Strippers at Bachelor Party?

[Island Bride]

Wow Echo- I'm so sorry that happened! I know nothing I say or anyone else say will make your problems disappear but just know were all here for ya!! But no matter what you do dont ever give in and let him (or the guys) convince you, you were wrong in how you reacted! Guys KNOWWWW the consequences they will face when something like this happens yet they do it anyway. Its peer pressure. When guys get together its usual not a good thing!

 

My advice to all you ladies is to have your dads/brothers tag along for this bachelor party and everything will be gravy

[Lady_Di]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Island Bride Wow Echo- I'm so sorry that happened! I know nothing I say or anyone else say will make your problems disappear but just know were all here for ya!! But no matter what you do dont ever give in and let him (or the guys) convince you, you were wrong in how you reacted! Guys KNOWWWW the consequences they will face when something like this happens yet they do it anyway. Its peer pressure. When guys get together its usual not a good thing! My advice to all you ladies is to have your dads/brothers tag along for this bachelor party and everything will be gravy

I don't have any brothers =( My dad isn't the type to attend a bachelor party.

FI's cousin wants to hire like two strippers for his party at his cousin's FI's brother's business place. I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I told him that it was not fair that I told my girls that I didn't want a stripper and he's having some at his party! I don't want to tell him to waht to do but I told him that if i ever hear something and it upsets me then I will leave him and take our dog with me. I totally think strippers are unnecessary. I am fine with him going out and getting wasted. He says going to a strip club will be worse because there are VIP rooms and touching is allowed. He says that strippers going to the party will have bouncers present to make sure touching aren't alowed. I made it clear that he can't touch anyone.

I told him I would do the same to some random dude at my bachelorette party if he got a laptop or a motorboat!

I trust him but he gives in so easily to peer pressure. I just texted his cousin's FI to see if she knows about it and i'm curious what her stance is regarding this since her FI is the only one that is arranging it. I will ask FI what kind strippers they are...i def DO NOT want a topless bartender serving drinks.

[echo2_62]

Yah just an FYI that topless bartender = naked chick (especially if privately hired). The guys casually tried to pass off that she was at least wearing panties but that was basically just to have something on when she arrived.

 

Also, if you hire a stripper to come wherever you are then there likely aren't going to be bouncers there AT ALL to monitor anything. It will be free reign that whatever the guys feel like paying for, they can most likely get.

 

Honestly, if you have genuine concerns about this you need to make it very clear to FI -especially if you already know that he gives in easily to pressure from the other guys. It's totally not worth risking IMO and I can totally relate that you'd take your (ADORABLE) dog and leave if something did happen. I was pretty close to it myself!

[Lady_Di]

Quote:

Originally Posted by echo2_62 Yah just an FYI that topless bartender = naked chick (especially if privately hired). The guys casually tried to pass off that she was at least wearing panties but that was basically just to have something on when she arrived. Also, if you hire a stripper to come wherever you are then there likely aren't going to be bouncers there AT ALL to monitor anything. It will be free reign that whatever the guys feel like paying for, they can most likely get. Honestly, if you have genuine concerns about this you need to make it very clear to FI -especially if you already know that he gives in easily to pressure from the other guys. It's totally not worth risking IMO and I can totally relate that you'd take your (ADORABLE) dog and leave if something did happen. I was pretty close to it myself!

Really? I would think that the girls would want some kind of safety when going to a party with bunch of guys...i don't know unless the hoe is crazy! i definitely will make it clear to him or he'll lose and Bo who he's so attached to!

[echo2_62]

Well it might be different in the US, or the place the guys hired the girl from here was just too small town for anyone to think the girl needed to worry. And I was told that she was "technically" hired as a topless bartender only, but upping the money a little removed the rest of her clothes very quickly. Plus I didn't believe that she was clothed from the second I heard that someone was privately hired.

 

But seriously, this girl totally had a screw loose because she got so drunk that she passed out and the guys had to call her boss to come pick her up. How stupid would you have to be to do that?!?! SO many bad things could have happened to her if it had been a different group of guys.

[Lady_Di]

Omg, are you serious!?? Wow. She could have been raped and other stuff. I can't believe it.

 

I just talked to one of my friends who knows a stripper. I asked her how does a private party with a stripper go? she said it totally depends on the stripper...if she's crazy then she's gonna do crazy stuff. She said they usually dance and give shows to the guys then give a laptop to the groom front of the guys. Play kinky games. Some of them will go far as having sex with guys if money is involved. It entirely depends on the girl.

