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Why is the thought of changing my last name freaking me out?

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#11 **~Jenn~**

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    Posted 15 October 2008 - 09:24 AM

    Originally Posted by MarieSam
    I don't know what it is lately, but the thought of changing my last name has really started to freak me out. Has anyone else felt like this?

    Perhaps it's because I've been so independent my entire life, especially in the latter years. Raising my daughter on my own, paying for my own bills since I was 14, and putting myself through a $30,000/year education sans my parents help. I know part of the reasoning is also my profession because it's how people know me.

    I know the resolution is to hyphenate, which I mentioned to FI and he gave me a funny look, I can only imagine what he'll think if I express my true anxiety.

    I'm proud of who I am and what I've accomplished, and somehow changing my last name feels like I'm stripping away a part of my identity?? Am I crazy?

    Don't think of it as Stripping away your Idenity...Thing of it as Adding to it! Your still you...You still made all those accomplishments you mentioned above...Your last name doesn't change that.
    It only means that you have decided to share your life with someone & Take his last name. A whole new chance for new accomplishments..together.
    You can always Hyphenate (sp?) which would be a really easy solution..But the men don't like that too much!! LOL I suggested it to Joe and he was like, Uh..No!! I like my last name..But I like his too! It's all part of this thing we call marriage!
    Good luck with whatever you decide! :-)
    Married @ Dreams Cancun 06/24/09
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    #12 Bianca

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      Posted 15 October 2008 - 09:30 AM

      Originally Posted by Hartyt509
      I'm not changing mine lol I didn't change it the last time either.

      FI isn't bothered because quiet honestly it wouldn't have made any diff if he was it wasn't changing for all the tea in china lol
      I also refuse to change my name. FI knows its not happening so he isn't opposing it. One thing I did offer is to hyphenate it IF and ONLY IF we do the same with our son's last name who currently has FI's name...

      But its important to FI for our son to have his last name bc the name dies with him!
      19 adults/3 children with flights booked! 10 rooms booked!


      #13 bumbles

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        Posted 15 October 2008 - 09:58 AM

        I feel the same way! FI and I had this conversation this weekend. I don't want to change my name, but he wants our future family to be united under one name. A friend and her husband both changed their names to a hypenated version of their last names. So, it's Joe Hislastname-Herlastname and Sally Hislastname-Herlastname. This isn't an option for us as our last names will be so long! We talked about picking a random last name for both of us to keep things fair, but I don't know about that. Right now, my plan is to avoid the situation for as long as possible

        #14 KatyKo

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          Posted 15 October 2008 - 10:08 AM

          I think I will go through a bit of an "identity crisis" when I change mine, but my last name has caused me to spend who knows how much time in my life explaining how to say it, how to spell it, that it is not Polish or Japanese, etc... So I am actually a little excited to go from Kosatschenko (12 letters) to Rust (4 letters). But everyone knows me because my last name is so long and so unusual, so that will be a little sad.

          Not sure what I will do about my nickname either - KatyKo (because no one can say my last name!!)

          #15 BachataBride

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            Posted 15 October 2008 - 10:18 AM

            Well...I'm more than happy to change my name...I think Amanda Merrigan sounds really nice!! Plus my last name now is my Dad's who is kind of a weiner!

            My FSIL just got married in August and her husbands name is Foote...she wanted to incorporate both last names & the two of them change their name to Merrifootegan!! She's such a nut!

            #16 ~*Kathy*~

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              Posted 15 October 2008 - 12:15 PM

              I know this is going to sound horrible, but I can't wait to drop my current last name. I won't bore you all with the long details but it's my dad's last name and he and I (and pretty much his side of the family) do not get along and I haven't spoken to my dad or have seen him in almost ten years.

              My FH's last name is more difficult to spell for people but I don't care, I know I'm going to love being Mrs. ___, as corny as that might be.

              #17 MsSunshine

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                Posted 15 October 2008 - 12:25 PM

                I know exactly how you feel. Fortunately, my husband said that he doesn't mind me keeping my maiden name. He said I can even hyphenate it as well. It's hard to let go of your maiden name...if you really don't want to change your last name don't do it! At my old job, I still had people referring me by my last name as well because it was just easier.

                #18 niels408

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                  Posted 15 October 2008 - 01:01 PM

                  I don't really mind changing mine either, its Nielsen, so pretty un-original...my fiance is Italian so his name is more fun! But I do understand the tght of changing it & the first time I saw my friend write it out for fun, was really weird & frightening!

                  #19 GracieBebe

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                    Posted 15 October 2008 - 01:14 PM

                    I'm indifferent about changing my last name or not. But one thing's for sure, I can't hyphenate it. My last name is Oh. If I put it before FH's last name, it sounds Irish/Scottish, and if I put it at the end, his last name is an italian last name and I end up sounding like a can of Spaghetti-O's. LOL!

                    - Grace
                    Location - Chateau de Challain, Challain la Potherie, France
                    Engagement Date - Sept. 6, 2008
                    Wedding Date - Sept. 9, 2009
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                    #20 jajajaja

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                      Posted 15 October 2008 - 01:24 PM

                      Yes- I totally get it. I freaked out too. My hubby kinda took it personal and I kept trying to explain it wasn't him- it's just giving up your identity. It's hard thing to wrap your head around. I might not have changed my name if I didn't see how much it bothered him. Well now that we have been married for 7 months, I totally am used to my new name. It's me now.

                      So long story short- at first it's weird and scary. But then you get used to the "new" name, but it's still the same YOU. :)
                      Happily married since 2008

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