We need a sub-forum just for family problems... (Warning: LONG!)
Posted 26 September 2008 - 04:31 PM
Posted 26 September 2008 - 04:33 PM
| Originally Posted by Hartyt509 |
Ok how about I get a flight straight from Newcastle to Toronto and take my parachute and bail out over newfoundland lol I'll come prepared with my knuckle dusters etc lmao
Posted 26 September 2008 - 04:40 PM
EDIT: I was just reading back a bit and saw that you emailed them an ultimatum. Good for you! I also forgot to mention that the fact that this has caused you serious health issues is appalling and in my mind means you have no choice but to cut them off, your health comes before a crappy parental relationship.
Posted 26 September 2008 - 04:46 PM
Posted 26 September 2008 - 08:05 PM
Posted 27 September 2008 - 01:02 PM
Posted 27 September 2008 - 01:54 PM
| Originally Posted by FutureMrsLewis |
Alright, here we go... I had a message left on my phone this morning from my oldest sister telling me that she heard from Mom and she's VERY upset. Instead of calling me and clearing things up, she called Tanya, crying her heart out, and Tanya got up and drove in town (1 1/2 hrs away) so she could call me from our cousin's house. On the message, she told me I have 24 hours to call my parents or else she's coming over. I'm not 15!! I'll be 23 in a couple of months, or should I say 33, because I'm definitely more mature than a 23 year old. I just don't understand why they couldn't have called me instead of bringing my sister in to all of this. I'm so mad right now, I could seriously scream! The point of my letter was to tell them that I was hurt and something had to change so they'd realize what they're doing to me, not to make things worse.
Posted 27 September 2008 - 02:08 PM
| Originally Posted by LALA |
You need to call your sister and tell her this is between you and your parents. She is not involved and you will not speak to her about it. She can come to your house and sit on the front steps all day if she wants. It doesn't involve her.
Posted 27 September 2008 - 03:35 PM
The definition of insanity is treating someone the same way and expecting different results.
You have tried being nice, kind and caring and your parents haven't changed, obviously continuing to act that way is not going to change the situation. If you want a different result, you have to do what you have done, act differently. You may not get the result you want (which is a good relationship with your family) but you will know where you stand. And you will stay healthy.
If you do talk to them, sometimes it helps to reflect their actions back to them....Instead of "I don't like how you treat me and my FI, you're not nice". Try, "It's obvious my relationship upsets you and I don't want to hurt you, therefore it would be better for me to not hurt you anymore by staying away, and then you can be happy"....It's harder to argue with that (you are the one making the sacrifice for their happiness!!!)....find a few phrases like that and write them down and repeat them over and over again in the conversation. Don't let them get you to react, that is what they want: a reaction, the less you react the less they get what they want which is control.
If they can't talk rationally, let them know you certainly don't want to upset them anymore and will hang up and if they want to work on this to please call. Again, Do not react, that is what they want...stay calm and remember if you get angry, cry etc, they have control...
Good Luck, I have some family right now dealing with this kind of issue...when they finally put their foot down, it was really hard, but even though they may never have contact with the others again, a huge weight is gone and they are smiling again.
Posted 27 September 2008 - 04:07 PM
| Originally Posted by Tropical Imaging |
Do not react, that is what they want...stay calm and remember if you get angry, cry etc, they have control...
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