 

It's not that I don't trust FI...it's the GIRL that I don't trust and his inability to withstand peer pressure. Of course, he won't have sex with the stripper. I know that.

 

I think I need a talk with FI again.

[NyBeachBride]

i didnt get to read all the posts but when it comes to strippers and strip clubs, anything goes!! i been to house stripper parties, strip clubs, and have guys friends who tell me the stories...and when money is flashed in a strippers face, THEY WILL DO ANYTHING!! yes ANYTHING!! ANYTHING GOES! i dont liek the idea that he will have a bachelor party cuz I KNOW they will get him dirty strippers know matter what he says, im not naive, hes a guy and guys are very visual, they get off on that!...so i just told him to do it at least 2 weeks before we leave to DR because i want time to get over it lol i know ill feel in a mood....lol i know that ill just have to trust nothing happened...theres really nothing i can do, and im not goign to say no u cant do this or that cuz it will happen anyways and its not good to be demanding what he cant do because i wouldnt want him to be tellign me i cant do things u know...he should just know where to draw a line...with that said, he bachelor party is this weekend...so im goign to see if i go out as well so im not home thinking about it...i already had my bacherlorette party in vegas which i had tons of fun!! so after this weekend i dont think ill ask him about it, i just want to act liek he never had one in my mind lol...

[echo2_62]

Yah that's basically the kind of stuff that happened at my FI's bach. party... and NY bride is right that once the money comes out, all bets are off. I just knew that my line ended with the lap dances and once the guys convinced him to do that - it was more than enough to put me over the edge. I know none of the guys would have tried to have sex with her, but even my FI said that if someone there had been willing to put up the money for "happy endings" and that sort of thing, the girl would totally have done it.

 

Honestly because of all this I am totally now the wife that WILL say what he can and cannot do because clearly my last attempt at telling people I was uncomfortable was not direct enough to be taken seriously. So this way if he *still* feels some reason to go through with something like this, or if the guys in any way think that its okay to impose another situation like this - the rules are clearly stated!!! I never, ever wanted to be that kind of girl but with this one incident ruining a lot of aspects in my life lately, that's just the way it goes.

 

I'm glad that we had five weeks before our wedding for me to get over it! Basically I told FI that if the wedding had been any sooner then we'd have either been telling everyone not to bother showing up, or we'd have been changing our plans so they weren't involved in any way. I agree there definitely needs to be a buffer zone between the two events!

[NyBeachBride]

ok echo i just read your story, sorry for being late....i cant believe he actually told u the truth!!!! i think he should have known you would be freaking upset DUH!!! im going to tell FI that i dont want to know anything AT ALL!!!! just like when i went to vegas, i told him i didnt want to tell him anything and i didnt....all it would do was cause arguments. i was there wed-sun and he was mad the whole time anyways...lol all well....and i dont want to be mad 2 weeks within my wedding day so i rather not know anything...and i know hes not goign to tell me the truth anyways in details cuz hell know that ill spazz out...ive already told him, just dont have sex or 4 play with her cuz i know her boobs will be in ur face and shell prob give u a lap dance, and he looked at me like who said thats gonan happen, and i was like, come on, im not stupid!! none of his friends are EVEN ENGAGED!! and i dont care if the girl comes to him or they go to the strip club, the same nasty ish can happen either way....u can have sex with a stripper even in a strip club!! as long as u got the cash!! so with that said lol i dont want to know nothing!!!

[echo2_62]

well even though I'm having serious issues dealing with all this stuff, I'm still really glad that FI told me. If he hadn't said anything about it, I would always have been suspicious wondering either which way and for sure my mind can make up a LOT worse anyways. And I'm sure that part of him telling me the truth was to cover his ass in case some details slipped out down the road but as much as he knew he didn't really make the best decision, he at least still knew that it was better to be honest with me about it.

 

And let's just say that there are a number of new RULES in place for dealing with any sort of related event that might come up in the future - including not attending other bachelor parties if another stripper is planned.

 

It just really sucks because I'm *SO* sensitive about the topic still. I had to get up and leave the table the other night when some friends from work (who weren't in any way connected to FI"s weekend) started talking about bach. parties. I just can't handle it! SOOO not the way I wanted to feel when it's this close to the wedding!