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My FI says "he is feeling trapped"...


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#41 DanielleNDerek

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    Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:17 PM

    Me and my fi have the same sex issues. i put on about 20lbs in the past 2 yrs (well now i'm losing it) and just don't feel that sexy. And i've been tired a lot too. my fi gained but his mojo is still the same.
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    #42 Maura

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    Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:28 PM

    dez, have you ever had your thyroid checked?

    #43 Dez921714

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      Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:29 PM

      UGH! He doesn't want to go to therapy...because "he just got out of therapy"
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      #44 boscobel

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        Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:29 PM

        Ya know, sometimes men just say things that they don't mean. Like last night, Matt and I were getting snippy with each other and he said "Shit, if this is what it's like to be married..." And I got all mad, like "what, you don't want to be married to me?" But in reality, we were just not happy at the moment and he said something hurtful. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

        But I agree with all that has been said - def take time off the wedding talk. Don't continue just b/c other people made deposits. Take some time for yourselves.

        Good luck!

        #45 Dez921714

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          Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:29 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Maura
          dez, have you ever had your thyroid checked?
          Several times...it's fine...I wish I could blame a medical reason...but it's because I used to walk a lot and be really careful what I ate...I don't walk as much not and I picked up FI's eating habbits
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          #46 Yari

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            Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:32 PM

            I understand about gaining weight and not feeling "Sexy". Sometimes the last thing I want to do is have sex cause I feel like a fat piece of lard.

            I am so sorry you are going through this.

            #47 KarmaB

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              Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:50 PM

              Ok, now that we have a little more back story, I can see why he might be acting like this. I really think before anything else you need to get him back on his proper dosage of medication. If he stopped the pills suddenly he was not properly weaned and it can cause him to go into a deeper depression. I'm assuming it's depression that he is going through. He needs to get back on a therapeutic dosage before he can even think about working through problems. People who are depressed don't think rationally and the more stress you put on them the more they shut down.

              I think you are doing a great job in being there for him and I know once he starts feeling better he is going to appreciate you so much. Just try to not take any of it personal.

              I'm working on becoming a psychologist, and have been around a lot of depressed people. I know it's difficult, hang in there.

              #48 Dez921714

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                Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:57 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by FutureMrsB
                Ok, now that we have a little more back story, I can see why he might be acting like this. I really think before anything else you need to get him back on his proper dosage of medication. If he stopped the pills suddenly he was not properly weaned and it can cause him to go into a deeper depression. I'm assuming it's depression that he is going through. He needs to get back on a therapeutic dosage before he can even think about working through problems. People who are depressed don't think rationally and the more stress you put on them the more they shut down.

                I think you are doing a great job in being there for him and I know once he starts feeling better he is going to appreciate you so much. Just try to not take any of it personal.

                I'm working on becoming a psychologist, and have been around a lot of depressed people. I know it's difficult, hang in there.
                Thanks! I'll try not to take it personally but it's really hard. I convinced him to get his prescription filled and then I got annoyed when he cut them in half and he yelled at me for getting annoyed and told me not to worry about his pills. So that's the last I said to him about it and the last I will say to him about it.

                I told him last year that if any of my friends were with a man and being treated the way I was being treated, I'd tell them to get out of that relationship...it kinda opened his eyes and he finally went to a therapist. I'm starting to feel that way again and it's not a good feeling.
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                #49 Hartyt509

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                  Posted 26 June 2008 - 03:01 PM

                  If you really feel that strongly about it - and him not taking care of his own health needs is interferring with everything spell it out to him very clearly.

                  You are not putting up with his crap if he isn't willing to help himself you can't do anymore. Stand firm - as harsh as it sounds he needs a right royal kick up the arse and unfortunately you need to do it.

                  I'd also tell his family to keep him out of the loop of whatever they are bitching about because its killing his life.

                  You're strong you'll lose the weight and beat his ass into submission I have faith in you xx

                  #50 Dez921714

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                    Posted 26 June 2008 - 03:04 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Hartyt509
                    If you really feel that strongly about it - and him not taking care of his own health needs is interferring with everything spell it out to him very clearly.

                    You are not putting up with his crap if he isn't willing to help himself you can't do anymore. Stand firm - as harsh as it sounds he needs a right royal kick up the arse and unfortunately you need to do it.

                    I'd also tell his family to keep him out of the loop of whatever they are bitching about because its killing his life.

                    You're strong you'll lose the weight and beat his ass into submission I have faith in you xx
                    I love how blunt you are and you always make me laugh lol :)
                    http://ticker.7910.o....25vdCBpbiA.gif27 Confirmed with Plane Tickets...5 with rooms booked!

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