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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyP View Post
Im sorry I just decided to back track. Yes it was SIDS. Ayanna was her name it means Pure flower and she would cry when her father left the room or went to work. She would not sleep and was only happy when she nursed. I was dehydrated and he came home early from work and she nipped my breast and grinned (atleast what looked like a grin from a dehydrated tried stinky person). lawrence took her laid her down and that was the last time I saw my baby girl alive
Catherine, Im so sorry for your loss and having to deal with losing a child. Im sure there are no words that can explain what you have felt or done through but in know what does that make you thought or said in anyway a bad person. You are obviously an amazing mother to bring up so a great son.

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I don't drive.

 

I was in a really bad car accident about 7 years ago and never got back behind the wheel. It wasn't as bad as it could have been but I was really banged up! 11 broken bones, severe concussion, cuts and bruises all over my body.

 

I was so scared the one time I did drive I had a panic attack and nearly crashed! I was so afraid I would hurt someone else that I stopped driving all together. It took about 3 months before I could even ride in the front seat again.

 

I know I really need to drive again but I always find a way of justifying why not to. We can't afford another car with payments, gas & insurance, etc. I'm always at work so there's no point. It's more economical and earth friendly to car pool.

 

I can't have a kiddo until I drive so that needs to be my project after the wedding.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saraha View Post
Catherine, Im so sorry for your loss and having to deal with losing a child. Im sure there are no words that can explain what you have felt or done through but in know what does that make you thought or said in anyway a bad person. You are obviously an amazing mother to bring up so a great son.
thanks. my son is an amazing kid. Now if he will just go to sleep so he can go to school tomorrow

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Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 View Post
I don't drive.

I was in a really bad car accident about 7 years ago and never got back behind the wheel. It wasn't as bad as it could have been but I was really banged up! 11 broken bones, severe concussion, cuts and bruises all over my body.

I was so scared the one time I did drive I had a panic attack and nearly crashed! I was so afraid I would hurt someone else that I stopped driving all together. It took about 3 months before I could even ride in the front seat again.

I know I really need to drive again but I always find a way of justifying why not to. We can't afford another car with payments, gas & insurance, etc. I'm always at work so there's no point. It's more economical and earth friendly to car pool.

I can't have a kiddo until I drive so that needs to be my project after the wedding.
I just wanted to mention that I work in a psychologists office and a fair amount of the work they do is with people who have been involved in motor vehicle accidents. Most of the time the treatment is covered by the car insurance company. Good luck with finding a solution.

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Originally Posted by dragonfly View Post
Natasha, Have kids they are the best, I adore my children, life as you know it doesn't have to end! Just take this advice don't hang out with first time mom's (I'm sorry if I offended someone, just talking from my experiences, so don't take it personally). I will be even a little more honest, I don't really like other peoples kids (oh I hear you all gasping collectively) I have no patience for them (well honestly it is usually the parents I have no patience for)

My children don't do the regular kid stuff, we don't do barney, not many toys(I find kids don't usually play with them anyway) we don't do amusment parks, kids music, or chucky cheese. My children are very well behaved and enjoy venus, such as art gallerys, hiking, long drives, dinner out, boating, the sky (a big deal in our house), all music (we go to many festivals in Toronto), and books. Take today for example we spent the day walking around Kennsington Market (The T.O equivilent of greenwhich village in NY), not once did Liam complain. We walked, browsed, listened to music, bought fruit (more exciting then toys!), sat on a patio and ate chinese food, and yes all of my children including Liam use chop sticks.

I surround my self with women who have children, but are not defined by their children. Everton and I have a life outside of our kids, and the kids expect that from us. I also am a firm believer in kid time and grown up time. Such as New years is a grown up holiday (you won't find us ringing in the New Year with our kids), and I love a good kid free dinner party.

Your children will definitely become the focal point of your life, but you may also enjoy the part of you who enjoyed life with out kids. You will most certainly have to be the good mom, and endure the christmas concerts and apple orchards of your childrens lives, make some small talk with the mom's, and politely decline the coffee invites. Always bring a good book to the park, and avoid eye contact, this is your key to survival!!! lol

But who knows, your tiny bundle of joy could enter your life, and surprise surprise, all of a sudden you know nothing more facinating then the colour of their poop!!!LOL
(Natasha it really is a risk worth taking!)

