dh and new job vent - help!
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:18 PM
he now has no quality of life. asking him to help with dinner is like asking him to walk the plank. i asked him to get a tarp out from under our back porch, which is covered in webs and grossness and he said no b/c he didn't feel like it. i'm going to a wedding by myself in a few weeks b/c he can't take the time off even tho he knew about the date before taking the job. he can't even have a conversation - he literally said 3 words to me after dinner and i had to remind him to say goodnight, causing us to have the same argument we've had every day since he started.
i don't have a right to be pissed or annoyed - he says he likes this job, and it pays the bills - but i can't help it. how does he not see that he has no quality of life? during the school year we'll be ok b/c i'll go to sleep at the same time as him, but it's just us for now. what happens when we have kids and they don't see their dad?
how do i make this work when it clearly sucks SO much? how can i adjust to this change when he's not doing a damn thing to adjust?
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:21 PM
I assume he's commuting to Manhattan?? What does he do again? I apologize - I missed the thread about the new job...
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:22 PM
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:24 PM
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:28 PM
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:28 PM
We've decided to work on it. He is giving me weekends and I try to understand. Remember when you start work again you will be busy too. Right now you are on vacation and he isn't, this is what Erik says to me.
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:29 PM
Not being able to spend time with the one you love, sucks. I know that!
Jay doesn't like when he is home and it's during the school year because I get home arond 4ish and am in bed by 8. Well, not normally, but last time he was home I was because I was SUPER tired because I was in my first trimester.
I hope it gets better for you soon!
Posted 30 June 2008 - 11:57 PM
Brian works CRAZY hours. He's a paramedic so he's at work more often than he's at home. He works as a paramedic during the nightshift (7pm - 7am)and basically works 6 days out of the week. Because of his night schedule, even when he's home during the day, he's not "here" because he's sleeping.
I'm pretty used to it by now so it doesn't bother me. Sometimes though we get into fights about it just because I'd like to do more stuff as a family and he's always so tired. But he does make a pretty good effort to do stuff with Aiden. Like today he only got about 4 hours of sleep between his work shifts because he went to Aiden's ped appointment with me and did some stuff around the house. I know he's tired though, so I try not to get on his case too much about it.
Bottomline... it's rough, but give it a little more time. Having some "me" time can be a nice thing!
Posted 01 July 2008 - 12:09 AM
| Originally Posted by lauren c. |
hopefully after a few weeks of doing this, he'll adjust and not have to go to bed at 10...in the meantime, this blows.
It's a 3 day weekend coming up so make-up with some super QT
Posted 01 July 2008 - 01:19 AM
I never get sick of it, either. I couldn't imagine hardly seeing him or getting to spend time with him.
Chin up. Hopefully this is just a stopover to bigger and better things!
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