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MelissaH

Last name confusion!

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Girls, one of my friends had a similar situation, her hubby's last name wasn't very significant to him since his father had dissapeared from his life early on and his mom changed his name to hers, but not legally - it was a mess! Since they were both going to have to do something about their legal names, they ended up creating a new last name. It is a combo of both of their last names...so they both changed their names! It began as hyphenated, but over the years they just let it run together....

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I am super excited to change my last name. Like one of the ladies said it feels like "Family." Don't get me wrong. I love my last name. It has been identity for so long and it is SUPER unique, but non the less I want to change it so that we are Mr. and Mrs. .......

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I'm not taking my fiance's last name. We will be Mr. X and Ms. Y. Our kids will have my last name as their middle name and his last name for their last name. I know that occasionally I will get addressed as Mrs. X and I will probably only correct it if it is for a legal issue or someone I anticipate havning more than one interaction with. I actually like the sound of his last name better than mine, but I don't want to change because I already have a perfectly good name that's part of my identity. Call me a feminist, but I don't understand why I as a woman would even be expected to change my last name. It seems so weird to me. I enjoy following traditions when I believe in the purpose behind them, but I don't follow them without questioning their meaning. So far I have read tons of arguments for doing it and none of them have convinced me to do it myself. My sister got married 14 years ago, didn't change her name and has two kids. Her husband and her children have not suffered in any way at work, school, hospital, etc. I think it is a personal choice and if you want to change it, change it, but if you don't, don't even stress about it.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mexicomelissa View Post
I need some serious advice...
This has been weighing on my mind since before we got engaged (so about a year now) and now it's getting down to crunch time and I don't know what to do...

I don't know whether to keep my last name or take my FH's last name!

- For one, I LIKE my last name - I've had it for 24 years, it suits me, and it's mine, ya know?? It's just a part of who I am!
- Secondly, I don't like the sound of his last name with my first name - it just sounds weird.
- Thirdly, hyphenating our two names just sounds ridiculous.
-And last, but not least, his last name doesn't even mean anything to him (according to him!). He knows no one on his dad's side of the family and his dad hasn't been a part of his life since he was young and he has no desire to welcome his dad back into his life.

He says it wouldn't offend him if I didn't take his last name, but I think I'd end up feeling really guilty about it. Help me girls! I have a month to make up my mind!! What would you do? :
Melissa - did you decide on what you're going to do?

I can't wait to be Mrs. Green! It's so easy to spell and pronounce compared to my current last name. Although it does sound a lil weird cuz I'm not used to it.

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ooh i totally forgot about this thread hehe

 

yup i decided that i'm going to take his last name but keep mine as a middle name just like a lot of you suggested - thanks so much for that - i think it was a really good compromise :)

 

i already started filling out my name change form!!

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this may sound really strange, but has anyone ever thought about changing there first name at the same time as they change their last name? (I've heard when you get married you can change your name to whatever you want)

 

Anyway, what I mean is that my name is Jill, I've always wished it was Jillian, so I could choose to go by either one. FI thinks I'm nuts, he's like I'll call you Jillian if you want me to, but I've been thinking of changing that at the same time, does that seem strange??

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Jill- Not at all! I don't think that's strange in the least bit. If that's what you have always wanted what a better time than to do it at the same time.

 

I didn't even know there were name changes forms. Where do you get these forms melissa? How long do they take to process? AHH just what i need - more stinkin' paperwork!

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Technically you can change your name (any part of it) to anything you want at any time! I think it's more of a hassle if it's not for a marriage, divorce, etc. - but you can do it!

 

For me (I am sure it's different in CAN) there are a crap load of forms - basically something different for every place you have to change your name (DMV, passport, credit cards, frequent flyer accounts, hotel accounts, financial institutions, job, etc.). Which is why I thought about not changing my at all this time (I've been married before) - but FI didn't love that idea!

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Ann - do you think because I'm moving to Florida I will have to complete those forms too?

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AHH never mind above, that was a dumb question! I WILL have to do the paper work in the states but I'll have to look into Canada as well. BOO-URNS

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