Legal Ceremony...guilt from parents
Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:50 PM
Well, he is currently out of town and today I told him that my FI and I are going to the courthouse tomorrow to do the "legal" ceremony. I wasn't sure if I should just do it or if I should tell him...I figured it was better to tell him because I didn't want to hurt him when he finds out I did it without telling him. His reaction wasn't the greatest. He told me he disapproves and that I am disrespecting him. I countered that I think I am respecting him by telling him and not doing it behind his back. Either way I can't win, I never can. So now I feel good for sticking up to him, but at the same time....I feel the guilt from him. I hate that he can do that to me. Why do we need our parents approval so bad? I say I don't, but then I feel bad when I let them down. Either way our wedding in Cancun is in two weeks. I'm sure he will get over it.
Have any of your parents given you a hard time about getting married in a court house??
Thanks for listening!
Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:54 PM
I hope your dad comes around.
Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:58 PM
Maybe if you just explain to your Dad that it will be less hassle for you to do the ceremony in the courthouse before going to your destination. I"m not sure if the religious aspect is important to you and your FI,(but if it is) tell your Dad that the ceremony also means alot to you and your FI and that even though the legal ceremony counts; it won't really mean as much unless it's performed before God and your family. I think it's important to let others know that their feelings and beliefs matter too and that you want your Dad to be happy for you in your decision, just as you want to take his feelings into consideration. Life is a 2-way street...
Posted 13 October 2008 - 05:04 PM
That was one of my biggest life lessons - I can't make anyone else happy - everyone gets to decide for themselves how they feel. That allowed me to let go of all the guilt/pain/regret. It also taught me to be more easygoing. Since I'm in charge of my emotions, I dont want to spend my time being upset, so I choose not to.
Congrats for standing your ground! That takes a lot of courage. And I agree with you - God will be included because you include Him!
Posted 13 October 2008 - 05:57 PM
Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:02 PM
Good luck. I know it's not an easy thing to go through.
January 22, 2009
Grand Palladium, Riviera Maya, Mexico
Posted 13 October 2008 - 07:21 PM
Posted 14 October 2008 - 02:02 AM
Posted 14 October 2008 - 06:04 AM
my suggestion is to be frank honest with what you decide and back your reason up. either way it's your decision.
my fiance and i are having a catholic ceremony in Cancun next April but we are getting maried legally in the US before we leave for Cancun. It's very important for us to get married in a catholic ceremony in cancun and getting married legally first is their requirement.
we are not telling our family. if they do find out about it, we are ready to back our behind up. we are simply doing the legal ceremony n order to have the catholic ceremony in mexico.
Posted 14 October 2008 - 01:45 PM
However saying that I'd do what I wanted to do and if dad didn't like it it is his problem lol
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