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Family Not Supportive of Riviera Maya Wedding

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#21 cougs


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    Posted 08 October 2008 - 06:02 PM

    i agree with what the other ladies have said here ... it's YOUR wedding. only YOU (and your FH) can decide what is in YOUR hearts, and how YOU picture the "perfect" wedding. for us, the fact that WE were paying for it entirely ourselves made all the difference (tho we had to promise some sort of AHR, even if it's a BBQ, to appease our parents after *their* guests lists got cut so drastically, LOL).

    i had the opposite problem ... *everyone* was all gung-ho excited about the idea from the start, and now a lot aren't coming.

    stick to your guns, but be prepared for those you love the most to hurt you the most, and those you least expect, to surprise you with their kindness and thoughtfulness. destination weddings certainly stir up the weirdness in everyone! best of luck to you!

    #22 cendcar

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      Posted 08 October 2008 - 06:59 PM

      F- them...do what you want....just make sure the gov't does not close down your resort 3 weeks before your wedding!

      Sorry, super bitter but seriously...do it on your own if you have to. This is your day!

      #23 JoLo908

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        Posted 08 October 2008 - 10:26 PM

        It's your day lady! Tell them that they should take their advice, nd not have a DW when they have to choose, if they do... but you guys chose this and last time you checked, you two are the ones tying the knot... not Aunt Sally...the best one I heard was "Well, I can't even count on my hands how many tropical storms there are down there" lol.... DO YOUR THING!!! Be happy!

        #24 Myen

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          Posted 08 October 2008 - 10:52 PM

          Originally Posted by sdbtrflygrl
          Thank you girls!

          I needed this tonight. :)

          Myen your Yorkie is so cute...I have one too. He has been trying to cheer me up all night haha.

          Thanks! She's a lot of fun but can be quite a handful sometimes.

          Hope you're felling better about having a DW.

          #25 Maybride2009

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            Posted 08 October 2008 - 11:23 PM

            I am going through a similar situation...mine started THE DAY we got engaged and has continued for 2 months.
            We finally realized that my FI's family isn't going to be happy if they don't get their way so it is our wedding and it is more important that we are happy with our wedding then his family (it is all petty stuff nothing really worth fighting over..they just are irrational)

            So I have developed my wedding B$tch attitude...which is pretty much along the lines of "I'm so sorry you are unhappy about that" and then I drop the subject.

            Please dont second guess yourself. You have the right to have the wedding you want.

            Lots of support here!

            #26 Simistar

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              Posted 09 October 2008 - 01:15 AM

              Originally Posted by sdbtrflygrl

              I have decided to start telling everyone how it is...haha. Even at work I have been saying it how it is today...

              Simistar we might be giving SMB another try for our honeymoon. :)

              My FI loved it so much he can't wait to go back! I can't wait to see your pictures...
              You go girl!

              And my gawd, you were SO super generous with YOUR pictures, I am MORE than happy to share mine...when we have them:-)

              #27 cdc0427

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                Posted 12 October 2008 - 08:49 PM

                Hey, I just came across this today. I'm glad that you have decided to go along with this.

                I had the same response, when my FI told his mother, the first thing she said was "That's Crazy". Not "I'm glad you're getting married", "Congratulations", or anything like that. "That's Crazy" is all she said. He and his mother really got into it over that. He said he doesn't even want her to come to the wedding. I'm sure he'll change his mind.

                My whole thought is thought is that we have been together 11 years, three kids down the line and no one is contributing to the cost of the wedding. Who has 10s of thousands of dollars to have a big wedding at home to accomodate people here who are only going to criticize what you do anyway.

                We were conscience of the resort we chose to accomodate everyones budget (under $1000 total).

                And on top of that, we are giving everyone over a year to plan and pay for it. Anyone who really wants to be there to share your wedding day with you will be there. If they're not there, they didn't want to be there anyway. Grant it, we know that some people will not be able to come but we know who's sincere and who's not.

                Screw those negative people!!!!

                #28 sdbtrflygrl

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                  Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:39 PM

                  It is pretty crazy how much people spend on weddings at home...

                  I am so excited! We finally have a date/place. :)

                  I agree...as long as you are conscious of your guests and keep it somewhat reasonable and give them time to plan/save then it is their decision if they come or not!

                  #29 ~*~Margie~*~

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                    Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:04 PM

                    Hi - like all the other girls I just wanted to say, I CAN RELATE and I am glad to see you are sticking to your guns. I got engaged in June '08 and though a DW wasn't my first choice, my FI tried to sell me on the idea and when my two best friends said they would go, I was sold. When it was just an "idea" family and friends seemed excited but when it became real, the complaining began. My FIL's have already stated their intention not to go, they said they cannot afford it. 4 months later, deposits made and people booking and FMIL is STILL trying to talk me out of it, now saying that she is thinking of us because of the financial problems we are having. I have agonized over it, cried over, changed my mind a thousand times and begged FI to change his and he said this of his parents "If we give in and do what they want because they guilted us, they will think they can guilt us into doing what they want on other things for the rest of our lives." And he's right. I cannot give that kind of control to anyone. So, my wedding that would have been well over 100 if we had it at home is now only 10 people (including FI and I). People that said they would come (including my maid of honor) now cannot go due to timing or money and a couple people that I didn't expect to come have already booked or are working on saving up to book. Ultimately, going with what you want is the right decision so you will never have to look back and wonder "what if".

                    #30 Mel&B

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                      Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:31 PM

                      This thread has been refreshing for me. Now I know I am not the only one dealing with these issues. To be fair, most of my friends have been so supportive and sweet- same with our parents. I don't think we will have too many other family members there (aunts, uncles, etc not on board), but a lot of my parents friends have been wonderful and want to come. A few of my FI's friends have said hurtful things, and they are the exact people we thought would jump on board right away! It's weird to watch everything unfold and to see the people we thought would be most supportive moan and complain. I am not worried though, because the people that want to be there will be there, and everything is going to be fabulous!

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