Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
MonoAmor

Getting Rid of a Pet Advice??

Recommended Posts

OMG i thought the black cat thing was just because people wanted to have them as a decoration. people can be sick though. someone killed my dad's cat & did some aweful things with it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally agree with Tammy on this. If your FI doesn't want to accept the cat as a part of you, then I would be a deal breaker for me. Love me and my pets or get lost, IMO. It's your "cat" this time, what is next? He can love you, for all you are... Not to try to change things about you.

 

BTW the Humane Society is a kill shelter, well at least they are in MI. The sad thing is that the shelters are so overwhelmed with cats, and alot of them are PTS (put to sleep) because they just don't have the room for them all. It's a sad truth, if you really have to give your pet up, find it a good home, or MAKE SURE it's a no kill shelter, don't just assume it is. The older cats are harder to adopt out, sad fact.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgan View Post
OMG i thought the black cat thing was just because people wanted to have them as a decoration. people can be sick though. someone killed my dad's cat & did some aweful things with it.
I know it's sad, but people still sacrifice Animals and so all of those ceremonies on black cats around halloween time...The shelters will not adopt them out until after for fear of this.
These poor animals...People just dont understand how important it is to look out for them. :-(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally if my fi told me i had to get rid of either one of my animals, i'd tell him to hit the road. And i would never let him treat them badly. They are like my kids. I wouldnt marry someone who would make me give up something so close to me or be so hurtful to something i love. That being said, my fi isnt like that and i'm sure your in a horrible position.

 

My sis used to volunteer for a cat rescue and it's very important that you dont take your cat to a shelter because cats are very hard to adopt out and get put to sleep because there are so many of them that dont have homes. I would look to find a good home for her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband isn't fond of my dog either, cuz she used to belong to my ex. But he knew that I love her and there wasn't a choice on whether she goes where I go. So I agree with the others, I couldn't be with someone who wanted me to get rid of my pet.

 

When I moved in wtih Matt, I did allow some compromise in the things Sugar was allowed to do though. Perhaps if you guys did something like that? I mean, I see that he already has "rules", but some of them are extreme and a little ridic. Sugar used to sleep in my bed and was allowed on the furniture before I lived with Matt. Now she has her own bed at the foot of our bed and she loves it. And she isn't allowed on our living room furniture, but she is allowed on the futon in our extra bedroom (craft room). It didn't take her long to learn the difference and now we are all happy with the situation.

 

But I have to reiterate that I would never get rid of my pet cuz someone "doesn't like" them. If would be different if the pet was nasty and bit or something, but I'd re-evalute the situationwith your FI and see if you can reach a compromise.

 

Perhaps he is using the cat as an excuse for things? Like a scape-goat??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no way that I want to get rid of her. Ive been thinking about it more and I honestly dont think Ide be able to ever. Its so hard trying to make him understand. He comes from a culture that has no respect for animals and dont keep pets, so this is really the first time hes had to live with one. Its so hard to change someones mind and show them how great pets are when they have been raised not to think that. My mom is so worried over the situation because like some of you said, what will happen with kids if he cant deal with a cat? Im starting to really wonder if there is a way to fix this, or if I should be moving on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you can see a lot about a person in how they treat animals. I don't care if they "like" them or not- a respectful, kind hearted person would not treat an animal terribly even if they didn't like them.

 

I understand that you say it's your husband's culture to not treat animals with respect, but is it part of his culture to force someone he loves to make a touch decision that could ultimately break their heart? I really can't wrap my brain around that one. My husband may not like some of the things I do but he ALWAYS puts my happiness first. Honestly, your FI can't handle your cat but he's willing to make you sad over it? That's something I would think about.

 

Other girls have mentioned the control aspect too. If I were you, I would worry what other compromises you would have to make to make him happy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with so many of the girls here. I understand that cultural differences may make it difficult for him to appreciate your kitty. However, I find it very disconcerting that he doesn't appreciate that you are attached to Kitty and that you don't want to get rid of her.

 

To me that's absurd. It's not like you yell at his best friend whenever he comes over because you don't like the friend. There is no difference here.

 

Maybe you need to sit him down and explain how important Kitty is to you. Maybe he just doesn't understand that point. But if he does and just doesn't care, I'd start standing up for Kitty and for yourself.

 

I'm also concerned that there is something more fundamental at hand. Like FI can't tolerate sharing your love and affection. If that's the case Kitty is just the object du jour, and if she goes, it's going to be something else that you love and care about... and then something else... and something else until the only thing of any meaning in your life is FI, because he's forced you to abandon friends and family to prove to him that you love him. And that's wrong on EVERY level.

 

Start by talking with him. If he doesn't understand, then I'd really slow down and give this some thought.

