My FI said he doesn't want to get married....and our wedding is in less than 3 months

[dainanewell]

I am so shocked....I cant believe this is really happening.....my FI has been acting weird for about a month (he lost his job)....he seems really depressed....and yesterday out of the blue he just said he doesn't want to get married....because he doesn't feel the same way about me.........I'm so confused....we've been together for 10 years...have two kids and live together....how can he just all of a sudden say that....I dont know what to do.....He's still at our house and so am I.....he is acting so weird....he wanted me to go out to play poker last night but didn't want to talk about what's going on....I didn't go...I was to depressed to go.....so he freaked out and left till 3 am.......he came home and slept in the same bed as me........I dont know what to do.....do I leave?....DO i STAY?...do I give him time to think about it?......I really need some insight...PLEASE

[rodent]

i'm so sorry you are going through this. he needs to talk to you. i don't really have any advice, i'm just really sorry to hear you are dealing with this.

[trance_angelx0x]

Talk talk talk. It seems weird that out of the blue he would start acting like this. His confidence could be shot (losing his job). Best of luck to you.

[CarrieRN]

Wow, that is rough. I'd talk to him first and try to find out what is going on. Then maybe leave for a couple of days so he has time to see how much he misses you.

 

Hopefully it is just stress, because this seems like a big change to make all of a sudden.

[Michelle]

oh wow im so sorry! like all the others ladies have said try to talk to him and if that doesnt work that stay somewhere else for a couple days and im sure he will realise that he misses you....but good luck with everything

[Kelly C]

Sounds like stress. I would maybe see if your mom or someone can take the kids for a little while and try talking to him. Sounds like hes depressed. Just reasure him that you are there for him. So sorry sweetie.

[dainanewell]

Thanks ladies...the main problem is he doesn't want to talk ....he keeps saying we'll talk later but it just not happening....my sister took my kids last night for a sleep over so we could talk....but he went out and I was at home all by myself....I feel sick with emotion...thanks for listening

[DLyteful]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I agree with the rest of the girls. Talk talk talk, I know its easy for us to say that when he is being so different and not communicating with you, but try to get through to him. And Carrie's advise to leave for awhile to give him some time sounds like a good idea. Give him a chance to realize what he is losing. But you need to do what is best for YOU and your kids, so if he is not going to try, than you so do whats best for you.

[Jen_S]

I am so so sorry you are going through this. Can someone take the kids for a day or two so you both can talk about your feelings? Hopefully it is just from loosing his job and feeling stressed. Good Luck.

[kevsgirl]

Oh man. That is so horrible. I feel just sick for you...

FI just told me that you should go away for a couple of days with the kids and leave him totally alone so he can see what he's giving up. It also shows him how serious this all is and you can't be treated that way.

Then maybe he'll be ready to talk.

 

That's so rough. So you were 14 when you met him? Is he your age or much older? Not that that has to have anything to do with it, but it may.