Dollar Dance? Heard of it?

[EmenGeeRoxx]

It's part of my culture as well and I think it's tacky. I know friends who have done it and made a lot of $. It even paid for one couple's honeymoon.

 

I just don't participate in it whenever I see it.

[lolkitteh]

I lived in PA for a number of years, and it does seem to be a regional thing that is quite common (like wedding soup! mmmmm....). The majority of PA/OH weddings I've been to have had a "dollar dance", oftentimes with a shot of booze of your choice included along with the dance.

 

I grew up in an area where this was never done, and for the first few weddings I've been to where there was a "dollar dance" I was pretty shocked and thought it was completely tacky and offensive. However, "when in Rome", you do as the Romans, and eventually came to accept it as a feature of weddings in the region. If I were to attend in a wedding again where this was featured, I would certainly participate and have fun along with everyone else.

 

That said, I would *never* think to do such a thing at my own wedding. I would also add that I think the dollar dance is only appropriate for first weddings and/or young couples under 30 as an absolute maximum.

[tylersgirl]

I don't care for the dollar dance. I had a good friend do it at her elegant wedding and I didn't like it. It's not for me =) but I could understand if it was someone's tradition.

[MarieSam]

The dollar dance commonly done at Filipino weddings ~ my family does it in the form of a fun competition as to whether the bride or groom can get the most $$$$. It's also one of the few times during the weding when you will get to have one-on-one conversations with your guests. I remember being at past family weddings and seeing the couples really enjoy the fun behind it, but oh yes they also cleaned up, I mean SERIOUS cash!

 

I can certainly see why those who do not celebrate the money dance culturally would see this as tacky. Although FI is not Filipino, we will probably do the dollar dance at the urging of my side of the family. I certainly am not expecting to walk outta there with boatloads of cash, but more so will have fun doing it outta tradition and culture.

[angel1416]

It's common here in Indiana, too. I won't be doing the dollar dance at my DW, but probably wouldn't do it at a "traditional" wedding at home, either. I personally think it's kind of tacky to blatantly ask for money from your GUESTS.

[DTHSLove]

I think it is fun. In my culture they don't give gifts like they do in America so this is what the guest look forward to to give the B&G something. At the end they give it to the groom so he can take care if his bride. It is fun if all participate in it and have a good time.

This summer I went to a wedding and they had it, it did not turn out so fun no one hardley went up to dance. I really felt bad for the couple. If your family is the party type go for it..

[lani76]

I think the dollar dance is a great tradition for a couple just starting out. Both my fiance and I have this in our culture (he's mexican and I'm filipino) and so we'll probably consider doing this for our wedding although I'm not quite sure yet because everyone is spending so much to come and see us. Still, both of our families expect it and want to make sure we are off to a good start so it would not be awkward at all.

 

I'm not absolutely sure what the story behind it is in the filipino culture but, in my head, this tradition is meant to help the newlyweds start off on the right foot in their newly joined lives, and as a wish for prosperity from the guests. I think it's similar to the chinese weddings where tons of gold jewelry and money are given to the couple to help them as newly married couple. Of course, this tradition isn't meant for everyone but for those who like the idea, why not?

 

I've participated in the dance in every wedding that I've gone to that had it...It's my way of sending them my well wishes. I mean, if I can help them start off on the right foot with a few dollars and a few moments of dancing, I think it's great!

[EmenGeeRoxx]

If everyone understands what it's about I guess it's ok. If you do have guests not familiar with the culture I would suggest you have an announcement and explain to them what it's about so it doesn't look like a blatant money grab. I have been to many filipino weddings and the non filipinos didn't know what it was about and felt awkward and obligated to do it. Personally, it's not for me and I definitely wouldn't do it even I got married at home.

[lolkitteh]

This is an interesting thread, because it is such a good example of the contrast between tradition and etiquette.

 

From an etiquette standpoint, I would bet very good money that you would not be able to find any Emily Post types who would agree that having a "Dollar Dance" is polite. At the end of the day, guests are being asked to participate in a transaction where they are paying their hosts for a few seconds of social interaction/hospitality. If you have a situation where money changes hands from a guest to a host, regardless of cultural/traditional justifications/rationalizations, one can hardly say that it's correct etiquette. For this reason, the Dollar Dance will always continue to create controversy, even within circles where it is mostly accepted for cultural reasons (as seen in this very thread).

 

However, that's not to say that upholding tradition isn't also important. It really depends on what takes precedence for the hosts and guests involved - tradition or etiquette. There are certainly many cultural justifications and considerations that come into play. Ultimately, one has to weigh the importance of tradition vs. etiquette, and figure out which violation would cause the more serious offense.

[EmenGeeRoxx]

Nice post by lolkitteh.

 

Hey if tradition is so important, then my fiancee's family should front the bill right? Just Kidding!