 

Good luck!!! I'm pulling for you - let us know how it goes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by TammyB View Post

BTW the Humane Society is a kill shelter, well at least they are in MI. The sad thing is that the shelters are so overwhelmed with cats, and alot of them are PTS (put to sleep) because they just don't have the room for them all. It's a sad truth, if you really have to give your pet up, find it a good home, or MAKE SURE it's a no kill shelter, don't just assume it is. The older cats are harder to adopt out, sad fact.
hmmm....that's strange, I thought all the Humane Society's were no kill, the one I volunteered at in FL was, but I guess they could all be different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by becks View Post
Maybe you need to sit him down and explain how important Kitty is to you. Maybe he just doesn't understand that point. But if he does and just doesn't care, I'd start standing up for Kitty and for yourself.

I'm also concerned that there is something more fundamental at hand. Like FI can't tolerate sharing your love and affection. If that's the case Kitty is just the object du jour, and if she goes, it's going to be something else that you love and care about... and then something else... and something else until the only thing of any meaning in your life is FI, because he's forced you to abandon friends and family to prove to him that you love him. And that's wrong on EVERY level.

Start by talking with him. If he doesn't understand, then I'd really slow down and give this some thought.
Good advice. Like Becks said i think you should have a sitdown with him and explain to him how much you care for your cat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi there, I think the idea of abroad trip is great for the newly married couple. But along with the trip you can also gift them some beautiful pairs of wholesale designer sunglasses, that will be helpful to them on the trip. By wearing wholesale sunglasses they look stylish and fashionable.
    • What is BMI? Body Mass Index ( BMI index ) is a person’s weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters. For children and teens, BMI is age- and sex-specific and is often referred to as BMI-for-age. In children, a high amount of body fat can lead to weight-related diseases and other health issues and being underweight can also put one at risk for health issues. A high BMI can be an indicator of high body fatness. BMI does not measure body fat directly, but research has shown that BMI is correlated with more direct measures of body fat, such as skinfold thickness measurements, bioelectrical impedance, densitometry (underwater weighing), dual energy x-ray absorptiometry (DXA) and other methods1,2,3. BMI can be considered an alternative to direct measures of body fat. In general, BMI is an inexpensive and easy-to-perform method of screening for weight categories that may lead to health problems. How is BMI calculated for children and teens? Calculating BMI using the BMI Percentile Calculator involves the following steps: Measure height and weight. Refer to Measuring Children’s Height and Weight Accurately At Home for guidance. Use the Child and Teen BMI Calculator to calculate BMI. The BMI number is calculated using standard formulas. What is a BMI percentile and how is it interpreted? After BMI is calculated for children and teens, it is expressed as a percentile which can be obtained from either a graph or a percentile calculator (see links below). These percentiles express a child’s BMI relative to children in the U.S. who participated in national surveys that were conducted from 1963-65 to 1988-944. Because weight and height change during growth and development, as does their relation to body fatness, a child’s BMI must be interpreted relative to other children of the same sex and age. The BMI-for-age percentile growth charts are the most commonly used indicator to measure the size and growth patterns of children and teens in the United States. BMI-for-age weight status categories and the corresponding percentiles were based on expert committee recommendations and are shown in the following table.   Weight Status Category Percentile Range Underweight Less than the 5th percentile Normal or Healthy Weight 5th percentile to less than the 85th percentile Overweight 85th to less than the 95th percentile Obese Equal to or greater than the 95th percentile   How is BMI used with children and teens? For children and teens, BMI is not a diagnostic tool and is used to screen for potential weight and health-related issues. For example, a child may have a high BMI for their age and sex, but to determine if excess fat is a problem, a health care provider would need to perform further assessments. These assessments might include skinfold thickness measurements, evaluations of diet, physical activity, family history, and other appropriate health screenings. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the use of BMI to screen for overweight and obesity in children beginning at 2 years old. For children under the age of 2 years old, consult the WHO standards. BMI online Is BMI interpreted the same way for children and teens as it is for adults? BMI is interpreted differently for children and teens even though it is calculated as weight ÷ height2. Because there are changes in weight and height with age, as well as their relation to body fatness, BMI levels among children and teens need to be expressed relative to other children of the same sex and age. These percentiles are calculated from the CDC growth charts, which were based on national survey data collected from 1963-65 to 1988-944. Obesity is defined as a BMI at or above the 95th percentile for children and teens of the same age and sex. For example, a 