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Strippers at Bachelor Party?

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#11 *Casey*

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    Posted 09 October 2008 - 12:10 PM

    I know its not technically cheating, but for some reason, that's exactly what it feels like. This is just really hitting a nerve with me!

    #12 bumbles

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      Posted 09 October 2008 - 12:25 PM

      Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like if you remove the bachelor party and strip club element from it, that type of behavior is like cheating!

      #13 boscobel

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        Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:03 PM

        Hmmm, I guess I am in the minority here, but it doesn't really bother me. Perhaps it's that I've been to strip clubs i nthe past, and been friends with strippers in the past, and I know it isn't always like the movies/rumors say it is.

        A womans body is sexy and I can't fault any man for wanting to look. I would much rather go to a female strip place then a male one. Talk about gross.

        But I also think that it's a very personal feeling. And it's totally not related to the security of your relationship or yourself. I am secure in my relationship, but not at all in myself and I still don't care. I think it's just how some of us are built. I am not a jealous person, and have never been, so these things don't bother me. Like I said, I think it's just in how our minds work or are put together. We all have triggers and this isn't one for me, personally.

        And regarding porn... Would you beleive that I've never watched a porno? I want to though, but not a corny one. Are they all corny? Cuz that's all I ever here. I even ordered some from a website like a year ago and we STILL haven't watched it! I mention it to Matt, but I think he feels stupid.

        #14 sunset78

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          Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:11 PM

          Strip clubs are that bad. I go with my FI occasionally, and have gone with my girlfriends. I have never been to a male one though, I'd think I'd laugh too much...lol

          But I'd rather the guys go to a club than hire a dancer at a room or house... not good stories with those from people I know.

          Guys are visual, that makes them excited.

          As for porn, my FI watches, and we watch together as well. But when it comes to be requirement to get excited a relationship has problems (well, he has problems), and also if they prefer to watch porn and do intimate things with you then there's problems too.

          #15 amyblant

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            Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:12 PM

            I hate the idea of it too and think it's a natural feeling. I don't know why this became a ritual of getting married. I think it is pretty contrary to the entire marriage idea. But the good news is that most guys behave themselves and just don't want to look like a wet blanket by not going.

            #16 sunset78

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              Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:12 PM

              Hmmm... can't fix my post. Meant to say strip clubs are not bad. At all of them anyway...lol

              #17 KatyKo

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                Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:26 PM

                I have the same strange feeling when I think about my FI with naked (or half naked) girls on him. I trust that FI has no interest in these girls and I know he is coming home to me, but his friends are very rowdy and most of them don't have girlfriends and don't want their buddies to have them either...they are what worry me.

                My wedding date isn't until June 20, 2009 and FI's brother and friends are already planning his bachelor party...yikes...

                #18 *Casey*

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                  Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:30 PM

                  Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I want to be the only one that excites him. I know it's unrealistic, but I can't help that it totally drives me crazy. When he's in Vegas this weekend, I know that it's the only thing I'll be able to think about.

                  #19 ErinB


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                    Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:40 PM

                    Casey - don't worry. If you over-think the situation, it will just make it worse.

                    I personally have no problems with strip clubs or porn. I am very comfortable with sexuality (unless it gets into weird kinky shit! LOL)

                    For some reason this is a "rite of passage" and you just need to accept and move on.

                    The reality of the situation is that 1) the girls are no where near as pretty to him as you are. I know that the few times Mike has gone, he tells me "You would look so hot in that outfit..."
                    2) Nothing can happen. He can't touch the girls.
                    3) He will probably be extremely drunk. For Mike's BP, all of the guys went to the strip club and he slept in the car. I think he went in for a few minutes, but got bored and left.

                    I can understand that it is a weird feeling, but being accepting makes you that much more in his eyes and in the eyes of his friends.

                    #20 *Lo*

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                      Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:57 PM

                      I totally get where you are coming from Casey! I would feel the same way. I wouldn't say anything to my FI, but I would definitely be where you are. My FI already mentioned his friends here are going to have a big bachelor party for him for sure. They may even do the Vegas thing. It is so far away so I am clearly not worrying about it, but even when he mentions it I change the subject.

                      I don't know why it bothers me but it does. I just keep it to myself though.

                      With respect to the porn issue, I don't really care. I know he views it...especially with us not living in the same city now! If it was like ALL the time and constantly then ya I would probably say something. I just try to make sure that I don't criticize it, make him feel bad about it, or ashamed or embarassed. He was soooo embarassed to admit to me that he checks out some online sites. I just want him to be comfortable talking to me about that stuff. And not hiding it.

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