a tough one! Do you want to end your friendship?? It would be totally understandable if you did. Have you spoken to her about this yet?? Does she know how you feel about it?? Be honest with her...and hopefully she will be honest with you too. After that discussion takes place then maybe you could decide whether or not to invite her to the pre-wedding festivities. I think if you still want to be friends with her you should invite her...if you don't, then don't invite her.

      #33 sunsetbride1

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        Posted 03 January 2009 - 04:16 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by BachataBride
        That's a tough one! Do you want to end your friendship?? It would be totally understandable if you did. Have you spoken to her about this yet?? Does she know how you feel about it?? Be honest with her...and hopefully she will be honest with you too. After that discussion takes place then maybe you could decide whether or not to invite her to the pre-wedding festivities. I think if you still want to be friends with her you should invite her...if you don't, then don't invite her.
        I agree with Amanda.. the situation is a tough one and you have every right to feel hurt. I would talk to her about it and see what she sais...
        We all know how it is when you are in a new relationship and you get caught up in the new romance of it all. But, that is no excuse... maybe her boyfriend is paying for the trip bc it is his friend?

        If you are still hurt after talking to her and feel that she is not being there for you and is not truthful with you; then she is not a good friend and you probably don't want her as your friend. If that happens, then why would you invite someone that is not your friend to your wedding festivities?

        #34 Hartyt509

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          Posted 03 January 2009 - 05:20 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Lillie09
          So does my sister invite her to my shower? Do I send a wedding invitation to her??
          I'm having a bad day so this may be harsh but .. NO dont!!

          If she is putting a bloke that she hardly knows over you she doesn't value the friendship as much as you do.

          I sat NYE and thought right all my so called friends who only call me when they want something or someone to sort out a legal mess can "GO POKE OFF!!"

          So far i've said it to 3 of them lmao

          #35 Duchess

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            Posted 03 January 2009 - 07:54 PM

            I know I am putting in my 2 cents late, but this happened to me too, with people saying they were in for sure and then just not being in, and most people didnt send back RSVPs even!

            Here is what I noticed, since my DW was just a few days ago...
            1- People who say they are in might not be, and the awkward part is the people who book because they think others are booking end up in Mexico without the group they thought would be there. Sounds okay, but I ended up with a couple of guy friends who were kind of on their own.

            2- The people who come dont always give gifts. We are SHOCKED at how a few of the people who came didnt give a gift. We even checked with the wedding planner. I think people think that their presence is our gift. And it is...but you know what, like any wedding, we could sure use the gift to help offset some of the wedding costs, including over the top OOT bags etc.

            3- I invited a lot of people that I didnt expect a gift from, because they were the people I would invite if it were a local affair. Like collegues. But beyond that, we are pretty shocked at the amount of people who did not send gifts. And even those collegues, had it been a local affair, would have come and possibly bought clothes, paid for sitters, and given a gift.

            I know I sound so selfish and I swear I am not. Its just something that I didnt expect. And it does kind of hurt, when I had been to some of these peoples weddings, even stood up in some, and then on my special day, nothing in return except a congrats on facebook.

            I guess I just want to warn other DW brides out there. Some people might dissappoint. Or maybe my friends and family just suck. ;-)

            #36 neen

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              Posted 04 January 2009 - 08:49 PM

              i started this thread a few months ago and just wanted to say, being two weeks away from my wedding now, i'm SO over this! i'm just SO excited for my wedding and to spend time with the folks that are going to with us (50+) and honestly, the hurt over those who won't be there has totally faded. so anyone who is reading through and thinking the same way I was, just know it'll get better!!

              #37 SoonToBeE

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                Posted 11 January 2009 - 07:07 PM

                I'm sure you've already heard this a million times buy that sucks.

                I reevaluated my friends a little based on how they responded. Even if you can't make it to a local wedding you tell the person why. I'm sure they feel bad and don't know how to tell you without feeling awkward, but a call telling you why isn't asking too much.

                At least they sent you a wedding cheque! I have been to all of my friend's weddings and have spent at least $250 on wedding gifts for each of them....and went to their showers which is more money....and they have done nothing. They didn't even RSVP! I had to call and ask if they were coming when we were down to the final week of the RSVP deadline.....And our RSVP was online. I see you on facebook all the time, at least go to the site and click on no! : P

                Anyways, it sucks that you are going through this. It's sad when people let you down, but you're not alone. You have a nice supportive community here!

                #38 SoonToBeE

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                  Posted 11 January 2009 - 07:16 PM

                  haha - just read your last posting.....tee hee!

                  #39 cougs

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                    Posted 12 January 2009 - 03:59 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by neen
                    i started this thread a few months ago and just wanted to say, being two weeks away from my wedding now, i'm SO over this! i'm just SO excited for my wedding and to spend time with the folks that are going to with us (50+) and honestly, the hurt over those who won't be there has totally faded. so anyone who is reading through and thinking the same way I was, just know it'll get better!!
                    i hear ya, i'm totally over it too. it DOES get better. in fact, i can't believe i ever shed tears over it! it's not about how many people don't come, it's about how much you love (and are loved by) the people who do!

                    you are very lucky to have over 50 guests making it! your wedding is going to be amazing. and IT'S SO CLOSE! omg ... you must be SO excited!

                    #40 WAJA2009

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                      Posted 12 January 2009 - 02:28 PM

                      I too am going through this. I feel like neen did, only I may only have about 20 guests at my wedding. There is still time to see as the wedding deposits must be paid in full by March 1 and the wedding is in june, but so far all three of my best friends (so-called) said they won't be able to make it and there are many who claim they are coming, but are waiting until the very last second to pay their deposits. I just don't have any faith that they will be able to pull together$1000+ in less than 6 weeks.

                      I'm disappointed, but I know I'll get over it and the important people will be there for sure.




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