My FI says "he is feeling trapped"...
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:08 PM
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:15 PM
I don't know how I would react if Jay told me he was getting cold feet. I think I would walk away and not turn around until he knew his feet were "warm" again. And, like you, I wouldn't want to be in the same house with someone that wasn't sure if they wanted to marry me.
Do not let the fact that people have put down deposits on your wedding stop you from thinking about your future!
Everyone has little bumps in the road...I hope this is a little one that you guys can get over together!
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:16 PM
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:17 PM
someone earlier had asked if there was more to the story? only you knows that answer, so try to be honest about the relationship, and you just have to make sure this is the right thing for you two. but at the same time, you dont wana over analyze or read into it too much, b/c that when us women over react, lol. people have tuff times and again, thats normal. just as long as its a healthy relationship and you are truly happy with him, it will pass. i hope it's just a bump in the road and that you get through it. i dont know u guys personally but i do think this will pass. hope u feel better.
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:20 PM
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:24 PM
I'm a total neat freak and Brian is the polar opposite. We fight about this all the time. And although it is it's own issue (ie. I don't want to spend the rest of my life picking up after him) that totally had nothing to do why I felt trapped.
His feelings of being trapped probably have something more to do with the fact that marriage is a huge commitment. You are legally commiting yourself to someone. If things get rough, you can't just runaway or breakup (well, you can, but it's harder to do!). If he's a very independent type of person, to him marriage may also feel like a loss of some of that independence. Wedding talk is just another reminder of all his fears about marriage. I think some type of mediated conversation (i.e marriage counselor) would benefit you a lot.
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:30 PM
BIG HUG TO YOU GIRL!!
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:32 PM
Posted 26 June 2008 - 12:38 PM
Every relationship is going to have arguments and disagreements. It's how you handle them that counts. I think his attempt to give you that card was his way of trying to make up with you. Not all men are great at direct communication.
I agree with the girls that talking to a therapist would be great. Everyone can benefit from some premarital counseling. Good luck, Sweetie. I hope you start feeling better soon!
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