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The BM's girlfriend is driving me nuts!


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#11 Kelly C

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    Posted 13 July 2008 - 08:51 PM

    I would have FI deal with his BM. One of our GM waited to long and no is paying more than everyone else. I just said that was the price 2 months ago sorry.
    Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.

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    #12 Allaballa

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      Posted 13 July 2008 - 10:58 PM

      I'd be upfront about the $100 fee and tell them that the policy is that they may not be able to come and let them make the decision. Its their vacation and if they want to save their money its completely up to them, but they should have all the info straight up.

      #13 Ava

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        Posted 14 July 2008 - 09:12 AM

        Thank you to everyone for your advice!
        I definitely think they have the right to save money, but I feel like this is J's best friend letting him down a bit.
        I'll be upfront and tell her that if they want to stay offsite, there is every possibility she won't be attending!

        #14 Celina

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          Posted 14 July 2008 - 11:53 AM

          Okay Ava - I totally want to give a smackdown to that girl! UGH - I had this happen to us too. Fortunately the one making the fuss is no longer going to our wedding. YAY!!

          This is what we did. I broke down the expense for them. The cost to stay at the RIU was cheaper because at timeshares, you have to pay for food and alcohol. At one hotel the cost for a one-time use of the coffee maker in the hotel room was $9 for a pot of 6 cups of coffee. Even though you can buy food at the timeshare hotels, a bottle of water was $5 and a margarita was $8. Depending on the location of the timeshare, you have to pay for a taxi. The RIU hotels are in the back of Nuevo Vallarta. A taxi from the RIU to downtown was about $18 one way.

          I told everyone that we put a lot of time and effort in 1) finding a hotel that offered the most in a wedding package because it is OUR WEDDING! and 2) we put a lot of time and effort in finding a hotel that was affordable for everyone.

          If they chose to stay at another hotel we would have to have them pay for their own day pass IF we had space because you can only accommodate a certain amount of time share people in your wedding because of the 80/20% ratio required at the RIU hotels.

          Tell them that you have prioritized it and only these guests are staying in time shares are exempt because they are family (or whatever) and that anyone else staying in timeshares can not come to the wedding because they put you over the ratio. Tell them you ARE having your wedding there and that you aren't changing it for them. Be firm. She'll either back down and see the light or she won't come.

          You can always tell her if she doesn't comply that your girls at BDW are going to give her a smackdown!
          "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

          #15 Ava

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            Posted 15 July 2008 - 07:14 PM

            Thanks for the advice Celina! I couldn't care less if she herself can't come, so I will make it clear to her, that she is not a priority.

            #16 Agape Gems

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              Posted 15 July 2008 - 07:28 PM

              Right on Celina!!

              I think sometimes our friends and family forget that even though this is a vacation for them, it's our wedding day and we should be able to have it wherever and however we want and if it's not convenient for them then they don't have to be there. I'm sure this chick doesn't know about the 80/20 rule and once she understands she may ease up on her attitude.
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              #17 Ava

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                Posted 15 July 2008 - 08:02 PM

                Actually, I don't know if she does know about the 80:20 rule, but the best man most certainly does. He didn't seem so worried, just told us to count him as one (didn't mention her!).

                We did make mention of the fee to come onsite, but I can't be sure we have specifically said to HER and not him, that there is an 80:20 rule.

                #18 Agape Gems

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                  Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:46 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Ava
                  Actually, I don't know if she does know about the 80:20 rule, but the best man most certainly does. He didn't seem so worried, just told us to count him as one (didn't mention her!).

                  We did make mention of the fee to come onsite, but I can't be sure we have specifically said to HER and not him, that there is an 80:20 rule.
                  Men are never worried about any of this stuff!! They just don't get it. I would just make it clear to both of them that there is a big possibility that she may not be allowed on property. Plus, the BM should be around to have fun with the groom in the days before the wedding! IMHO

                  If all else fails, just slap her!
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                  #19 Ava

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                    Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:49 PM

                    I think that's why I'm so mad! I feel like he's letting J down!

                    Slapping her is a real possibility, I'll let you know if I win!

                    #20 Agape Gems

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                      Posted 17 July 2008 - 12:15 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Ava

                      Slapping her is a real possibility, I'll let you know if I win!
                      LOL I got yo back!
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