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Why is the thought of changing my last name freaking me out?


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#31 Maura

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieSam
Maura, I totally shoulda PMed you on this, cause you're right, we are totally in the same boat! I think I'll do exactly what you've suggested ~ it makes sense and my professional name will still be intact. Aside from the fact that my legal name will now need its own zip code -- Maria Samantha S------ W----- I think it's a great solution. *sigh* thanks girl!!!
if you wanna PM me and we can exchange emails to talk about how i did it/why i did it the way i did, feel free! i'll need my own zip code for my legal name too (Maura C----- E---- W---- H----- last name is 2 words, total of 13 letters!)

#32 Kla.Kari

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    Posted 17 October 2008 - 11:00 PM

    Wow, I realize I hadn't really started to think about this yet....

    Add one more mark on my stress meter! LOL.
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    #33 rdhbride

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      Posted 17 October 2008 - 11:02 PM

      i feel bad changing my name , almost like a insult to my dad. i know its crazy but thats how i feel and i love my name also, so up in the air with this!

      #34 BecBennett

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        Posted 19 October 2008 - 08:39 PM

        I don't want to change my last name either. It goes so well with my first name! I hate the thought of having to spell his surname to everyone I give it to, and it doesn't sound right, and hyphenating it sounds stupid too...

        #35 CarrieRN

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          Posted 19 October 2008 - 10:57 PM

          My sister is an optometrist. So at work, she uses Dr. (Maiden name) and other wise she uses her married last name.
          Which is an unusual greek name that no one can spell, pronounce or remember. She says if she wants them to forget her name, she goes with married and when she wants to be remembered....maiden name.
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          #36 azhuskergirl

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            Posted 22 October 2008 - 07:58 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by kleslie5
            Reading your message, I know how you feel since I have many of the same thoughts. So I'm keeping my last name :)

            Especially in my profession, when you have built a reputation and client base, etc, based on you last name, this is pretty common. But it is a very personal decision!
            This is my issue. Everyone in my industry know me as Susan Single, not Susan Married. And, after having my name for 32 years it's hard to let it go. It took Brad a while to understand why I want to hyphenate (yes, I'm aware that everyone who hyphenates says they want to change it to their married name, because it's a pain in the add to hyphenate).

            #37 Lenchika

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              Posted 22 October 2008 - 08:49 PM

              I agree with so many brides on here - i feel changing the last name is changing my identity! My last name is harder to spell too and pretty ethnic - and I also feel that I'm somehow giving up my heritage. My FI did not take the hyphenation idea well.

              When I try to feel myself better - I think..."Well at least I'm moving up in the alphabet... from a "V" to a "B".

              And i like what some girls on here said - its not that I'm loosing something - i'm gaining something... yeah... new start...
              Ah..decisions, decisions, decisions...

              -L

              #38 Celina

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                Posted 23 October 2008 - 10:18 AM

                MarieSam,

                I feel just like you! I too am having the same issues and can't seem to get past them.

                Like you I was a single mom, accomplished everything on my own, and I am now at a crossroad where I just can't let my last name go. My last name is very Latin, and my FI's last name isnt.

                I've been telling everyone that I am trading in my Mexican card and am going to the other side. While I say it jokingly - that's really how I feel.

                It is VERY hard for me. I have told him I wanted to hypenate my name and he is dead set against it. Nothing is making me feel better about this. The sweet thing is my daughter has already changed her name at school.

                I think for me the only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that I am doing it for my kids. Otherwise I don't think I would or could. This for me is the biggest adjustment. I feel your pain sister. I feel your pain.
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                #39 *Casey*

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                  Posted 23 October 2008 - 10:22 AM

                  I'm not much freaked out about it as much as I am sad. My dads parents have both passed away, he has 1 sister who is married so she doesn't have the family name anymore. I have 3 sisters who are all married so when my parents die, the family name will be lost forever And it's not really a name that would work as a middle name like some people do.

                  #40 MarieSam

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                    Posted 31 October 2008 - 07:39 AM

                    Thanks so much gals for all your insight, it feels good to know I'm not the only one who feels apprehensive about changing my last name. But with all the great ideas and suggestions you've given me ~ I think I'll be able to make a decision on my last name that I can be content with and still make FI happy
                    MarieSam,

                    I feel just like you! I too am having the same issues and can't seem to get past them.

                    Like you I was a single mom, accomplished everything on my own, and I am now at a crossroad where I just can't let my last name go. My last name is very Latin, and my FI's last name isnt.

                    I've been telling everyone that I am trading in my Mexican card and am going to the other side. While I say it jokingly - that's really how I feel.

                    It is VERY hard for me. I have told him I wanted to hypenate my name and he is dead set against it. Nothing is making me feel better about this. The sweet thing is my daughter has already changed her name at school.

                    I think for me the only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that I am doing it for my kids. Otherwise I don't think I would or could. This for me is the biggest adjustment. I feel your pain sister. I feel your pain.
                    Celina, you and I are in the same boat. I am so proud of the things I've been able to accomplish on my own, specifically raising my little girl (13, I guess not so little anymore). But to lose my last name completely just leaves me feeling a little empty.

                    I think I am going to go ahead and just add FI's last name to my legal name, but still use my maiden name professionally ~ and like you my maiden name is very "ethnic" sounding, and honestly gives me a bit of an edge in my career field. So he does understand why it's important to me in that sense.

                    You should definitely talk to FI about the importance of at least hyphenating your last name and what it means to you. It seems like you have a great guy and I'm sure in the end he'll understand.

                    That is so wonderful that your daughter has already embraced her new last name ~ my daughter is eager to do the same. I guess we should feel lucky to have children who are excited to transition into their new names, yanno it could be worse girl
                    I'm not much freaked out about it as much as I am sad. My dads parents have both passed away, he has 1 sister who is married so she doesn't have the family name anymore. I have 3 sisters who are all married so when my parents die, the family name will be lost forever And it's not really a name that would work as a middle name like some people do.
                    Hmmmm so if not a good middle name, have you thought about hyphenating your maiden name and FI's last name? That way you can still preserve your father's last name?




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