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Drinking style horoscope...


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#1 MelissaH

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    Posted 15 March 2007 - 11:19 PM

    I found this on another site and it made me laugh pretty hard....I think because it's true (for me at least )



    ARIES (Mar 21- Apr 19)
    Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes
    don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them
    prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and
    they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people
    drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other
    methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will
    assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by
    sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as
    you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night,
    you sneaky Gemini

    TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
    Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming
    for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated
    Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop
    inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells jokes to
    employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to
    body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is
    not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A
    squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some
    would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when
    intoxicated.

    GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 21)
    Drinking style: Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior
    much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that
    it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with
    finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely
    advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's
    possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly,
    which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order
    different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may
    create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and
    limoncello) for their own amusement.

    CANCER (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
    Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with
    dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it,
    Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must
    guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret
    parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true
    Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get
    "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's
    nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of
    inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite
    Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be
    adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

    LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)=20
    Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often
    fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing
    their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're
    quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They
    generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing
    self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue --
    and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type
    to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder,
    Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you
    the next day

    VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are
    compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest
    for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it
    could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine
    or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh,
    when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an
    unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped.
    It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to
    declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence
    tonight." A toast to the subgenius

    LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 23)
    Drinking style: "I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just
    that I'm so damn social." Libra loves nothing more than to party,
    mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra
    (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra
    side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really
    work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in
    self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --
    including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening,
    flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's
    events entirely. Oops!

    SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 21)
    Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for
    they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till
    they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to
    drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see
    the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a
    personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps
    seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking
    pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also
    remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed.
    Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
    Drinking style: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze
    blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of
    their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink
    with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect
    from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna
    Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room,
    then
    persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub,
    or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hi-jinks are sure to ensue

    CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19)=20
    Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical,
    steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left
    off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David
    Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true
    rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too
    eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you
    to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on
    or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to
    loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up
    with a cute groupie.

    AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 1 Drinking style: Aquarius and
    drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They
    have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea
    while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If
    they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too
    preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly
    charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital
    drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can
    get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated
    by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with
    soused strangers while sober

    PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
    Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard
    that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor,
    LizaMinelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves
    in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they
    build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like
    that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners,
    whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can
    start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together
    for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways you
    know.

    #2 ~Melissa~

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    Posted 16 March 2007 - 02:22 AM

    Yep I am guilty of being a know it all especially when i have a couple of pops "They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea
    while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. "

    #3 starchild

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      Posted 16 March 2007 - 05:06 AM

      "Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something unbelievable in an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe."

      LMAO - SCARY BUT TRUE!!

      #4 TammyB

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        Posted 16 March 2007 - 07:23 AM

        OMG That is totally me..

        AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 1 Drinking style: Aquarius and
        drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They
        have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea
        while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If
        they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too
        preoccupied with their duties to get combative and they make perfectly
        charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital
        drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can
        get them before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated
        by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with
        soused strangers while sober

        #5 LCBride2007

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          Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:27 AM

          I'm an Aquarius as well ... as soon as I saw "stubborn" I knew it was talking about me!

          #6 TammyB

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            Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:32 AM

            OMG and I thought I was stubborn because I'm part German.. Nope it's because I'm just like my long lost sister.. lol

            #7 *JillD*

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              Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:38 AM

              I am an Aries, and it fits me to a "T". Its funny because FI is aquarius, but he's the last day of aquarius, so he's almost a pisces, and he definetly fits the pisces description, not at all like the aquarius

              #8 TATrisha

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              Posted 16 March 2007 - 09:45 AM

              I'm an aquarius and it actually does fit me... which is odd because I don't drink. But, that's where the DD, and the conversation with drunk people while sober comes in. And, I usually drink water when at the bar... conversing with drunks... and then driving them home.
              Fun!

              ~Trisha~

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              #9 Christine

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              Posted 16 March 2007 - 10:13 AM

              I too am an aquarius that that fits me so perfectly its scary, and rather funny that both my wedding and bach party are revolving around wine...since I don't really drink at all.
              Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

              #10 TATrisha

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              Posted 16 March 2007 - 12:38 PM

              OK, this is getting sort of creepy. Maybe it's an aquarius thing to have a destination wedding. You know, aqua/beach. Interesting.

              ~Trisha~

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