I hate confrontation
Posted 26 July 2008 - 10:19 AM
Posted 26 July 2008 - 10:33 AM
Posted 26 July 2008 - 10:40 AM
Posted 26 July 2008 - 11:07 AM
Posted 26 July 2008 - 11:08 AM
So my problem is that my manager isn't in right now. Should i email her directly? I'm worried that the email could get into someone's hands that I don't want to see it... I don't know. I'm such a wimpe
Posted 26 July 2008 - 11:30 AM
I hate, hate, HATE work drama. It's so high school and petty. Usually when I don't get along with someone at work I just totally shut them out. She seems like a typical bully. She's looking to get a rise out of you. She knows you won't stand up for yourself and she's zeroing in on that.
You should tell your manager about the situation, I wouldn't cc Mary though. I'd email management and from now on just avoid Mary. If she tries this sh!t again, tell her you will only speak to her with a mediator (management) because of the previous encounter and walk away. Next time she shoots you down in front of others, say that you appreciate her opinion but you stand by your ideas. If you must talk to her about work related stuff keep to the topic and the moment the last sentence is out of your mouth, remove yourself from the room.
I don't really know about the harassment angle but if that's something you want to pursue, you should look into it. Otherwise don't ever give her the satisfaction of knowing that she's gotten to you. As a fellw sensitive person, I know it sucks when someone is being mean to you but you need to develop an "F-you" attitude about it. Who cares what she says. No one believes her and she's just making herself out to be a petty bitch by acting like this. Her attitude is HER problem, not yours.
Posted 26 July 2008 - 11:30 AM
Posted 26 July 2008 - 12:02 PM
That way nothing big is in the email, but the manager knows that I want to talk to her when she gets in on Monday and she'll make time for me to explain what happened.
I bet as soon as she gets in Mary will be high-tailing it to her office. Then again, maybe she won't because maybe she hopes no one will hear about it? I don't know.
Thanks Andrea for the kind words. I am still reeling from how mean people can be to a seemingly quite personable person (myself), but that's the way of the world.
Posted 26 July 2008 - 10:22 PM
And it's sent, so please don't scare me by saying it's the wrong thing at this point! I'm already freaking out that I cc'd Mary on this email!!!!
Mary requested a private meeting yesterday with me and we talked about the problems that weâ€™ve experienced in our working relationship this past year.
While we did not resolve our differences or how everything began, we did â€˜agree to disagreeâ€™.
We also agreed that we would both try to be more respectful toward one another from now on and to move forward towards a better working relationship for the good of the team.
Then I sent a separate email to my manager alone that says this:
I think you are coming in on the 28th and the 29th. I would really like to sit down and talk with you when you have a chance.
I hope youâ€™re having a great holiday!
We are fairly informal at our work. I almost put a smiley, but didn't
And now, in the words of my mother who is into Buddhism: I am goign to take the part of my brain currently obsessing over Mary and shrink it by 50% if possible!
Oh and I'm looking into harassment in the workforce this weekend, reading up on it and in my 1:1 with Judy will talk about that and go to HR too and see their policies about it.
It amazes me that she got me so good that I didn't see what everyone else has seen: that she really crushed me with that 'talk'. I never should have gone itno a room alone iwt her or sat down. I shouldn't have taken it and I really shouldn't be feeling bad about it. It was just one more way of her to harass me and keep me down. All I can think about is "well, we decided and agreed to not talk behind eachother's backs and act well". HA! She is just trying to keep me quiet. NOT GONNA WORK!
My mom was asking about what she would hate me for/ what she would be jealous of or whatever be threatened by and I came up with a few things:
- she's older than me and hates that she's getting old
- I'm young and in love and getting married
- she never had kids (says she hates them, but who knows) and we want to have them in the next few years
- I was managing a new hire this week when the boss was out on vacation
- I am very close to the boss and getting lots of recognition for my current hard work.
So lots. Ha!
Man, I cannot let her burst my bubble for this upcoming week. I was on fire lately and have been doing so well.
Posted 26 July 2008 - 10:32 PM
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