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Gift etiquette for invitees unable to attend a DW....is it different?


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#1 ~Kate~

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    Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:11 AM

    I was just reading another thread about how many people were invited to your DW and how many can attend (http://bestdestinati...om/forum/t28518) and wondered about the etiquette for those who were invited but RSVP'ed no....do these people buy a gift for the couple? I know I always send a gift to a couple if I was invited to their wedding but can't attend, but wondered if it is different for a DW??

    #2 beachbride08

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      Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:19 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by kleslie5
      I was just reading another thread about how many people were invited to your DW and how many can attend (http://bestdestinati...om/forum/t28518) and wondered about the etiquette for those who were invited but RSVP'ed no....do these people buy a gift for the couple? I know I always send a gift to a couple if I was invited to their wedding but can't attend, but wondered if it is different for a DW??
      We have already received two cards with money from FI's relatives that are not coming to the wedding. We are not expecting wedding gifts from anyone (attending or not), but I'm sure some people will still give gifts.
      Michelle

      #3 jamisoncollette

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        Posted 11 September 2008 - 09:59 AM

        A gift is not required at any wedding according to Emily Post. We received a few gifts from those who did not attend our wedding but not many over all. Don't be upset, I think people are unsure and the economy sucks at the moment. We did receive cards congratulating us. I however am like you and send a gift even if I cannot attend.

        #4 kate.com

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          Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:05 AM

          Hey Kate!
          Not sure either. I would send something! But, just like everything, people have their own ways of doing things... so expect nothing, and you will probably end up with something!

          I wasn't going to register but was told to do so... I guess some people are still planning on buying off of our registry.

          Hope you are well!

          #5 ~Kate~

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            Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:09 AM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by jamisoncollette
            A gift is not required at any wedding according to Emily Post. We received a few gifts from those who did not attend our wedding but not many over all. Don't be upset, I think people are unsure and the economy sucks at the moment. We did receive cards congratulating us. I however am like you and send a gift even if I cannot attend.
            I know what you mean - and I would never expect any gifts at all. I doubt a lot of the guests coming to our wedding will get us anything, and we've been clear that we don't expect them to - they are paying enough to come to the wedding. But my Mom has had a few people who were invited but can't come tell her that they want to get us something...and I wondered what everyone else thought of that....thanks for your input!!

            #6 ~Kate~

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              Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:12 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by kate.com
              Hey Kate!
              Not sure either. I would send something! But, just like everything, people have their own ways of doing things... so expect nothing, and you will probably end up with something!

              I wasn't going to register but was told to do so... I guess some people are still planning on buying off of our registry.

              Hope you are well!
              Kate! Love the new user name!!

              I know - we didn't want to register, but I've had two aunts ask us to because they are throwing us showers and our families are definitely registry-buyers. Still haven't decided....should get on that :)

              #7 kate.com

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                Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:15 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by kleslie5
                Kate! Love the new user name!!

                I know - we didn't want to register, but I've had two aunts ask us to because they are throwing us showers and our families are definitely registry-buyers. Still haven't decided....should get on that :)
                I need to get on that too... my showers are in November so I have a little time! My bachlorette party is in 2 weeks though! That will be fun. AND trouble. I rarely drink more than one... I am an old prude apparently.

                Where are you going to register? I went for Target.. it is based here in MN and they have one in almost every town. Then... I dunno. I don't really need much!

                #8 ~Kate~

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                  Posted 11 September 2008 - 10:20 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by kate.com
                  I need to get on that too... my showers are in November so I have a little time! My bachlorette party is in 2 weeks though! That will be fun. AND trouble. I rarely drink more than one... I am an old prude apparently.

                  Where are you going to register? I went for Target.. it is based here in MN and they have one in almost every town. Then... I dunno. I don't really need much!
                  In two weeks!!! I'm an old prude too...one glass of wine with dinner is usually my limit....can't really remember the last time I had more than one...be sure to post pics!!!

                  We're thinking The Bay (Canada's equivalent to Macy's). There is one everywhere and you can buy online - we don't need a lot either.

                  #9 Yari

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                    Posted 11 September 2008 - 02:08 PM

                    I received gifts from people who RSVP'd no, I was shocked, but so touched.

                    #10 EricaG

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                      Posted 11 September 2008 - 02:19 PM

                      We got one gift so far from people that couldn't attend. We arn't expecting gifts but did register as there are showers (one this weekend) and other people have asked about gifts. Since we have been together for years and have 2 kids, it is probably easier to just register for stuff that you could use, than have people always asking or getting stuff that you really don't need. We registered at The Bay and Linen' n Things.
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