Posted 27 September 2008 - 01:46 PM
FI and I are getting married in the city next summer. We're doing all this planning long distance because we cannot afford to go down there before the wedding (about $1000 CAD per person).
Both of our families are from that area. FI's aunts and cousins live there, my parents live there. No one is really offering any help. Both FI's mother and sister have gone down there to visit this summer past and offered some help, but we were still in the planning stages, so there wasn't really anything they could do. Plus we didn't trust them to do the tasks we assigned while they were on holiday (they probably wouldn't make it a priority while on holiday).
FI's side of the family does not live in the city, they live an hour outside of the city in a pretty rural area where the entire community gets together for a wedding. Hence the reason we're having it in the city, I don't want all those people at my wedding for a "free party".
FMIL knows that we're using city vendors for our wedding, FI has told her this on several occasions and I keep telling her the exact name of the vendors we're using in the city.
BUT, FMIL keeps telling me about her "friends" that do wedding stuff in the rural area, and today she sent me Facebook group invites to these rural wedding vendors. One of them being a catering company (we've had our caterer booked for over 2 months now), and the other being a decorator/cake designer/florist.
UGH. I'm ready to scream because she just doesn't get it! I know she's trying to be helpful, but she's not hearing that we're using city vendors and we've got just about everything booked! She doesn't really listen to anything we say about anything, it's like she's got blinders on or something.
Thank god she's not paying for anything, I can totally see where that would go!
Sorry, I just have to rant and get this off my chest before I blow up!
Posted 27 September 2008 - 01:56 PM
Posted 27 September 2008 - 02:00 PM
Posted 27 September 2008 - 06:34 PM
She is trying to break you into giving in so she can do what SHE wants. I think you're already being accommodating by having the wedding close to where they live. At the end of the day you don't live there so they should be grateful you are saving them the travel!
My cousins (who are my only family left) whined about how we were going so far away and it would cost too much. My response thats a shame here have your kid back its filled its nappy lol
I'd block her from facebook 2 lmao
Posted 27 September 2008 - 06:38 PM
Posted 29 September 2008 - 12:35 AM
Thanks everyone for the suggestions, I'm really not sure what tasks I can give her at this point to occupy her time. We have very different tastes in everything so I don't trust her opinion on anything.
But I'll have to find something to keep her busy. Any suggestions?
BTW, my FMIL & her partner and my FSIL live in the same town I do (here on the west end of the country), and my sister lives out west (different province though), but everyone else lives back east.
Posted 29 September 2008 - 11:10 PM
Posted 11 April 2009 - 02:09 AM
It's now 2 months until the wedding, and my parents have agreed to pay for the flowers (which is awesome) and this is their big involvement in the wedding. This was totally unprovoked too, they came right out of the blue and agreed to take care of this for us. When we told FI's mom, she said she would have paid for the flowers if we had asked her. We're not going to ask for help, but we'll take it if it's offered to us.
Nearly everything is taken care of but transportation. I have no idea how FI's family is getting to the venue, they're spread out all over the place and they are notoriously late.
FI suggested I talk to his mom about this. FMIL has back problems and is off work for a few months until she's better, so she's got lots of time on her hands. I went over there with my laptop to show her all the things that I've done so far and what's left to do, and a list of limo companies. I told her I was concerned about how everyone was getting to the venue the day of, and all she kept doing was telling me about people FI knew like 20+ years ago from elementary school that might have classic cars for rent. She did not volunteer to call up people and ask around about prices! And then she told me not to worry about everyone getting there because someone will drive them. She totally missed the point, but I'm not going to tell her she needs to call around so we can all get a ride to the wedding. Ugh.
Also, a coworker of FI's really wanted to come to our wedding down east but now has to back out because his son is getting married. He felt so bad about it, he's decided to throw us an AHR!! When FI told his mom, she said "oh yeah, I was thinking about doing something like that". Kind of a bit late now, dontcha think?
This is also the same woman who offered to host a shower for me, then 2 wks later took that back because she said "she didn't know any of my friends here and wouldn't know who to invite". It didn't occur to her to ask me who should be invited, so she takes back her offer.
HELP! How can we deal with a woman who claims she wants to help, but doesn't want to pay for anything and doesn't want to plan any of the "boring details"
It's almost like she's waiting to surprise us with something, but I don't like surprises
Posted 11 April 2009 - 09:40 AM
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