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The Five Love Languages book


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#11 Kits55

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 05:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgan
Has anyone else read this? My copy came in from Amazon today & i started to read it.

It is about how people express & feel love differently. So if your mate feels love with "words of affection" and you express your love to them with "physical touch" they may not feel loved.

The 5 languages are
1. word of affirmation
2. quality time
3. receiving gifts
4. acts of service
5. physical touch


I think my love language is Acts of Service. I'm still unsure, but when I think about the things I love about Mike, I usually think about the kind things he does for me. But, maybe it's because that is how he expresses his love. It's probably my love language, but I'm still trying to figure that out.

I know mine is defintily not Receiving Gifts. When we first started dating he'd give me lots of gifts & it really upset me. but, it's interesting to me that for some people, that is what makes them feel loved. Maybe that is why I'm a lousy gift giver, because I feel love through Acts of Service. So instead of gifts I like to do something for someone.

I haven't figured out Mike's love language yet. I know he feels loved if I bake him brownies. Maybe his is Gifts of Chocolate.





The five love languages, as set forth by Dr. Chapman, are as follows:

Words of Affirmation
Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

Quality Time
Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.

Receiving Gifts
Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a "gold digger," someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.

Acts of Service
Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.

Physical Touch
Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.
Morgan:

i have not yet read this book, although one of my good friends told me about it back in April. She told me the basics and i'm definitely the gift giver! She is going to give it to us for our wedding so i'm trying really hard not to read it until then.

#12 Maura

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 05:26 PM

i just wanted to chime in that i love this book! we received it as a wedding gift (and i wish we'd received it as an engagement gift instead so i couldve had this knowledge before the wedding!). i'm planning on giving it to 3 girlfriends who are all engaged and having showers in the next few months.

#13 ACDCDCAC

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DLyteful
Wow Morgan, this book does sound really interesting. I might go out and get it. I know without a doubt my honey expresses his love through Acts of Service. I cant tell if my are Quality Time or Physical Touch.... thanks for sharing Morgan.
DANG GIRL, we are one in the same. i was about to reply the same things toy did. doug is SO acts of service, while i am torn between QT and PT :)

does it say anything about people who are 2 languages??

#14 ACDCDCAC

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 05:50 PM

yolanda, 1st LOVE the new siggy! gorgeous!
2nd, it would be interesting to read the womens, then the mens version. just to compare how it is explained to both sexes might be good!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JUSTUSTWO
This sounds very interesting. I may be a combination of Quality time, Acts of Service and a little Physical touch. Chris is definitely Acts of Service. One of the things I absolutely love about him is the fact that he does sooo many things for me, even things he doesn't like to do, without 1 complaint.
I think I'm definitely going to pick up a copy tomorrow! I see they even have a "men's edition". Thanks Morgan.


#15 Agape Gems

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    Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:19 PM

    this is a great book and if you have children there is a version for parenting too
    See our professional weddings photos http://bestdestinati...om/forum/t21339

    #16 kate.com

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      Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:33 PM

      I am deff. acts of service and he is PT! And not just sex either, he loves it when I rub his leg... silly but true! He gives his love as more affirmation and I actually do give love as gifts of service, therefore I get more frusterated than him! I haven't read this book in a long time and brought it up to him... we are planning to read it together and this served as a reminder!

      #17 rodent

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        Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:43 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Abbie
        DANG GIRL, we are one in the same. i was about to reply the same things toy did. doug is SO acts of service, while i am torn between QT and PT :)

        does it say anything about people who are 2 languages??
        yeah you can have more than one language. also, you can feel loved through all of them, but you still have a primary language.

        I think the main thing is to be aware of what makes your partner feel loved. I realized i need to spend more quality time with mike because that matters mroe to him than it does me. so we went hiking this weekend. i'm making an effort to watch more guy movies.

        #18 rodent

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          Posted 20 October 2008 - 06:45 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by kate.com
          I am deff. acts of service and he is PT! And not just sex either, he loves it when I rub his leg... silly but true! He gives his love as more affirmation and I actually do give love as gifts of service, therefore I get more frusterated than him! I haven't read this book in a long time and brought it up to him... we are planning to read it together and this served as a reminder!
          my brother is like a puppy. he feels loved by having his back scratched :)

          #19 LadyP

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            Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:02 PM

            I ordered it on Thursday should be here anyday

            #20 DLyteful

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              Posted 20 October 2008 - 07:37 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Abbie
              DANG GIRL, we are one in the same. i was about to reply the same things toy did. doug is SO acts of service, while i am torn between QT and PT :)

              does it say anything about people who are 2 languages??
              Thats too funny. Sometimes I start getting mad at my honey cause I'm not getting my quality time.... Than I have to remember all that he has done for us. So knowing how he expresses his love (and remembering) helps alot. I think Morgan is going to have every body on this form going out to buy this book, LOL.




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