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'Alternative' Registries - Matter of Opinion?

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#1 chickadee024

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    Posted 03 October 2008 - 06:08 PM

    Hello ladies!

    It seems that I am somewhat of a stickler on a certain registry issue that came up today, so I thought I'd ask for your opinions on the matter. Warning - might be long.

    A few of the women at work and I are planning a power shower for a (guy) co-worker who is getting married on the 18th. We are planning to do the cake and food, music, decorations and gifts. The couple has registered at the standard places - BBB, L&T, C&B, Macys - but the ladies have mentioned several times getting him a gift certificate to Dick's Sporting Goods. Because he likes golf, and the bride wouldn't let him register at Dicks. They wanted to make sure that he got something for himself.

    Now, I had a similar issue when FI and I did our registry. We registered at BBB for household stuff and at Target for camping gear. The FILs wanted us to register at Cabelas (hunting & fishing store) so that he could register for a hunting vest. He also wanted to register for an expensive razor at BBB, which I vetoed. He made the argument that we had been registering for stuff that I wanted, and that he would like to have something that he wanted.....to which I responded that the sheets and towels and dishes weren't just for me. If we were playing that game, I wanted to be registered at Sephora.

    The women today also said that, "the wedding is all for her anyways." I don't think so. It's for both of them, and the family and wedding guests. The responsibility for planning has been left up to her, and all the stress that goes with it. So what if she gets to pick the color of the towels? They're both using them! I would be happy to get something they would both use!

    Am I alone feeling this way? Did any of you girls let the dudes register for guy-specific stuff? Did you then register for girl-specific stuff? Am I just being too stingy/traditional/rigid?

    #2 Maura


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    Posted 03 October 2008 - 06:16 PM

    i let my husband register for stupid guy shit like a new electric razor and a new electric toothbrush at BBB - but nobody bought it for him. i will probably buy him those things for christmas, because everytime we got a gift in the mail, he'd say "we got another gift for you today" - as if he didnt help pick anything else out on the registry or like he didnt want the rest of the stuff we got.

    we registered for stuff that he bitched about being "girl stuff" but that i now catch him using, like a bathroom scale for example.

    i see no problem in getting him a gift for him though. maybe you can also get something small from their registry that is for both of them rather than solely a gift for him?

    #3 cougs


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      Posted 03 October 2008 - 06:27 PM

      i agree with the OP that wedding stuff is for both of you, but if you are having a work shower for the guy in the couple, i don't see any reason why the gift from work couldn't be something more guy-oriented. i think it's kinda fun, and will probably not make him feel "gay" for having a "shower." also, at baby showers, i usually like to get something that is solely for the "mom" aside from all the stuff that is really for the baby.

      tom registered for some more guy oriented stuff like his expensive razor, a big cooler on wheels (ok truth be told i wanted that too LOL), and some movies/games (since we registered at target). don't know if anyone will buy any of that stuff, but it doesn't hurt anyone for it to be on the registry.

      honestly, he's the one who does all the cooking in our house, so almost all the kitchen stuff on the registry is really for him LOL!

      #4 Anna83

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        Posted 03 October 2008 - 08:24 PM

        We haven't registered yet, but I agree. Just because you picked out the towels or bed sheets doesn't mean they are for you alone. He sleeps on the sheets too.
        You could try to get your co-worker a more "manly" gift, but shouldn't wedding gifts be for the couple? To me, the point of a shower is to help a new couple fill their home with the things they need.

        The woman does do most of planning and has the most stress, she deserves to pick the towels!

        #5 petunia

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          Posted 04 October 2008 - 09:50 AM

          I rarely see any personal use items on a registry for either a bride or groom. These would be shavers, tooth brushes, callous removers, hunting vests or dancing shoes. I don't think those things are appropriate for the "spirit" of a shower.

          However, I have seen couples register for things that typically would be more appealing to the guy. Register at Home Depot or Lowes for tools and other home maintenance items such as yard care. Register at electronics stores for home entertainment. Register for outdoor entertaining, grilling items, outdoor bar.

          We'll be close to retirement when we get married. John asked if I was going to be having a shower because we should register at CVS and put things like denture care items, Viagra and Depends on our list. Funny guy, huh?

          #6 chickadee024

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            Posted 07 October 2008 - 09:02 AM

            Well, the shower was yesterday and it was a big success! The groom was very surprised and thankful.

            I ended up getting their turkey-roasting pan off their BBB registry. He was thrilled - turns out that he does most of their cooking. Yay!

            Thanks for the opinions!

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