10-year-old boy of average height (56 inches) who weighs 102 pounds would have a BMI of 22.9 kg/m2. This would place the boy in the 95th percentile for BMI, and he would be considered to have obesity. This means that the child’s BMI is greater than the BMI of 95% of 10-year-old boys in the reference population. For adults, BMI is interpreted as weight status categories that are not dependent on sex or age. Read more: How to interpret BMI for adult BMI Why can’t healthy weight ranges be provided for children and teens? Normal or healthy weight weight status is based on BMI between the 5th and 85th percentile on the CDC growth chart. It is difficult to provide healthy weight ranges for children and teens because the interpretation of BMI depends on weight, height, age, and sex. What are the BMI trends for children and teens in the United States? The prevalence of children and teens who measure in the 95th percentile or greater on the CDC growth charts has greatly increased over the past 40 years. Recently, however, this trend has leveled off and has even declined in certain age groups. To learn more about child and teen obesity trends, visit Childhood Obesity Facts. How can I tell if my child is overweight or obese? CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend the use of BMI to screen for overweight and obesity in children and teens age 2 through 19 years. For children under the age of 2 years old, consult the WHO standards. Although BMI is used to screen for overweight and obesity in children and teens, BMI is not a diagnostic tool. To determine whether the child has excess fat, further assessment by a trained health professional would be needed. For information about the consequences of childhood obesity, its contributing factors and more, see Tips for Parents – Ideas and Tips to Help Prevent Childhood Obesity. Can I determine if my child or teen is obese by using an adult BMI calculator? In general, it’s not possible to do this. The adult calculator provides only the BMI value (weight/height2) and not the BMI percentile that is needed to interpret BMI among children and teens. It is not appropriate to use the BMI categories for adults to interpret the BMI of children and teens. However, if a child or teen has a BMI of ≥ 30 kg/m2, the child is almost certainly obese. A BMI of 30 kg/m2 is approximately the 95th percentile among 17-year-old girls and 18-year-old boys. My two children have the same BMI values, but one is considered obese and the other is not. Why is that? The interpretation of BMI varies by age and sex. So if the children are not the same age and the same sex, the interpretation of BMI has different meanings. For children of different age and sex, the same BMI could represent different BMI percentiles and possibly different weight status categories. See the following graphic for an example for a 10-year-old boy and a 15-year-old boy who both have a BMI-for-age of 23. (Note that two children of different ages are plotted on the same growth chart to illustrate a point. Normally the measurement for only one child is plotted on a growth chart.)  
    • Whether your relatives were especially generous with their checks or you intentionally set up a cash registry, let’s be perfectly clear: There’s no right or wrong way to spend your wedding gift money.  So sit down and start talking to ensure you’re both on the same page, then check out some of our favorite ideas for spending (and saving) those dollars wisely. Be Sensible About the Long Run
      Sometimes it pays to be a responsible adult, even if it seems boring on the surface. Before that cash starts burning a hole in your pocket, it’s a good idea to “pay yourselves first.” That means paying down debt (especially if you racked up any for the wedding itself), starting a rainy day savings fund, or even contributing to your retirement accounts. It might feel like a lifetime away, but one day you’ll both be glad you made such a sound investment. Save Up for Something Big
      A wedding windfall offers the perfect opportunity to get the two of you closer to a future goal you’ve been dreaming of. It can be as immediate as investing in much-needed new furniture (you can finally dump that lumpy old mattress!), or as far down the road as saving up for a home. Or maybe you want to buy a new car—especially if that sporty two-seater you’re currently driving doesn’t exactly match up with your plans to have kids. Whatever the goal, working toward something together will only serve to strengthen your relationship. Bright idea: Want to put your wedding wedding toward a down payment on a house? Consider opening a certificate of deposit (CD), especially if you’re not planning to buy for a few years. CDs tend to offer higher interest rates than savings accounts—and since you can’t touch the money for a set period of time, it’s useful if you’re usually tempted to tap into your savings for more immediate needs. Have a Little Fun
      Once you’ve got the future squared away, it’s okay to treat yourselves—so go ahead and enjoy a mini splurge that’ll benefit both of you. Reserve a small amount to put toward a shared interest, like a high-tech wine fridge or top-of-the-line home theater system. Or if the two of you have been texting each other pictures of golden doodle puppies for weeks, and you’re serious about raising a dog or cat, visit your local shelter or check out reputable breeders to find a new four-legged friend. Allocating a bit of the funds for something exciting maintains a healthy balance in your spending habits, making long-term financial wellness more achievable. (You know what they say about all work and no play.) Bright idea: Take a class together. Having a common interest helps you grow as a couple, so pick something you both want to learn, like a foreign language, and enjoy that extra quality time. 
