Wedding party issues....Argh!!!
Posted 11 July 2008 - 04:29 AM
Here is the issue that I am having. We told everyone back in Oct to start saving their $ to go, and FBIL has yet to pay his deposit. I mentioned it before to him and he said he didn't have $ yet, and thatn he could probably get it cheaper if he waits. I talked to his FI last week and told her that if he didn't book soon, he was going to be out of the wedding party, because we need to know who is in and who is not. I talked to him tonight and asked him when he was going to pay his deposit and he said he didn't have $. I told him he better hurry up because the plane is almost booked, and he told me "there are other flights down there." I told him there weren't and he told me "oh, I'm sure there are". It went back and forth and finally I said "Okay Mr world traveller. Trust me when I say that there is only one flight a week that goes down there. In Dec another company starts their trips down there, but that is too late." That shut him up! So I am think I will tell him that if he doesn't book by the end of the month, he is still more than welcome to come to the wedding, but he won't be in the wedding party. I am also going to tell him that if he wants to stay elsewhere because it is cheaper, he will be responsible for the cost of the day passes to come to our resort!!!!
Do you think I am being to Bridezilla on him? Oh yeah, he also plans on bringing his 3 girls too!!!! How he can afford that when he can't even afford to pay his deposit of $250 I don't know!
Posted 11 July 2008 - 05:23 AM
I don't know that you're being too harsh...you are in a unique position where there is only 1 flight a week, right? Much different from my case where there were several flights a day so I let my wedding party lag. In the end some didn't make it for various reasons but there were still flights available days before the wedding...one of my guests booked one the same day she left!
My optimistic side says he'll make it by the skin of his teeth.
My jaded side says he's not coming. He means well and probably has convinced himself that he and his 3 girls will make it, but they won't. Plan on him not being there and if he miraculously pops up then look for flying pigs. LOL sorry but I've sooooo been through this and bottomline people will always disappoint!
Posted 11 July 2008 - 09:13 AM
I just know if my sis didn't book yet that i would want to at least give her the benefit of the doubt and hold out a little longer because it's really important for her to be my moh. KWIM?
Posted 11 July 2008 - 01:47 PM
Danielle - FI tried telling him to book once and he had some comment about getting it cheaper or something or that there was lots of time, so FI told him if he didn't want to come, then just to say so!
Yesterday I told FI to let his brother know he has till the end of the month if he wants to be in the party, and he didn't want to talk to him, but told me too. FI is the baby of the family and sometimes has a hard time standing up for himself with family. If he does stand up for himself, then it is usually a big blow up between the family member and him.
Posted 11 July 2008 - 02:18 PM
Posted 12 July 2008 - 10:50 AM
Posted 12 July 2008 - 11:01 AM
| Originally Posted by dragonfly |
I think you should just relax and let your fh hold on to the hope of his brother being an intregal part of your beautiful day. If it happens wonderful, if not what is truly the harm.
I just know from my experience that you sort of have to think about it that way. The night before I left for my wedding my cousin told me that she and her two kids would be there (and they were in the wedding, programs printed, the whole deal). I get to Mexico and they never showed up. If I believed her all along I would have been genuinely hurt and I would have missed them that day.
Instead it was more of an "oh well, that's what I thought" moment the day before and I didn't think about any of them on the wedding day because I was too busy having fun with the people who were there
Posted 12 July 2008 - 04:10 PM
Posted 12 July 2008 - 05:52 PM
My Mom is making the bridesmaid dresses, and if both him and FI other friend book and are in the wedding party, then FBIL's FI will stand up for me as well to even it out. I don't want my Mom to sew a dress it isn't going to be needed, and I don't want her to have to rush and get one done right before we leave. He was asked in Oct to be in the wedding and was told to save his $, and when we booked in March, he was told about it right away and was told to pay the deposit. The way I see it, how can you commit to a wedding if you can't commit to the trip involved with the wedding?
FBIL gets paid on the 17th and the 31st, so I would think that he should at least be able to pay his deposit, and he can worry about the girls deposits once he knows if they can come too.
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