Kelly~

I just read EVERYTHING and found this answer from Kelly. I LOVE IT because this is me exactly. I'm almost an anti-mom type. I hate, hate, hate when all people talk about is their pregnancy/children. Drives me insane. I'm so much more than a wife and mother and being with those that talk about their kids 24/7 is more than I can handle. A lot of people think it's odd that I don't talk about Aiden much. It's not that I don't talk about him at all, but it's just he's not the only thing I have to talk about.

And I so want to avoid just doing stereotypical kids activities with Aiden. Don't even get me started on toys. I had to tell my MIL not to buy Aiden any more stuffed animals/toys. I felt sort of like a jerk for doing it, but I don't believe a child should have an abundance of toys. I have a 10 toy limit for Aiden. No more than 10 toys at a time. Everything else is donated to charity. I just don't see the need.

Anyway, it made me so happy to read your answer because I agree with everything you said, and I know it's not the norm. Especially not for a first time mom. I think this is why I still get a lot of "Wait... YOU'RE A MOM!?!" reactions from people. I love kids in general and think they are awesome (I even work with special needs kids), but I'm not really a "kid" person (ie. I do my best to avoid them out in public!).

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyP View Post
Im sorry I just decided to back track. Yes it was SIDS. Ayanna was her name it means Pure flower and she would cry when her father left the room or went to work. She would not sleep and was only happy when she nursed. I was dehydrated and he came home early from work and she nipped my breast and grinned (atleast what looked like a grin from a dehydrated tried stinky person). lawrence took her laid her down and that was the last time I saw my baby girl alive
Thanks for sharing Catherine. Ayanna is such a pretty name. grouphug.gif

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not sure how i missed Kelly's post either - but i can relate to 100% of it ... well, as much as I can for not being a mom yet! but that's the kind of mom i envision myself being. i have already told paul, we're not buying any toys. i know we will get them, and fine, but we don't need to buy any! why does a child need an elaborate, noisy toy that only does 1 thing anyway?! not only does it likely hamper creativity, but the kid would be just as happy playing with a cardboard box, and would probably get a lot more out of it! (and i wouldn't get the headache!)

 

ok, random brain dump over. but that was refreshing to read, kelly!

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1. I have no colon. I have FAP, in short it causes colon cancer. I started to develop cancer so they took my colon.

2. The plans are for my FI to become a stay at home dad- one day.

3. I manage 55 million dollars a year. I just got promoted to this position. This is why my FI can be a stay at home dad- one day.

4.I am not sure that my FI will ever be dad. Because of my surgeries I may not be able to concieve. Which I am totally fine with adoption.

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Originally Posted by redwards View Post


And more seriously, I am actually a little afraid of getting old. Not just older in general but really old. Because I'm vain, I'm freaked out about wrinkles, going totally grey, losing the shape I have and having "old lady body". And even worse than that stuff, I'm so concerned about what I will be like when I'm old - will I be forgetful, sick, weak, deaf etc. And I realize that might sound awful but it's just a part of life that I'm really nervous about. Does that make sense??
This is one of my biggest fears in life, being alone & old and everything else mentioned ...to make it even worse, old people kinda creep me out. Dont get me wrong, I love my older family members (grandparents, etc.) but if I dont know them I kinda get wierded out...am i horriable or what?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saraha View Post
DH? Whats that? Im sure I should know but not sure....
Yes strictly gluten free. I was diagnosed almost three years ago and find that even if I have a bite of bread/pasta/cake etc im in big trouble.
I try to eat gluten and wheat free. A lot of the vegan substitutes are high in gluten and they leave a really strange taste in my mouth, and sometimes it makes my stomach hurt. luckily there are soooo may gluten free products now, celiac is manageable.


Quote:
Which club?
the ghost bar

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YES! PPL AGREE! Every since I don't know I said the same thing about toys. I hate battery operated plastic toys. Then I read "Confessions of a Slacker Mom" and I loved her idea of having a basket and thats how many toys you get to fill it. So I told my family no PLASTIC or electronic toys PERIOD. Kids need to use their imagination. Plus I've been in chldcare for 12 years and I can tell you they drive me insane. My family just rolled my eyes. Its to add to the cloth-diapering, no vaxing, no circing, natural, breastfeeding list I already have. Haha...but I'm dead serious I will drop that toy in the trash! wink.gif

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