I broke it off today...
Posted 10 September 2008 - 11:28 PM
(note - this is a long one)
I was with a carpool for a number of years with no problems, but I switched jobs and locations, so I had to find a new one.
I started a new carpool in June and they all thought we got along great, and the person who had a parking pass decided to give hers up and just use mine. Fine with me, but little did I know how they were going to turn on me.
Things were fine for the first month, but when July started and people started taking holidays, the others would totally crap on the person who wasn't there! The main back-talker, I'll call her Little Miss Problem, was the one who originally started the carpool and gave up her parking pass. (Parking is very hard to come by near my work, and very pricey). When the older lady in our carpool went on holidays, all she did was talk about how bad a driver she is, or how she forgets things, or how she doesn't rush to get out of work and on the road as fast as everyone else.
I kind of agreed with some of the things she said, and the other person, I'll call him Mr. T, kinda gets sucked into any gossip or negative talk about anyone, so he totally chimed in on the bitch-fest on this lady. I just said maybe we should talk to her about some things that might improve the carpool, but Little Miss Problem & Mr. T would rather complain about it than do something about it.
Did I mention yet that I work for an IT company? Little Miss Problem & Mr. T work for the same company, so they only communicate by email or texting. No picking up the phone or actually talking to someone, nooo, that would be too difficult.
So we finally did talk to the lady and we all made some changes that improved things. But it wasn't really approached in the best way, it was more like Little Miss Problem sending her lots of emails, getting more and more rude and demanding, and then LMP and Mr. T basically dicating the new law in the car and there would be no discussion of it!
After that, the lady went on holidays again. LMP started taking holidays every other work day (so some weeks she's on Mon-Wed-Fri, or Tues-Thurs, very confusing especially when she keeps checking her work Blackberry while on holidays). I then found that LMP and Mr. T started picking on me. Sending me not so nice emails about things they should have just talked about in the car, or even called me! After one email I got, I was so pissed off I called up LMP, and that threw her right off - she wasn't expecting to actually have to deal with my emotional reaction to her nasty email.
As the summer went on, any time LMP had a problem with me, she sent me a not-so-nice email.
-- I told them I might be late getting to the car because I had a specialist appointment - I got a nasty email about how she has to leave the city immediately after work to get home to her 11 year old son (which, btw, we ended up having to wait for Mr. T - I bet he didn't get a nasty email)
-- LMP made up the schedule, I have no idea how she decides who drives when. When I questioned her in the car about the schedule and making it more equal and me having to change some days, I got an email the next day about if someone needs to change days, they had better make it up in the schedule or else!
-- I emailed LMP about Mr. T being on the schedule on a day when he didn't show up. I was off for a few days previous, and she slammed one back to me, going "why don't you ask him, I don't know anything about the schedule"
-- Then after me replying that he wasn't around and I was looking for an updated schedule, she emailed back saying "Oh, I noticed you called my house at 7am on a day when I was on holidays. Please don't call my house that early when I'm on holidays". Why the F*&% would I be calling her that early if she wasn't driving with us, unless I thought she was or if she had my parking pass.
Today was the total kicker. FI has been saying I should have dumped them a month ago, but gas here hit $1.38 per litre on the long weekend, so I tried to hang on. This morning, LMP asks me to turn down the radio about 15 min from work so she can call her son and wake him. Fine, but we're nearly at work and it's Bohemian Rhapsody (I didn't say it, but I thought it). So we get to the parking lot, and as we're pulling in she loudly says "Jesus Christ" and then when we stop, she gets out of the car and slams the door and takes off. Mr. T and the other lady and I were all looking at each other like "WTF happened with her".
I go get coffee and head to the office, all the time thinking, "oh I bet there's an email waiting for me". Lo and behold, it says I should stop driving like I'm in the Indy 500 and slow it down.
THAT'S IT - BOOM -- I HAVE HAD IT! Like the hell I was going to respond with an email to that, I'm done with this carpool.
I called the other lady and told her that tomorrow was my last day and that I felt bad b/c they're screwed for parking (3 month min waiting list), but she said she understood why, and that if I could find a new carpool she'd come too!
So on the way home, LMP totally ignored me. When we got close to her house, I broke the news. I said we're not getting along, it's not working out so tomorrow is my last day and then after that they're on their own. She agreed about the not getting along, but said I should have been more courteous and gave them warning long enough to arrange parking. LIKE THE HELL I"M GONNA WAIT 3 MORE MONTHS, they'd torture me. I told her that yes, it would be courteous, but at this point I don't really care I have to do what's best for me and they are really stressing me out.
Phew. Sorry for the super long rant but I really had to get that out. Only one more day to go, I have to drive in with just LMP tomorrow morning, and then her and Mr. T tomorrow afternoon but then I'm FREEEEEEEE......
Posted 10 September 2008 - 11:44 PM
Posted 10 September 2008 - 11:53 PM
Posted 11 September 2008 - 12:00 AM
I think most downtown areas are like that in cities though. I wish I could take the bus... sigh. (FI has to be close to his work, me not so much).
Posted 11 September 2008 - 08:56 AM
I'd also tell her that you've kept all the abusive emails and are passing them to HR as it is bullying lmao she'd crap herself haha
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