A little advice greatly appreciated...
Posted 11 September 2008 - 08:44 PM
So far I think you all are wonderful and I could really use your help with a dilemma.
My work is having a running event, 5k, lots of other SF companies will be there. We made special T-shirts for the company, going to go out after the run...super fun! It is next Wednesday and I just realized that I made plans for this exact day last March.
I have a friend, well "friend". She is the kind of girl whose life is miserable, no boyfriend in 10 years, super high maintenance, designer everything. She looks perfect on the outside but is a wreck on the inside. When I hang out with her I always regret it bc she mentally drains me.
Well, 6 months ago I promised I would go to a concert with her in mid-Sept. After flaking on her so many times I promised up and down that I would go to this one concert.
She never brought it up again and naturally I forgot about it bc I do not even care for the group that is playing. Last night, I went to pick up my dress (she insisted on coming even though she lives 40 minutes away and I was literally in the store for 15 min) and she reminded me about the concert. I felt so bad bc I had forgotten but also because I want to go to the run (and also bc she annoys the hell out of me!!!!).
I have been planning on severing ties with her anyway. We have nothing in common and I feel our values and outlooks on life are completely different. One friend said I should go to the concert anyway do this "one last thing" with her. Another friend asked why I kept putting myself in the same situation and that the only reason I was friends with her was out of pity, and that I should not go to the concert....
What should I do?
Posted 11 September 2008 - 08:51 PM
At this time in your life all of your energy needs to be focused on things that make you happy and fullfilled. Kindly explain that you are not able to attend the concert, period. You do not owe an explanation or apology. It would be better for you to surround yourself with true friends.
Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:06 PM
If someone really is having a bad time, I don't turn my back on them. But if they are just negative all the time with no good reason, I'm not going to wear myself out spending time with them.
Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:11 PM
Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:24 PM
Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:38 PM
Posted 12 September 2008 - 12:59 AM
Posted 12 September 2008 - 02:14 AM
Okay, I will just tell her that I really want to go to this work thing and that I'm sorry, I had totally forgotten about the concert.
I do not want to hurt her feelings bc she has had several bouts of depression but I really need to get her out of my life. I am just going to not answer her calls as much and find excuses to not go out with her. Hopefully after awhile, like Erica's friend, she will stop calling.
It's just hard to tell someone that you do not want to be their friend, especially when she has no other friends, but I have to come to terms with the fact that it is not my problem.
Dang this sucks!
Posted 12 September 2008 - 08:18 AM
If you have the backbone to ditch her have it to tell her why. You wouldn't like it if someone did it to you.
I'm not getting at you and to be fair i'd have probably told her a long long time ago lol Thing is you have to be the better person and ignoring her is just mean and i'm sure you aren't.
Just say look i'm not going to the gig i don't even like the band and if i'm being honest I can't even see why we are friends anymore. I don't mind being there for you in tough times but its all you seem to have and you are driving me nuts lol Do it in a public place so you can escape 2 lol
Posted 12 September 2008 - 11:52 AM
I do agree though- you should be straight up. If you are going to severe ties with someone I think they should know why. It's not fun questioning why it happened and never knowing what you did.
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