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Same Dress Drama

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9 replies to this topic

#1 Shannond4156

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    Posted 21 October 2008 - 05:07 PM

    So I briefly posted this in another thread, but I am a little stressed out about this and need some perspective. One of my girlfriends is getting married two months after I am. I bought my dress this weekend and just found out today we have the same dress - exact same! I know buying her dress was a struggle for her, it took her a long time to settle on one and I was the exact opposite, I found mine the first day out.

    Anyway long story short, she has decided to exchange her dress and get a new one. I am feeling bad and I thought the dress was supposed to be the fun part. She is a good friend and I think her decision is more based on she likes to be an individual, but I think I need to let it go and move on . . . right?

    #2 Mrs D To Be!

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      Posted 21 October 2008 - 05:10 PM

      ooh thats a tricky one...especially if her wedding is after yours - no way is she gonna wanna be seen in the same dress you wore 2 months before hand - was she upset or did she say anything to you about it?

      #3 reevesbride

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        Posted 21 October 2008 - 09:16 PM

        Your in a tough spot. How many people will be at both weddings? Is there a chance that people will remember that you have the same dress?

        Here's another perspective for you. Personally I would totally tell my friend to keep the dress she fell in love with and for you do the same. If you two both have the same dress and are ok with that idea then that should be just fine with everyone else. Go with what makes you both happy if you both fell in love with the same dress and dont have a problem with having the same one then dont worry about it. A few people may notice if you have some of the same guest at both weddings but im sure that if your cool about it if someone says anything about it it should be a dead issue with anyone else. It really all comes down to confidence and how you present the situation. If you brush it off then everyone else will too. Share the funny story if any one notices and asks about it.

        #4 coppergoddess13

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          Posted 21 October 2008 - 09:30 PM

          Well... I'll be honest, in this situation, I'd have just laughed REALLY hard with each other, made certain our accessories were different, and worn the dress I loved. You are different people, you'd both look completely different in it, and it would be 'you' no matter what. If she is open to wearing the same dress, and was afraid you'd be upset, you might suggest she really keep the dress she loves, unless it really matters to you. Either way, its a dress, not the end of the world- if she has to find another one, I'm sure she'll find something else she loves just as much (just might take some more time!). Good luck!

          #5 Shannond4156

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            Posted 22 October 2008 - 09:56 AM

            I think why I feel bad is I am okay with it. We might have one or two good friends that overlap our weddings, but since I am doing a DW we won't have a huge group with us. I thought all was okay (any pretty funny) until yesterday when she told me she is returning her dress. She really struggled with finding a dress she liked, so I hate having her return one she loves. She told me that she is okay with it and that this incident is a sign that it is not the right dress for her. I offered to see if I can return mine because in the one day I went out I found three I really liked, but she turned me down.

            Plus I also made the mistake of telling her I was so excited because I thought my dress was perfect for the beach - oops! She is having a big church wedding. In my defense I didn't know our dresses were even a similar style at this point. Must learn to keep my mouth shut!

            Tough situation!

            #6 *Casey*

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              Posted 22 October 2008 - 10:01 AM

              That's a toughie... If she is so willing to get a new dress, then maybe she wasn't absolutely sold on the one yall both had. I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Is she acting weird towards you?

              #7 Mrs D To Be!

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                Posted 22 October 2008 - 03:58 PM

                well if you offered to change your dress and she was still saying she would return hers, I also think that maybe she is having second thoughts on whether the dress was right for her in the first place...or, she doesn't know how to deal with the situation and doesn't want to come across as a bridezilla! You know your friend best, would she normally just come right out with it?

                Being honest, I don't mind people doing alot the same as me, but if one of my friends chose either the same location, or same dress as me, i'd have a problem with it...but thats me personally. But again, if i didn't say anything and just kept it to myself, then it would be my own fault that i didn't address the situation.


                #8 becks



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                  Posted 22 October 2008 - 04:40 PM

                  Honestly, I think you're fine. You offered to exchange yours. She turned you down. (I assume you countered with an "are you sure" and she still said not to return yours.)

                  Stuff happens. If a friend had told me they were going to wear my same dress, I wouldn't have given it another thought - just how fabulous we would both look.

                  You offered, she declined. End of story.

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                  #9 KLC77

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                    Posted 23 October 2008 - 12:35 AM

                    Hey, great minds think alike and you both obviously have exquisite taste! If you were ok with both of you wearing it and you offered to be the one to return it if it had to be done, then I think you've done all you can. I agree with pp that if she's so quick to want to return it maybe she wasn't that in love...

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                    #10 ErinB


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                      Posted 23 October 2008 - 03:27 PM

                      My first reaction would be anger, just because you had your dress first. I would then laugh about it, which you are doing. In the end it really won't matter. It just means you two both have great taste! LOL

                      I don't really see a reason for her to take the dress back if she truly does love it.

                      If it were me and you are close to the same size, I would even offer my dress up as her "something borrowed" or sell it wo her for her wedding. I am all about saving money and it would be a nice gesture.

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