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Symptoms of "Cold Feet"???

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#1 MonoAmor

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    Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:01 AM

    Hey Ladies,

    Im wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and can share some wisdom! My fiance and I have been together for a couple years and have gotten along great the whole time. However, now that its getting closer to the wedding I feel like the stress is getting between us. When we first got engaged, he was so excited and picked a date for the wedding and was always talking about it. Now he doesnt want to have any conversations regarding the wedding and will walk out of the room if I mention anything. He says the whole thing is stressing him out too much and I should just not worry about it either. This got even worse when our resort (Dreams Tulum) was closed down last week. With only a month to go, no resort as of right now, no answers, and a shut-off groom, Im really not looking forward to the wedding. We are already common law and I was fine just the two of us eloping to begin with. He was the one who wanted to invite the guests. Now I feel like Im left alone figuring this all out on my own and that the vacation will be a let down to our guests. It bugs me because I read about lots of other brides on here that are so excited and it makes me feel like I should be too. Did anyone else feel like they were disappointed and not looking forward to their own wedding? Does it go away once you actually get to the destination? I hope this feeling goes away! Thanks for listening!!!

    #2 trance_angelx0x

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      Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:42 PM

      I think this is something a lot of destination brides go through. It is still a stressful event, though I would venture out and say it's less stressful than having a wedding at home.

      I really hope things work out for you. I have a great TA if you need help, they specialize in destination weddings and go out of their way (and I mean wayyyy out of their way) to help you out.

      big hug.

      #3 Kat81

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        Posted 06 October 2008 - 01:11 PM

        I went through the same thing. Ryan wouldn't walk out of the room but just talking about it with him stressed him out. It wasn't that he wasn't excited, guys just handle things differently. Is it fair? No. But it is a fact so for the sake of you both if it doesn't require his input leave him out of it. Then if he wants to bitch about it later you can play the well you should have been more involved card. Just hang in there. It will be ok and your wedding will be amazing.

        #4 JHarwood2Be

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          Posted 06 October 2008 - 01:23 PM

          This situation would be difficult without the added stress of the resort being shut down.
          I think you just have to ask him. It is better to get everything out in the open now. It may be nothing, that he really is stressed out by planning such an event. But it doesn't make it fair to you, to have to deal with making arrangements alone. Best of luck to you!
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          #5 JHarwood2Be

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            Posted 06 October 2008 - 01:24 PM

            Good advice Kat!
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            #6 Jen_S

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              Posted 06 October 2008 - 03:59 PM

              I think you should tell him how it makes you feel. One word of advise someone told Kyle was don't talk about the wedding all the time bc by the time you get married you will have nothing to talk about. Throughout the planning we could just "not" tallk about the wedding and if we did he does not recall the conversation so now I say we have a IMPORTANT decision to make. Hope this helps sorry your going through it.
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              #7 Kelly C

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                Posted 06 October 2008 - 04:09 PM

                I think they all do this is one form or another. We went through this alittle. Mine decided he had an opinion on everything, do just the oppisite. Now he has gotten his GM gifts and if he does go this week they are not getting anything. I'm on stirke. I tried and got shut down on my ideas. So just give it time....I can't wait just to be on the beach relax with a drink!
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                #8 DanielleNDerek

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                  Posted 06 October 2008 - 04:32 PM

                  Does he usually shut down when he's stressed out? I wouldnt take it personally. Guys dont like to talk about problems they like to let them stew.
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                  #9 Hartyt509

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                    Posted 06 October 2008 - 04:38 PM

                    Mine did the same - I was trying to get the basics sorted and he was like i'm sicking of talking about this all the time!! I said I hardly bloody see you if you were here it would be one a week now I have to save it up lol

                    I had a proper stress out on him and said right i'm doing jack shit this is what YOU want not me so you bloody sort it lol He started to try and be helpful after that lol

                    Just ignore him and like Kat says if he whines get him told lol It'll fine its just stressful at the mo once its over you will be god I got worked up over that why lol

                    #10 kate.com


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                      Posted 06 October 2008 - 04:44 PM

                      well, it is crappy and good for you to vent on here! The beauty about a DW is you could show up with what you are going to wear and everything will work out. And as you probably figured out by now, not much gets done with the WC before you get there anyways... Landy is too busy dealing with everyone elses weddings! Try to let go a little and have faith. It would be beautiful without flowers or decorations!
                      Work on you and him. Spend time together. Spend a night not thinking/talking about the wedding. But also let him know how he is making you feel. He should know.
                      Good luck!

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