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Grrr...the beginning of MIL drama

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#11 Betsy


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    Posted 15 July 2008 - 11:26 PM

    At this point it sounds like she isn't going to take no for an answer! How annoying! Just tell her you already have everything lined up (witnesses, etc.) actually have FI tell her that. Hope it works out! ARGHH!

    #12 Dez921714

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      Posted 15 July 2008 - 11:36 PM

      UGH! Messy!

      Ok, so I don't like to lie...but maybe tell FMIL that you are just going to get the legal papers here but htey won't be "binding" until what's done in mexico is done...just an idea, don't even know if it'd work
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      #13 KLC77

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        Posted 15 July 2008 - 11:38 PM

        That stinks that you are dealing with this. I agree w/ pp that your FI has to step up and handle this one and just tell her she can't come and she's not missing anything. Tell her you are just signing papers, not having any kind of ceremony that she is missing. Hopefully she gets it...

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        #14 becks



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        Posted 16 July 2008 - 08:46 AM

        I had a bit of the same problem. FIs parents really want to come, but there is no way in h**l they are coming because my parents live across the country and it makes no sense to fly them all the way out here for a 10 minute signing of paperwork. And I've been very explicit with FI's parent - my parents aren't coming and therefore you can't either. I've also been very clear that if they are going to raise a stink about it, then we won't do the legal thing until sometime after we're back from Mexico. So keep that in your back pocket.

        Now they are wanting to take us to dinner that night to celebrate. My response to that was "there's nothing to celebrate... unless you also celebrate things like renewing your driver's license."

        Just make it seem so totally insignificant that any bit of carrying on makes them look dumb. It will work... eventually. But make sure FI is either conveying or fully backing up that message.

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        #15 DanielleNDerek

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          Posted 16 July 2008 - 08:57 AM

          I can't belive your fmil actually looked up the legalities of a mexican wedding, yikes!!! She's crafty. Definately let fi talk to her. Maybe he can explain to her that it's just like signing papers no big deal, no vows or anything special. And like becks mentioned i would tell her that maybe you'll just wait till after Mexico to do it.
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          #16 Bride010101

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            Posted 16 July 2008 - 03:01 PM

            I'm sorry your going through the added stress! I had a similar issue... as we are also getting married here ahead of time. Although we haven't really kept it a secret from anyone, we wanted to downplay the legal bit and avoid turning it into this whole big thing. Our wedidng in jamaica will always be our wedding to us.

            So we planned on doing the small legal thing here and grabbing whoever to come be our witnesses. Since his parents are in Canada and we are in Minnesota and since we were planning on doing it a week or two before the Jamaica trip... we assumed his parents wouldn't even want to come. Well once they caught wind of our plans... they announced they didn't care when it was... but they would be flying down for it. I thought (well still think) it is pretty stupid for them to pay to fly down here for a quick 10 minute thing... when we will see them so soon for Jamaica. But they weren't really budging.

            So I ended up having a talk with FMIL and in doing so realized how important it was to them. Even though Jamaica will be our wedding day to us, it will be in the courthouse that legally we become married. Sean is her baby and she couldn't imagine missing such an important occasion. In the end I didn't feel it was worth adding extra stress and fuss over. So ultimately, I gave in.... and we will be legally married in the presence of both sets of parents and then going out to dinner to celebrate.

            To be honest though, I am now actually excited about the plan and sharing the day with our parents. Plus it will give our families another chance to get together (which doesn't happen that often since we live in separate countries).

            #17 mpajkos

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              Posted 16 July 2008 - 03:24 PM

              As if planning a DW wasn't enough stress... mothers and FMIL really know how to add drama and hassal don't they! I really liked what becks had to say when her FMIL wanted to take them out to dinner after the legal paperwork. "there's nothing to celebrate... unless you also celebrate things like renewing your driver's license."

              #18 ashrose

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                Posted 16 July 2008 - 04:13 PM

                Another jewel to put in your arsonal...

                For the signing of the paperwork - would the parents be there anyway? For my sister's wedding, it was their two witnesses who went to sign the paperwork.

                Hang in there. This must be such a stressful situation on top of all the other stuff you are planning.

                #19 Hartyt509

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                  Posted 16 July 2008 - 05:46 PM

                  Now I may be a bit biased because i can't stand my FMIL lol

                  BUT i'd tell FI to grab a hold of himself and stand up to his mother, its not your job to do that she is bugger all to do with you and HE needs to do it.

                  If he wont then tell her straight, she isn't coming and if she doesn't like it tough shite deal with it. You run your own life she doesn't run it for you.

                  Now I'm evil so I'd tell her the wrong date and place if she really pushed me lmfao

                  Seriously you need to take a stand now or you are in for a lot of crap for the rest of HER life, give her an inch and she'll take a mile - trust me I have one the same lol She doesn't contact me anymore as the conversation usually ends with piss off lol

                  #20 sndyndln

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                    Posted 16 July 2008 - 08:00 PM

                    So I guess I'm gonna agree with everyone else when saying that you guys need to keep your foot planted and stick to what your origional plan was. I wouldn't invite ANY family. That was the decision that you both made, and it's your wedding, not theirs. They already had their own and now it's your turn and what you want. I would however make sure that he is the one telling HIS family and make sure he makes it clear that he agrees and it's not just you telling him to say things. Ugh, family, aren't they a joy!?!?

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