Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
dainanewell

My FI said he doesn't want to get married....and our wedding is in less than 3 months

Recommended Posts

I am very sorry to hear this is happening to you. Hopefully tomorrow you will have a fresh view of what the hell is happening. I know my husbands business failed right before we got married so he was terrified about money so we moved it local. Stay strong and do what feels right!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Glad to read that he has talked some with you. He needs to be doing more of it.

 

Speaking from personal experience, losing your job puts you through an emotional ringer and you become a huge a-hole to the people around you for no good reason. Let's hope this is the case. Have you tried helping him with his job search and asking him what he needs from you to work thorugh this as a family? I know once I got job searching and found a new job, I had a whole heck of alot of apologizing to do to my FI for the nasty stuff I said when I was so depressed over being jobless and terrified of losing our home.

 

If by chance this is not a result of the job loss, a bit of advice along with what some of the other ladies said, have him leave the house. Not to be negative, just realistic, if you leave and he decides to change the locks, what then? You and your kids are stuck out on the street. It happened a few weeks ago to my sister, who is in the process of ending a bad marriage. She first had him leave, he came back a few days later, started in on her again to the point she couldn't take it anymore, then she and the kids left to stay with my parents for a few days while he was supposedly moving out. When she came back, all her stuff was outside and the locks changed. She now has to wait for the courts to decide who gets the house and custody even though the kids are with her.

 

Be wise about all this, he can't leave you in limbo and I pray that he is just going through a bad time because of his job loss and this is going to work out for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, let me just say that I am SO, SO sorry you're going through this right now.

 

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, but you need to sit down with FI and really talk to him - make him tell you what's going on in his head. Ask the kinds of questions to get him to really talk to you - the sorts of questions where you don't give him possible answers but actually probe into his thoughts and feelings.

 

I'm hoping (so very much) that it's a panicky-cold-feet-lost-my-job reaction, and that it will pass.

 

But, in the interim, you DON'T leave. If someone has to go it's him. And frankly, until he gets this straightened out, I'd also have him sleep on the couch/guest room. It's no fair to you to have him tell you he doesn't want to marry you and then come join you in bed. That's just too much of an emotional roller coaster.

 

Stay strong, and let us know how we can help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's a really good sign that he doesn't want you to tell your parents yet. It's like he's saying that he's not totally and absolutely sure about what his heart really wants. I really think that he'll come around with time and be more willing to talk to you about how he really feels. Just be loving towards him and stay strong. My thoughts are with you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry your going through this. It sounds like he's going through a rough time right now and maybe depressed. But he should talk to you about it. That's not fair to you for him to say he doesnt want to get married but offer no explanation as of why. Have you thought about going to couples counseling? I heard it's really helpful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Glad to hear that you got to talk a little. Did he come back so you guys could finish the conversation? I agree with the other ladies, you definitely shouldn't be the one to leave. He should make other arrangments if he needs any time to think or be alone. Hopefully you guys are able to talk and you get some answers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • SUN-IMPERIAL Fashion IS AN ONLINE  WOMEN'S FASHION STORE FOR YOUNG WOMEN WHO LOVE AND LIVE FASHION. Our collection reflects the latest trends in trendy urban fashion. we offer our loyal costumers unique items that have been hand picked by our professional team of stylists in an affordable price. In sun-imperial you will find the top fashion trends and a stylish item for every occasion from casual to fancy looks. Come in and explore our trendy urban clothing, stylish street wear collection.
    • Looking for the best venue for wedding and Wedding related events Book the best Banquet Hall in West Delhi - Symphony Banquets. For all types of Social as well as corporate events with In-House Catering service and luxurious ambiance to make every event a memorable one.  
    • Hundreds of years before, the basic jewellery were made out of seashells and bone, trees and animal skin. In the ancient times, the Egyptian jewellery first came into existence. Egyptian culture inhabited technology, gemstones, and precious metals early in comparison to other places. They were inspired by the culture of royalty and aristocracy which led to thinking noble like having a deep appreciation for luxury. This made them create impactful jewellery and leading trends. Copper was the first metal that came into existence through which we as humans got so many jewellery items.  However, the major focus on jewellery came when they discovered gold. This allowed the Egyptian to rule as the first jewellery maker. The ancient Egyptians valued adornment and were worn by both men and women.  Material and metals: The plethora of material which was used in the making of this Egyptian jewellery was basically gold and silver. Egyptian has mostly attracted towards gold and the availability of silver was less in Egypt as compared to any other place. The colour variation was due to the mixing of elements such as alloys like copper, iron, silver into gold.  Charm jewellery: It was then also an interesting concept to have charms in necklaces, bracelets and other jewellery items. It’s just they were made up of stones and precious or semi-precious jewellery. In this picture above the necklace is adorned with precious stones in different charms shapes. Gem and stones: The more royal pieces of Egyptian jewellery were adorned with the precious jewellery items. The gemstones were semi-precious stones, precious stones are other various gems. The most prized stone were lapis lazuli, rock crystal, and pearls. Emeralds were also found in these jewellery pieces. These were made from ground quartz and then molded into expensive gemstones. They are also used as charm jewellery when molded or carved in different shapes.
    • Congratulations! Where you are you getting married? 
    • It’s my wedding five months from now and we badly need ideas because everyone’s mind is not working right now and I, as the bride, cannot even think of what I really want to have on my wedding day. I want something simple yet unique. Something that suits for Colombian women and bride. Can you help me out with this? Thanks! I will really appreciate your comments!
  • Topics

×