    • The Body Mass Index (BMI) Calculator can be used to calculate BMI value and corresponding weight status while taking age into consideration. Use the "Metric Units" tab for the International System of Units or the "Other Units" tab to convert units into either US or metric units. Note that the calculator also computes the Ponderal Index in addition to BMI, both of which are discussed below in detail. Reference BMI is a measurement of a person's leanness or corpulence based on their height and weight, and is intended to quantify tissue mass. Although BMI has limitations in that it is an estimate that cannot take body composition into account, it can be used as a general indicator of a healthy body weight based on a person's height. The value obtained from the calculation of BMI is widely used to categorize whether a person is underweight, normal weight, overweight, or obese depending on what range the value falls between. These ranges of BMI vary based on factors such as region and age, and are sometimes further divided into subcategories such as severely underweight or very severely obese. As previously mentioned however, due to a wide variety of body types as well as distribution of muscle, bone mass, and fat, BMI should be considered along with other measurements rather than being used as the sole method for determining a person's "healthy" body weight.   Body Mass Index Formula Below are the equations used for calculating BMI in the International System of Units (SI) and the US customary system (USC) using a 5'10", 160-pound individual as an example: USC Units: BMI = 703× mass (lbs)   height2 (in)  = 703× 160   702  = 22.96 kg   m2 SI, Metric Units: BMI =  mass (kg)   height2 (m)  =  72.57   1.782  = 22.90 kg   m2 Ponderal Index The Ponderal Index (PI) is similar to BMI in that it measures the leanness or corpulence of a person based on their height and weight. The main difference between the PI and BMI is the cubing rather than squaring of the height in the formula (provided below). While BMI can be a useful tool when considering large populations, it is not reliable for determining leanness or corpulence in individuals. Although the PI suffers from similar considerations, the PI is more reliable for use with very tall or short individuals, while BMI tends to record uncharacteristically high or low body fat levels for those on the extreme ends of the height and weight spectrum. Below is the equation for computing the PI of an individual using USC, again using a 5'10", 160-pound individual as an example: USC Units: PI =  height (in)   ∛mass (lbs)  =  70   ∛160  = 12.89 in   ∛lbs SI, Metric Units: PI =  mass (kg)   height3 (m)  =  72.57   1.783  = 12.87 kg   m3   BMI Table for Adults This is the World Health Organization's (WHO) recommended body weight based on BMI values for adults. It is used for both men and women, age 18 or older. Category BMI range - kg/m2 Severe Thinness < 16 Moderate Thinness 16 - 17 Mild Thinness 17 - 18.5 Normal 18.5 - 25 Overweight 25 - 30 Obese Class I 30 - 35 Obese Class II 35 - 40 Obese Class III > 40   >> Read more: BMI Online
    • After the wedding, the wedding dress purchased at a high price can be kept in the wardrobe, or it can be sold as a second-hand wedding dress for some cash. If you're in the market to sell your wedding dress or looking to buy a used one, you may be tempted to turn to large online marketplaces like Ebay and Craigslist. While these popular websites are great for listing and buying everyday purchases, a website specifically for used wedding dresses can probably offer you a better deal and a more user-friendly service for this very niche (and important) wedding day purchase.  Tips for Selling Used Wedding Dresses
      Whether you aren't the sentimental type or you're just savvy, selling your used wedding dress is an easy way to recoup some money from your wedding. If your dress is in good condition, consider listing it online over selling it to a thrift store, where your listing will reach a greater volume of potential buyers and can be more easily shared and promoted. A used wedding dress in great condition and under two years old can usually sell for 50 percent of the retail price. And, if your dress is a more recognizable brand like Oscar de la Renta or Vera Wang, you could make closer to 60 percent of its retail value. Even if your gown isn't designer, don't give up hope—since there's a large demand for all kinds of second hand wedding dresses, a designer label doesn't necessarily mean your dress will sell faster. Not to mention, mermaid dresses are also in high demand, so you shouldn't worry if you're not a sample size. Tips for Buying Used Wedding Dresses
      Buying a used wedding dress can be a bit of a gamble, but as long you're cautious, it's a thrifty way to snag a designer wedding dress for half the retail value. Plus, if you get lucky and buy a wedding dress from someone with a similar body type, you may not have to make too many alterations, which also cuts down on your costs. As long as the gown you found looks to be in good condition (if you can't see it in person, make sure photos show it clearly from all angles or ask to Skype with the seller to get a better look), a used wedding gown can be a terrific deal. A few tips: Since your dress will have to be custom-tailored to your body regardless, a larger size is easier to work with where alterations are concerned. Fabric can always be subtracted, but adding more fabric that perfectly matches the rest of the gown can be difficult (not to mention expensive!). And because you're getting the wedding dress for a steal, you can put some of the money you save toward making sure it fits like a glove (and some extra dry-cleaning if necessary).
  • Topics

×