Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
S2BLennon

When you ask someone to participate in your ceremony.....

Recommended Posts

......And they say "I have to think about it"........

 

I have been holding this in for weeks.

 

We are having no wedding party. I am having my bro as my Man of honor, FI is having his bro as BM... For siblings that only leaves my FSIL.... We wanted to make it special for our immediate family to be the only "participants" for the ceremony....

 

So we asked FSIL if she would do us the honor of reading the sand ceremony at our ceremony in PC... Instead of the response we thought would be a no-brainer... She said that she had to think about it! When asked why, she said that she had to get over the drama and shananagans that went on at BM's wedding 2 years ago. (IT was a mess) But I am not her, and it was long enough where anyone should have been over it.

Not only that - but she is blood....

 

So Fi didn't get upset, just told her to call when she made a decision. He was clearly upset though.

 

As it is, she is not "allowing" her 2 boys, which are FI's only nephews to attend the wedding...Because it is not Holy..

 

Since we have been engaged it has been a question of weather we are getting married in a catholic church or not. Everyone else has accepted the fact that we are getting married on the beach. Even our parents.. But older sister will not. So she will not let her boys witness an unholy matrimony.

 

And now she may not want to participate! She is the one that hates drama and she is the only one creating it for me!

 

Who is she to tell us what we should and shouldn't do! And how can she cast that stone? I know she has a perfect life in a prfect house in a perfect neighborhood... But someday reality is going to hit.

 

I feel like if she says that she will not participate there is really no reason for her to come to the wedding. She is not taking her family, and I feel like those actions are her not accepting me into the family.

 

Yet when I talk to her on the phone she is so nice to me and acts as if she is happy for us. But it crosses with her morals. I don't get it and i am so upset.

 

What should I do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well if it were me I would tell her to take her hollyness and shove it where the sun doesnt shine. But then again Im not in a particularly good mood.

 

It is a shame that she is unwilling to look past her particular beliefs to participate in the happiness of others. I think that at this time it is pretty hard on you that she doesnt want to participate. But in the end I think it is best to not have someone read something so special to you who doesnt believe in the union that you are making, that just so happens to be on a beach and not a church.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yuck! I definitely think you should just forget it with her. If she comes to the wedding, AWESOME! If not, WHATEVER! I wouldn't push her involvement since she is already thrusting her judgement on you. You don't need that noise.

 

I totally respect your motivation to ask for her involvement...I just think you need to listen to what she's telling you & not try to change it. I think it would invite drama, and you don't need it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i feel your pain on this one! FIs parents are the same way.

 

i say just let it go. the more you think about it the more it's going to bother you, and honestly i bet she's one of those people that will change her opinion.

 

so i agree with christa, 100%!!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christa View Post
Yuck! I definitely think you should just forget it with her. If she comes to the wedding, AWESOME! If not, WHATEVER! I wouldn't push her involvement since she is already thrusting her judgement on you. You don't need that noise.

 

I totally respect your motivation to ask for her involvement...I just think you need to listen to what she's telling you & not try to change it. I think it would invite drama, and you don't need it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you did the right thing by asking her, but if she says no you just have to accept it and let it go. I know FI will be disappointed, but you probably don't want someone participating in your wedding that isn't truly thrilled and honored to be doing it. Then if she shows up, she shows up. It sucks, but sometimes our families are the ones who cause us the most stress and hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say nevermind, even if she thinks about it and comes back saying she will do it. What are you supposed to do, sit around hoping she'll grace your wedding with her participation? Bleh. She's entitled to feel that way but it stinks that you are feeling stressed when you should be feeling supported. You don't need the bs!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh dear. Nevermind is correct. I honestly would find someone else or move on. She seems to have the holy grail stuck up her arse! She's just trying to bully you and make a statement...except all that anyone is hearing is I'm a holier than thou sycophant who needs to dominate and control everything around me, and because I can't and because I need to maintain my superiority complex I will make sure you bow down to my every whim!". For crying out loud this her brother's wedding....she can't put aside her ideologies for one day and truly be there in joy with you both? If she can't...why is she coming?! Sorry for the rant...(it's been one of those weeks)

 

Ugggh...Is it just me, or does anyone feel that OP is in for a continuingly rough ride with this woman? I'm really sorry you have to do deal with it. Don;t ask her again. Find someone else who will truly be there in joy for you and will participate. And when she throws a tantrum (trust me...she will)...just repeat the words she said to you - that you didn't think it was fair to include her in unholy matrimony, nor have her sons witness it etc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah, we had a little unexpected family drama too... no fun for sure! It did blow over. Best to let it go and focus on you and your future hubby! Even though it is reaaalllly annoying and you have every right to be upset.

 

THIS IS THE TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE MR. TO BE TOTALLY IN LOVE AND HAPPY! Don't let anyone spoil it for you!!!!! And try to let it go for your own sake (not hers.) If she's not losing any sleep over it, why should you?!.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi my husband and I are renewing our wedding vows at dreams Punta cana resort and spot QE hace the ultimate dream package but it's very simple the resort is charging a whole lot for decorations any one ever bought their own decorations to the resort they also charge to put your decorations up.
    • How to login Hotmail? Today I am going to show you how to login to any Hotmail account on Desktop and Mobile. If you have a Hotmail account but you don’t know how to sign in Hotmail, this post helps you login Hotmail easy way with pictures. If you don’t have Hotmail account, of course, let Sign up Hotmail. And now, Here is how to sign in Hotmail.
       
    • I and my partner are going to get married on August 12th. We met each other through a lesbian dating website. Both of us want that day to be a memorable day. We are in confused on which dress to wear for the wedding ceremony. Any suggestion on lesbian wedding dress? I prefer white, whereas my partner prefers of-white. Which one do you think will look good? Should we go for same dress or different one? Share your thoughts.
    • Choose the flower that is matching with the bride and gown dress.
    • Hotmail gmail login: How to change your gmail password and how to delete your Gmail account? GMAIL is the most popular emailing service, with almost had a billion people worldwide logging on every day to check their emails. Google has recently added a number of new updates to make it easier to secure your Gmail, as well as safely deleting your email account. How do you change your password or delete your hotmail account?
  • Topics

×