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Why is the thought of changing my last name freaking me out?


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#21 Maura

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Posted 15 October 2008 - 02:15 PM

MarieSam, being in the same profession as you I can totally relate to your feeling.

You could do what I did - keep your byline and masthead as your maiden name, but add the new last name onto your maiden name on your email signature.

legally when i change my name after i've returned from mexico for christmas (have to wait because ticket is booked under maiden name, plus i didnt want to change name & jeopardize my papers not going through quick enough for me to re-register to vote in the election!), i will just be adding his last name onto mine (so ill be Maura W----- H-----). i will still legally keep my middle name as my middle name, and my maiden as part of my last.

this was a solution that allows me to keep up my "professional brand" without getting rid of my maiden name. KWIM?

#22 NJ_bride

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    Posted 15 October 2008 - 04:47 PM

    I'm not freaked about changing my last name but everyone else is...Ha! Ha! I'm going from Fico (4 letters) to Liberatoscioli (14 letters) my coworkers, friends, even family are like can we still use Fico? I'm cool with my new name b/c it goes good with my first name. For sure our kids are getting short first names! Lol!

    #23 LBP

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      Posted 15 October 2008 - 04:57 PM

      I've decided to stick to my maiden name. My to be married name does not flow nicely and within my profession I am known and do not want to hyphenate. My FI says he understand that I am my own person.

      #24 Hartyt509

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        Posted 15 October 2008 - 06:44 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Bianca
        I also refuse to change my name. FI knows its not happening so he isn't opposing it. One thing I did offer is to hyphenate it IF and ONLY IF we do the same with our son's last name who currently has FI's name...

        But its important to FI for our son to have his last name bc the name dies with him!
        Yeah we said the same thing but I've told him he'll be in the army and if i register the kid i'll register it in my name lmao he thinks i'm joking but i'm not lmao I mean his surname his mum changed so its not his birth name so screw that lmao

        #25 FoxyBride

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          Posted 15 October 2008 - 07:06 PM

          I know women are supposed to be all new age nowadays but I think there's something sweet & unifying about changing your name and becoming "The Whoevers". Especially when you have kids and all that.

          Personally, I always assumed I would change it until I got into a profession where my name is sort of my brand and there's absolutely no way I'd change it professionally. I hate hyphenated last names so I'd never do that either. I'm thinking I'm just going to tack his name on the end and have two last names.

          I kind of wish our culture was like the hispanic culture in that everyone has two last names, one if your mother's & one is your father's and everyone knows which is which so all the legacy things stay in tact. Then when you get married you drop one for your husband's father's last name.

          #26 KLC77

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            Posted 15 October 2008 - 07:31 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Maura

            legally when i change my name after i've returned from mexico for christmas (have to wait because ticket is booked under maiden name, plus i didnt want to change name & jeopardize my papers not going through quick enough for me to re-register to vote in the election!), i will just be adding his last name onto mine (so ill be Maura W----- H-----). i will still legally keep my middle name as my middle name, and my maiden as part of my last.
            This is exactly what I am doing. Not for professional reasons, but because I don't feel like I am giving something up. I am gaining something. I see no reason not to just add his last name to my already perfect name. So, I will be Kelly Lynn C--- S---. There is no way I could give up my last name and have it not be a part of my name at all. Its who I am and who I have been for 31 years. That's a big deal.
            ~Kelly

            Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

            #27 KatieK28

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              Posted 15 October 2008 - 07:37 PM

              FI and I are both changing our names to his middle name. FI is not that close to his biological dad and his middle name is his maternal grandfather's name. I like that we are both changing - starting a new together. We've had some resistance from other family members though - not sure why?

              #28 sstotz

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                Posted 15 October 2008 - 11:51 PM

                lol, im actually REALLY excited about it.. I'll get to say Shannon May..like the month (hhaaha, thats what my fiance always has to say because people want to spell it like mae..)
                and,..it rhymes with a lot of fun things, and i can always throw it in songs.. haha i know, random.
                ~Soon to be Shanny May
                June 20th, 2009
                Cabo San Lucas, MX

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                #29 MarieSam

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                  Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:21 AM

                  Oh thank you, thank you, thank you so much ladies!!! Your input and insight in my anxiety over my last name has helped greatly. I just got done reading everyone's comments and I'm so GLAD others have experienced the same feelings and I'm not actually just being a crazy biatch, lol.
                  I didn't want to change my last name. LOL, I still haven't changed it. My husband's last name is so generic (Lee). I've told him this already. He reluctantly agrees with me. I love my last name (Binjour). Actually, I love my entire name.
                  I love your last name too ~ it sounds exotic and sexy!!!
                  Don't think of it as Stripping away your Idenity...Thing of it as Adding to it! Your still you...You still made all those accomplishments you mentioned above...Your last name doesn't change that.
                  It only means that you have decided to share your life with someone & Take his last name. A whole new chance for new accomplishments..together.
                  You can always Hyphenate (sp?) which would be a really easy solution..But the men don't like that too much!! LOL I suggested it to Joe and he was like, Uh..No!! I like my last name..But I like his too! It's all part of this thing we call marriage!
                  Good luck with whatever you decide! :-)
                  Your "togetherness" point is totally right, thanks girl ~ I've somehow lost sight of the wonderful part of all this
                  MarieSam, being in the same profession as you I can totally relate to your feeling.

                  You could do what I did - keep your byline and masthead as your maiden name, but add the new last name onto your maiden name on your email signature.

                  legally when i change my name after i've returned from mexico for christmas (have to wait because ticket is booked under maiden name, plus i didnt want to change name & jeopardize my papers not going through quick enough for me to re-register to vote in the election!), i will just be adding his last name onto mine (so ill be Maura W----- H-----). i will still legally keep my middle name as my middle name, and my maiden as part of my last.

                  this was a solution that allows me to keep up my "professional brand" without getting rid of my maiden name. KWIM?
                  Maura, I totally shoulda PMed you on this, cause you're right, we are totally in the same boat! I think I'll do exactly what you've suggested ~ it makes sense and my professional name will still be intact. Aside from the fact that my legal name will now need its own zip code -- Maria Samantha S------ W----- I think it's a great solution. *sigh* thanks girl!!!

                  #30 ~*~Margie~*~

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                    Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:40 AM

                    I am so glad to see that I am not the only one struggling with this !!! I love my last name, I am so attached to it. I feel like it defines my connection to my family. Plus, its short and easy to spell (Nevin). But now, when I take his name it will be Johnstonbaugh - 13 LETTERS!!! I can't just scribble that when I sign my name and I will FOREVER be telling people how to say it. My FI is so offended that I am so attached to my name and he thinks I should drop it all together, he just doesn't get what it means to me. Don't get me wrong, I want to share something with my new husband, and I want to have the same last name as my son and future children but I just don't have a connection to his name and I don't know if I ever will. I think I may just take my last name as my middle name but that will still offend him and I don't know if that is the best way to start a marriage. So I remain torn.


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