My FI said he doesn't want to get married....and our wedding is in less than 3 months

[Kelly C]

Hope it works out for you guys.

[cougs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dainanewell We finally talked and agreed to try to make it work....i still dont know if he wants to get married but hopefully he will answer that question soon...thanks Ladies

i'm glad to hear that he is going to at least give it more of a chance, rather than bailing on your years together, and most importantly, your children.

i would imagine that this close to the wedding, it's probably not possible for you, nor your guests who have booked, to get refunds and it would create a huge mess and bad feelings among both families. i.e., if you guys work things out later, people might continue to think badly of him because of this, and most would not sign on to come to a new wedding, ya know?

i do have a suggestion regarding this: if you were planning a legal ceremony, you could switch it to a solely symbolic one (if he would be in agreement to do so). your families and other guests would know no different, and the symbolic wedding would have meaning for your children. then if you later decided to make it legal, you could do a quick paper-signing legal thing at city hall.

[kellywinter1]

Daine I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a similar experience. I was engaged and planning a wedding with a man that I had been with for 7 years, had a daughter with and had just purchased a house with, when out of the blue he decided to tell me he didn't want to get married. I was completely shocked and I felt like my world was ending. Initially I fliped out and started making rash decisions, instead of trying to talk about how and why he was at the point. After i calmed down we eventually talked about things and I came to the conclusion that getting married wasn't the right thing to do. In my situation we had a rocky relationship from the begining and there were many other issues involved like cheating and alcohol. So m advise to you is as long as your story doesn't involve similar issues to mine give him time and dont't make any rash decisions. Like all the other ladies suggest try to talk about this and get to the root of why he is feeling this way. I hope every thing works out for you and you have a happy ending to report back to us.

[Kristie O]

i bet he'll miss you if you leave and if you did go, i wouldnt go back until you are married if possible so he'd be in a hurry to marry:) i know easier said than done with kids though!! love isnt all "feelings" anyway, its a choice. maybe he is expecting to feel hot sexy passion forever?? and if so, as we know thats just not all true love entails, only a part of it. thats why so many divorce, because the warm fuzzy feeling fades. i agree hes just really down right now because of the job situation and spending $ on the wedding just probably doesnt seem wise to him, just a deeper finacial hole. well, keep faith and pray for Gods will...whats meant to be will happen. i wish you your hearts desire.

[trophywife]

Oh my, I'm so sorry sweetheart!! That's crushing to hear right before you get married. Glad to hear that you two are going to work it out, is the wedding still on??

[Martha]

I am just now seeing this...How have the past couple of days been?

[dainanewell]

Not good....one day everything seems ok...then the next day everything is off again....I thought maybe it was just wedding jitters but now I think he just doesn t want to get married because it would be to me.......but he still doesn t want me to tell my parents...I m so confused!!!

[Kelly C]

It doesn't make sense. That he doesn't want you to tell your parents. Have you tried pushing him a little to get some kind of answers?

[dainanewell]

trust me I ve tried everything I could think of....nothing works....maybe he just afraid that they will get mad...since they gave us money for our wedding and are paying for everything....

[Kelly C]

Well Sweetie this sucks!!! He needs to make up his mind and stick with it. Your getting pretty close and I'm sure decision need to be made. Do you have trip insurance? My heart really goes out to you.