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The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise

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10 replies to this topic

#1 ErinB


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    Posted 23 September 2008 - 02:24 PM

    The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
    I do physical labor.
    I work at great depths.
    I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
    I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
    I work in a damp environment.
    I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    I work in high temperatures.
    My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

    P. Niss

    The Response

    Dear Penis:
    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
    You do not work 8 hours straight.
    You fall asleep after brief work periods.
    You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
    You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
    You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
    You will retire well before you are 65.
    You are unable to work double shifts.
    You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
    And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

    V. Gina

    #2 Alyssa

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      Posted 23 September 2008 - 02:26 PM

      i love it!!!! hahah sending to DH now ;0

      #3 BachataBride

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        Posted 23 September 2008 - 02:27 PM

        LMAO!!! So funny!!!

        #4 azhuskergirl

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          Posted 23 September 2008 - 02:29 PM

          that made me giggle. Thanks!

          #5 becks



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            Posted 23 September 2008 - 02:58 PM

            Hmmm. I think I'll hold off e-mailing that to anyone from my work e-mail.

            But when I get home, all bets are off!

            Happily married since 2008

            Allurements by Rebecca - Destination Wedding Invitations and more

            #6 JUSTUSTWO


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              Posted 23 September 2008 - 03:07 PM


              #7 *Casey*

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                Posted 23 September 2008 - 03:13 PM

                That's too funny!

                #8 JaimeLynne

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                  Posted 23 September 2008 - 04:02 PM

                  lol, I sent that one out to my mailing list

                  ~ Jaime & Martin ~
                  "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

                  We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

                  We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!

                  #9 FoxyBride

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                    Posted 23 September 2008 - 04:03 PM

                    I like the part about "two suspicious bags" LMAO!

                    #10 ~Debra~

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                      Posted 23 September 2008 - 04:50 PM

                      That's funny!

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