| Originally Posted by Morgan |
Has anyone else read this? My copy came in from Amazon today & i started to read it.
It is about how people express & feel love differently. So if your mate feels love with "words of affection" and you express your love to them with "physical touch" they may not feel loved.
The 5 languages are
1. word of affirmation
2. quality time
3. receiving gifts
4. acts of service
5. physical touch
I think my love language is Acts of Service. I'm still unsure, but when I think about the things I love about Mike, I usually think about the kind things he does for me. But, maybe it's because that is how he expresses his love. It's probably my love language, but I'm still trying to figure that out.
I know mine is defintily not Receiving Gifts. When we first started dating he'd give me lots of gifts & it really upset me. but, it's interesting to me that for some people, that is what makes them feel loved. Maybe that is why I'm a lousy gift giver, because I feel love through Acts of Service. So instead of gifts I like to do something for someone.
I haven't figured out Mike's love language yet. I know he feels loved if I bake him brownies. Maybe his is Gifts of Chocolate.
The five love languages, as set forth by Dr. Chapman, are as follows:
Words of Affirmation
Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.
Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.
Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a "gold digger," someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.
Acts of Service
Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.
Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.
i have not yet read this book, although one of my good friends told me about it back in April. She told me the basics and i'm definitely the gift giver! She is going to give it to us for our wedding so i'm trying really hard not to read it until then.