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advice on asking "unofficial" bridesmaids


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#1 caporrone

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    Posted 26 August 2008 - 07:20 PM

    Hey Ladies,

    we booked our DW in Jamaica for 10-10-09 and I have yet to ask anyone to be in my bridal party. I do have an older sister (29) whom I am very close with... we are living together now -(only for another month, until I move into our new townhouse that my fiance and I bought together!!! very exciting) and of course she is going to be my Maid of Honor...

    other then that, i wasn't planning on asking others because the party will be of like 8 or 9 people, and I just don't want that...

    so I was thinking about asking those others (2 cousins, 5 close friends) to be my "unofficial bridesmaid" therefore they don't have to buy the dress and worry about the financial situation and some live far.. I won't be singling anyone out and so forth... but I sitll want them to be a part of everything - planning, helping, organizing, etc. all the fun stuff.

    Does anyone have any advice, thoughts, ideas, or similar situations that they can share??

    I would really appreciate it,
    Thanks ladies!
    Courtney

    #2 Cattie

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      Posted 26 August 2008 - 08:22 PM

      I'm doing the same thing. I have my MOH, then my aunt who is like 3 years older then me, so she's not really like an aunt....(back to topic)....She is my "unofficial" bridesmaid. When the FI and I where originally supposed to get married in 2002 and do the big church gig, she was going to be my bridesmaid, since that has changed and we're doing a DW and I'm not having a bridal party. She is however going to do my makeup on my wedding day and has been a part of all of my planning. She's getting a very special gift just like a BM would get.

      I just call her my incognito BM that doesn't have to wear a cheesy dress! She loves it.

      Hope that helps!!

      Oh and I'm also recruiting her for all my DIY stuff since I did all her centerpieces for her wedding =)

      #3 lmg970

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        Posted 26 August 2008 - 09:12 PM

        I am having the same problem, I don't want to ask anyone to buy a special dress and I am not sure yet if my sister can go, she would be my MOH

        #4 becks

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        Posted 27 August 2008 - 08:37 AM

        I asked all 5 of my best girlfriends to be my unoffical bridesmaids. I didn't have any attendants. But, I wrote them all a nice letter, sharing their importance in my life and the roles that they all play. I asked them all to wear pink - any shade, any shape, any pattern. Take a look at my non-pro pics. There's one of them in there. I think it turned out really cute!

        Happily married since 2008

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        #5 blkladylaw

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          Posted 27 August 2008 - 09:26 AM

          I never really asked officially. My 3 closest girlfriends all were there from the beginning helping me consider venues, dresses, etc. and I just went to the bridal shower and bachelorette party they threw for me this past weekend. I gave them gifts after my shower and wrote them each letters thanking them for their friendship over the years and for all their help through my wedding. I'll have corsages or hair flowers for them at the wedding but no special attire and no standing up with us...just want them to attend and have a good time. It was all very simple and one less thing for me to worry about in coordinating other people. No wedding rehearsal or dinner. It will just be our parents walking down the aisle before us and no practice needed for that....they'll get instructions 30 minutes before the wedding.
          ___________
          Wed 9/5/08 at Lake Las Vegas Chapel Fiorenza with yacht cruise reception on the La Contessa and party the next night in VIP section at Club Poetry at Caesars Palace. Stayed at the Ritz at the Lake and checked into the Trump hotel on the strip after our reception.
          Our first baby (a...

          #6 yamille

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            Posted 27 August 2008 - 12:55 PM

            I knew pretty early on that I didn't want a full bridal party. I will have my sis as MOH and Terry's brother is BM. That's it.
            BUT... I have been keeping my closest girlfriends involved by making them my "virtual bridesmaids" becuase I send out a weekly mass email with what's going on wedding wise as well as anything else. We are all scattered and it's been a really sweet way to keep everyone involved and hear opinions which I value so much. I am thinking of having them wear a hair flower or somehting like that as my gift to them.

            #7 caporrone

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              Posted 27 August 2008 - 05:51 PM

              Thanks!
              So I think after some tought and talking with my fiance and sister (MOH) I am going to take Becks idea of having an "unofficial BM" I do want them all to be involved as they do to... however it is just too large of a group and gets overwhelming.
              So this is what I have planned. I went to Micheal's today and bought wooden pic frams for $1 and wooden "friends" letters $1 as well, that I will glue onto the frame, paint the colors of my wedding theme and make a card on the comp then probably ship it to each of them..
              with a pic of me with each of them indiviudally telling them that I want them to be involved in this special momentous time in my life. Because it certainly wouldn't be the same without them.

              I'll put pics up when I am through!
              Thanks
              ~CC

              #8 monicaswave

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                Posted 04 September 2008 - 01:38 PM

                I do have a small wedding party of 3 girls but I have 2 other girlfriends that I am kinda close with. They have helped me wiht as much stuff for the wedding as my real BMs so I called them my EXTENDED Bridesmaids and they love it!

                #9 twixygrl

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                  Posted 07 September 2008 - 08:27 PM

                  I am goinng to have unofficial bridesmaids as well. Mostly because of a tense family situation with 3 sisters, only one of which I actually would want in the wedding. If we asked the same number of people between me and FI we would have 8 on each side...that is just silly. This will give me the chance to honor each of my friends as an unofficial BM without really asking them to buy a plane ticket, dress, shoes, get their hair done etc. etc. I haven't picked the gifts yet, but I am leaning toward a photo book of our friendships for each girl. I also really like the idea of honoring them at the ceremony with a flower. I guess we will see!
                  Twixygrl




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