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Etiquette advice needed desperately!!

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#1 MelissaH

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    Posted 06 March 2007 - 12:58 PM

    Ok so here's the deal - I have an aunt who's not able to come to my wedding due to her financial situation, but we're so close that I would do just about anything to have her there (including pay her's and her husband's way).

    I want to ask them if they will let me cover their travel costs, but I don't know how to ask without offending them or anything? Any tips?

    #2 TammyB

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      Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:02 PM

      Oh good one.. Hmm, do you think they would get offended if you just out right asked them?

      #3 Nrvsbride

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        Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:10 PM

        I think you should just ask them. I really don't think people get offended by this. They may decline b/c they feel embarassed and don't want to take your money but I don't think it would offended. If anything they will feel flattered and honored that you love them enough to offer to pay for them. When you ask your aunt make sure you preface it by telling her how much she means to you and how you can't imagine getting married without her there by your side. Tell her it would mean the world to you and your FI to have them there.


        #4 leigh miller

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          Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:11 PM

          glenda said it all. please ask her. it might work out she could go!

          #5 MrsV-to-be

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            Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:15 PM

            Are you getting any type of deal from your travel agent for the group booking? For instance, for us, every 26th adult's package is free. If you have something like that, you could just ask her permission to use it towards her ticket. If you were able to do something like that, you both win. You get your aunt there, and she won't potentially feel bad for not paying her own way - because its 'free'.
            Even if you technically did not use it towards her ticket - whose to know?

            #6 lambert13

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              Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:18 PM

              A good friend of Karen's is having a destination wedding (Niagara Falls) two months after we get married in Mexico. They have been friends for decades and all her friend wants is for us to be there. Knowing that we are spending our last dime on our wedding, they offered to pay our way to their wedding. We declined the money offer, but we were not offended in the least by the offer. It's in the way you present the offer. They were not calling us poor, they just wanted to do whatever it takes to have us there.

              #7 MelissaH

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                Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:20 PM

                No deal from the travel agent - but that doesn't matter, money's not an issue (for us at least).

                I don't think offended was what I meant...more like embarassed....

                Anywho, she's at work but I called and left her a message and I begged her to think about it....and I mean BEGGED lol

                When she told me that her and her DH couldn't be there the other day we were both in tears...it really breaks my heart that she can't come so I'd honestly do anything to have her there

                #8 Rachelle E.

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                  Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:42 PM

                  Awww...That's so cool that you guys are so close!

                  I'm glad you asked her...I don't think they'll be embarassed or offended at all. I'm sure they'll understand where you're coming from on the situation. They may just have to take some time to think about it, you know?

                  #9 Christine

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                  Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:43 PM

                  well I am glad you offered and I think its great of you to help them get there.
                  Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

                  #10 LCBride2007


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                    Posted 06 March 2007 - 01:48 PM

                    some people aren't good at borrowing money, or allowing others to pay their way. but i'd tell her just what you told us - how important it is for you to have her there on this special day. if she isn't ok with you paying her way, then maybe you can work out some arrangement where she pays you back slowly and/or when she can. if this is just a loan maybe she'll feel better about it! or just offer to pay what she can't, if she can only afford part of it.

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