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My youngest sister has passed...I want to cancel ceremony


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#81 bride2010

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    Posted 15 October 2008 - 08:40 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I think you should just give it some time before you go ahead and make a decision. Either way, I'm sure your friends and family will support you. You will be in my prayers.
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    #82 JBinjour

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      Posted 15 October 2008 - 09:23 PM

      I am sorry for your lost. I hope you and your family find peace in the situation. Your sister is with you everyday throughout your thoughts and memories of her. You should take a moment and reevaluate the situation. If you don't feel like going through the wedding, you can always postpone the situation. Everyone should understand the situtation and accommodate you as much as possible.
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      #83 Bramble2B

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        Posted 16 October 2008 - 10:48 AM

        I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure it's still a very difficult time for you and your family. Only you and your FI can decide how you feel and know that whatever you choose to do, it's okay and it's YOUR choice. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Please be strengthened and encouraged during this time.

        #84 Indigo

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          Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:53 AM

          I would like to thank everyone for your words of love and condolences. I am happy that I found this site during my wedding planning because all of you ladies are such wonderful people. It is the abundance of love that my family has received from family and friends (like yourselves) that is helping us get through. I don't expect life to return to normal for awhile. I take one day at a time.

          As for my wedding in December...my mom told me "I better not cancel it". She sees it as an opportunity to celebrate "what's good in life". My FI feels we should move forward as well. He has taken over the planning phase because I really haven’t been in the mood to call vendors or order items. He actually picked up the phone and called Keneika (RMB WC) to find out what needs to be done and what had been accomplished already.

          The wedding party will be very small (probably less than 15) because my sister did not have insurance when she passed so the family pulled our financial resources together to bury my sister with love. My mom still wants us to move forward with it though. I had mentioned webcam-ing the wedding months ago…my mom brought the subject back up. And, my FI will look into webcam-ing the ceremony for family that can not attend.

          As suggested by some of you wonderful ladies, I have been thinking about setting up a memorial for my sister, my FI mom and my dad at the wedding. I will do a search and look at some of the ideas that past BDW brides have done.

          Again, thank you soooo much.

          Indigo

          #85 boscobel

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            Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:58 AM

            Oh, that's great news, Indigo! Your family sounds like you are all pulling together and supporting each other where needed during such a difficult time.

            I am happy that you will continue on with your wedding cuz I agree that you should all celebrate the good.

            #86 2bebridejamaica

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              Posted 16 October 2008 - 12:00 PM

              Indigo, I am soooo proud of you right now... I am in happy loving tears right now reading your words... WOW.. this really got to me... I am happy your family esepc your mom let you know you have a reason to celebrate - life is good! Your sister is with you always.

              #87 cdc0427

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                Posted 16 October 2008 - 12:16 PM

                Indigo, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. I'm sure you may be still numb of the loss. As I read everyone's comments, I was thinking of what my advise to you would be. Because I've never lost a sibling, I could not put myself in your shoes.
                However, I am a funeral director who deals with death all the time. My suggestions are that you take the next few weeks and give yourself some time to relax and deal with your sisters death the way you desire. Basically, just give yourself some time without any stress.

                How much more do you have to do for your wedding? Don't think that you have to do it by yourself. I'm sure you have friends that will assist you and if minor things don't get done, it will be quite alright.

                Indigo, you are grieving, what you are feeling is completely understandable. but I do believe you should go ahead with the wedding. It will be good for you and your family to take that break. Just recently, I've seen in memory candles that you can personalize for your sister. I love the idea of having a moment of silence for her. Maybe while that moment of silence is taking place, you can be lighting the candle for her and playing a specific song in her honor.


                I'll be thinking about other ideas you can do as well.

                -Cachet

                #88 cdc0427

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                  Posted 16 October 2008 - 12:20 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Indigo
                  I would like to thank everyone for your words of love and condolences. I am happy that I found this site during my wedding planning because all of you ladies are such wonderful people. It is the abundance of love that my family has received from family and friends (like yourselves) that is helping us get through. I don't expect life to return to normal for awhile. I take one day at a time.

                  As for my wedding in December...my mom told me "I better not cancel it". She sees it as an opportunity to celebrate "what's good in life". My FI feels we should move forward as well. He has taken over the planning phase because I really haven’t been in the mood to call vendors or order items. He actually picked up the phone and called Keneika (RMB WC) to find out what needs to be done and what had been accomplished already.

                  The wedding party will be very small (probably less than 15) because my sister did not have insurance when she passed so the family pulled our financial resources together to bury my sister with love. My mom still wants us to move forward with it though. I had mentioned webcam-ing the wedding months ago…my mom brought the subject back up. And, my FI will look into webcam-ing the ceremony for family that can not attend.

                  As suggested by some of you wonderful ladies, I have been thinking about setting up a memorial for my sister, my FI mom and my dad at the wedding. I will do a search and look at some of the ideas that past BDW brides have done.

                  Again, thank you soooo much.

                  Indigo

                  Sorry, when I sent the original message, I hadn't read the most recent ones. I'm so glad you are continuing with the wedding.

                  #89 Indigo

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                    Posted 16 October 2008 - 12:30 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by cdc0427
                    Indigo, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. I'm sure you may be still numb of the loss. As I read everyone's comments, I was thinking of what my advise to you would be. Because I've never lost a sibling, I could not put myself in your shoes.
                    However, I am a funeral director who deals with death all the time. My suggestions are that you take the next few weeks and give yourself some time to relax and deal with your sisters death the way you desire. Basically, just give yourself some time without any stress.

                    How much more do you have to do for your wedding? Don't think that you have to do it by yourself. I'm sure you have friends that will assist you and if minor things don't get done, it will be quite alright.

                    Indigo, you are grieving, what you are feeling is completely understandable. but I do believe you should go ahead with the wedding. It will be good for you and your family to take that break. Just recently, I've seen in memory candles that you can personalize for your sister. I love the idea of having a moment of silence for her. Maybe while that moment of silence is taking place, you can be lighting the candle for her and playing a specific song in her honor.


                    I'll be thinking about other ideas you can do as well.

                    -Cachet

                    Thank you Cachet. Do you know where I can purchase personalized memory candles?

                    #90 NJ_bride

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                      Posted 16 October 2008 - 04:29 PM

                      Hi Indigo! I think this site has memorial candles and vases:

                      Personalized Memorial Candles and Vases - Exclusively Weddings

                      Hope this helps. You are in my thoughts.




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