MOH Got Drunk at Stag and Doe

[Becksy]

Our Stag and Doe was last night and my MOH and I got in a fight because she was hammered... I'll start from the beginning.

 

My MOH, FI and I have been planning our Stag and Doe for the last 3 months and have put a lot of work into it. Originally my FI and I were not to have anything to do with the planning, but when my MOH asked for help we were more than happy to help as we know how hard it can be to plan an event like this all by yourself. But then, the three days leading up to the event, my FI got all stressed out and started snapping at me and getting angry about everything. So I talked to my MOH yesterday at the hall as we were setting up, I said I know things never go as planned (no matter how much planning you do), but I didn't care. I thanked her for everything she as done for us so far and told her that I loved her like a sister (it was a very nice moment). The only thing I asked of her was to make sure that my FI didn't do any of the planning or organizing during the Stag and Doe (I didn't care if I had to do anything, I like doing that sort of thing), I wanted to make sure he had fun. She assured me that she would have everything under control. She had all the volunteers lined up, she had the schedule of events and she wasn't going to drink to make sure everything ran smoothly.

 

Well... she started her period so she took some pills just before leaving for the event. Then as soon as she got there she started drinking. Within an hour she was hammered and all the planning was left to my FI and I. I personally didn't care, but my FI was so mad! I tried to take care of as much as I could, but for some reason everyone was asking my FI about everything... when are the games going to start, where's the money, who's selling the raffle tickets, where's the DJ, where's the food, etc, etc, etc. Needless to say his stress levels where going through the roof and he stopped drinking to organize things (which made matters worse, because he was really hoping to get stinking drunk).

 

So at the end of the night, when it was time for clean up, she was up dancing and enjoying herself and my FI was steaming mad. My FI and I were at the back of the room talking (I was trying to defuse him), when he said that he need some fresh air, he turned his back to me and walked out abruptly. My MOH saw this and thought we were fighting and ran to the back of the room and started asking me "What's wrong? Did you and Marty have a fight? Oh my god you can tell me what's going on?" And on and on and on. I just kept telling her "No everything’s ok, Marty and I did not have a fight, we are fine, please leave it alone." She had put so much into the planning of the night and I was so thankful for her help, I didn't want to spoil it... But she wouldn't leave it alone... so out of frustration I told her that I was a little disappointed with the way some of the nights events went. And now she is pissed off with me.

 

My FI and I were up at 8:30am this morning because we were so upset about this, we really didn't want to hurt her, and talked about it all morning. I called her at noon today and she was still in bed, hung-over (which kind of put a little salt in our wound). I asked her if we could get together, because I was a little upset with the way we left things last night. She was talking to me like there was nothing wrong. We are getting together at 5:00pm tonight; I hope we can work things out. I really did appreciate everything she has done for us and she really is a good friend. I really hope this doesn't hurt our friendship.

[Michelle]

oh wow sounds like a rough situation because you dont want to hurt your FI or MOH....but honestly i would get a little upset with your MOH and just let her know that if she wanted to get really drunk and have fun to have just been honest and upfront or atleast not try act like she did nothing wrong by doing this..if she is going to plan a whole event for you thats so sweet and generous of her its just not fair to dump everything on you and FI at the actual event when you should be the two getting drunk and having fun....honestly i think there are times in friendships to be nice and candy coat things but i would just let her know that she did hurt you and that what she did was really not a fair thing at all and maybe if she can try get her to talk to your FI and apologize for ruining his night

[Tara]

Awe, I wouldn't stress over it. If she truly is a best friend she will realize that it was a combination of both her own actions and yours that caused the spat and I'm sure you can both put it behind you. I'm sure the hangover probably brought he screaching down to the earth today and she'll come around. I can also understand how your Fi was upset. Communication is key. Get it out in the open and the wind will blow it away.

[tvt]

I would be upset with your MOH too. But if she was really that drunk she might not even remember your conversation at the end of the night.

 

did you two talk? how did it go?

[Becksy]

I went over to my MOH's house last night after supper and appologized for what I said and then thanked her for everything she did for us. She said not to worry about it and started to talk to me like nothing happend.

 

My FI was shocked that she was still hung-over and suggested that maybe she doesn't even remember what happend. Either way, I don't care. I'm glad I talked to her about it right away and that she isn't mad at me. I can go back to being excited for the wedding.

 

Thanks for listening, it was just good to get it off my chest.

[*Casey*]

Might be a stupid question... but... what's a Stag and Doe?

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Case*a*licious Might be a stupid question... but... what's a Stag and Doe?

It is a Canadian tradition I think. Where family and friends come and celebrate with you and there are games and raffles. To make money for the couple. I think it is kinda a form of engagement party/bach party?? I could be wrong that is just what I have gathered from this forum and my Canadian husband.

[sunset78]

Yeah, it's a combined bachelor and bachelorette party that is a fundrasier for the bride and groom. Guests purchase tickets to go, and they have draws, games, etc. Food and drinks are served too.

[BachataBride]

I'm glad that you two are all good now. I have a question though?? Did she apologize for getting drunk & leaving everything up to you & your FI? Especially after you told her he didn't want anything to do with it. IMHO I think you're letting her get off easy. I would expect an apology.

[sunset78]

I don't understand why you had to apologize to her when she was the one that dumped everything on to you guys that night instead of taking responsibility like she said she was going to do that night