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Just admit I'm not important enough...


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#11 tylersgirl

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    Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:10 PM

    Hi Neen! It's happening to me too. They knew way in advance and said yes and now they are backing out with the same excuses. We will have fun without them!

    #12 neen

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      Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:22 PM

      you know, i think its just hard getting so many "will not attend" RSVPs day after day, esp from close friends...we invited close to 200 people though and knew only about 20% would come, so i should have prepared myself better i guess!

      #13 jajajaja

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        Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:31 PM

        Ok while it sucks and yes we all have been there (and my glass always tries to be half full), your wedding week will still be the most fabulous time WITHOUT THEM. I went through all the same disappointments and felt like a turd that no one cared about. I still have a fabulous wedding week with the people that did priortize and did care enough to be there. You will have the same experience- I know it.

        Forget your friends. It just makes it easier to know where you stand and you will have your moment to show them how it feels. I make less effort to show up to my friend's parties now just to be a good friend. They released me from that bondage. ha! :)
        Happily married since 2008

        #14 BachataBride

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          Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:43 PM

          Oh hun..I know...that sucks! But like has been said here already - you WILL have the best time EVER!! With or without them!!
          FI is going through the same thing - I have a few of my friends going, but he doesn't have anyone besides family & his BM. I feel crappy for him. He's had a friend book & then cancel, people saying all along that they are going, but still haven't booked & the plane is almost full. We also have probably our closest local friends going on a honeymoon, but not to our wedding?? I know everyone has things going on...but its MY wedding!!! And it is only happening once!! You can save for your other trip that you would prefer to go on and go later. This is MY wedding & you were special enough to me to be invited so I should be special enough to you to come! Especially if you can afford it!! (Or if it wouldn't put you too far out!) Grrrrrr....
          But like FI says...the people that really matter will be there...our parents, his sis & hubby & our MOH & BM (BFs)...but it still pisses me off!!!
          Sorry...that's my rant for the day!!

          #15 SunBride

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            Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:46 PM

            Wow, that sucks. My best friend of 20 years (since the first day of kindergarden!) didn't come, and your title is how I felt too. I've been living in a different city now for 7 years so we've grown apart, but we still talk on a regular basis and hang out a lot every time I go home to visit (2-4 times a year), but obviously our friendship is not the same, although I still consider her my best friend. So it wasn't a complete shock, but she said she was too busy with university (the funny thing is we are always laughing at how lenient her small university is, how they treat students like high school students, they are always extending deadlines for like no reason. So she definitely could have gotten things re-arranged to get a week off). I know there are various reasons for people not coming, but I too felt like this was a case of "you're just not important enough to me for me to make the require effort (time and money) to make it work". If we were still as close as we were 7 years ago because I moved, there is no question she would have been there no matter what the cost and no matter what the circumstances.

            It hurt when, a couple days before my AHR, while watching my wedding video, she started to cry and said "I can't believe I missed your wedding". I didn't really say much in response, but I felt like it was the first time that it really really sunk in what a big deal it was that she missed it. I mean, she always thought it was a big deal, but thought she had a good reason, and it was like all of a sudden she realized she should have made an bigger effort to do whatever possible to make it. I guess it was easier when she was far away and detached from the situation.

            #16 RedDiamond

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              Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:52 PM

              I'm sorry you're having problems! I'd be bummed too. None of my friends are coming, but we haven't sent our invitations yet and I already know that. I know how disappointed you must be though. They raised their own bar.

              #17 BachataBride

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                Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:54 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by SunBride
                It hurt when, a couple days before my AHR, while watching my wedding video, she started to cry and said "I can't believe I missed your wedding". I didn't really say much in response, but I felt like it was the first time that it really really sunk in what a big deal it was that she missed it. I mean, she always thought it was a big deal, but thought she had a good reason, and it was like all of a sudden she realized she should have made an bigger effort to do whatever possible to make it.
                That is so sad...but is it wrong of me to think "looks good on you!!" I think it's what she deserves! Yes...it's definitely shitty that she realized this after the fact, but before making a huge desicion like missing your best friends wedding you should think about all the consequences.

                #18 cougs

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                  Posted 28 October 2008 - 01:07 PM

                  yup. yes. exactly.

                  unfortunately, we can't change the way people prioritize their life. my matron of honor (who is FAMILY, btw), after a year of "i'll definitely be there no matter what" called to say she won't be able to make it, because they are remodeling the house and won't be able to afford both. the changes they are making are all cosmetic, not like a new heater or roof. so when i read your comment about new couches, it definitely brought back the sting.

                  i can't believe you had someone say they are going on two vacations! i think that's probably one of the most insulting excuses yet.

                  bottom line is they'll all really be the ones missing out. the best revenge is to have the most fantastic wedding and trip ever ... without them!

                  #19 BachataBride

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                    Posted 28 October 2008 - 01:26 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by mummergirl
                    bottom line is they'll all really be the ones missing out. the best revenge is to have the most fantastic wedding and trip ever ... without them!
                    ...and show them lots of fantastic, beautiful, fun pictures & don't stop talking about what a great time you had!! Really rub it in their faces!!! :)

                    #20 NJ_bride

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                      Posted 28 October 2008 - 01:38 PM

                      Rachel- that part about being released from bondage, LMAO! FH runs around saying how he is free from family obligation forever now! It is true, now OUR priorities change.
                      Sunbride- that part about your friend watching the video and crying I really hope some of my friends/family members feel that way. I know I have missed a few weddings/events when i was younger and I always feel like I missed out. I keep pointing out that when it is all over I know FH and I will feel much closer to the 45 people that made it a priority than anyone else who didn't.
                      I mean come on there is a reason I'm spending all this extra money for a great photographer, there is no chaning the fact you didn't come so eat your heart out people! LOL!




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