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My FI says "he is feeling trapped"...

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#91 BarefootBride

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    Posted 04 July 2008 - 04:53 AM

    Wow! Since we have been engaged there has been no doubt. If any, its me hoping that I will a good wife. FI is SUPER excited to get married. He brings it up all the time! I purposely don't bring wedding plans up. I think we discussed it about 4 times since October and in 25 days or so we will be married or as he say hes gonna "Marry me REALLLLL GOOD"
    HOWEVER - before we got engaged we broke up for a few months. I started doing "my thing" and somehow after a summer of being apart (we still communicated often) we got back together with the intentions of getting married and nothing in between.
    If your FI feels trapped, maybe he really needs to have control over his future. What I mean is, usually when people feel "trapped" they feel as if they are not being valued in some way and have not voice. I cant suggest anything but I wish you two luck!

    #92 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 04 July 2008 - 08:11 AM

      Originally Posted by Dez921714
      For the record...I work 2 jobs, do the laundry, mow the lawn, do the dishes, cook most nights, vacuum, take care of the dogs.

      He works as a mechanic...comes home and naps...He has a "physical" job

      But I'm the one who isn't doing enough. I think I've had enough!

      I'm going to look into a therapist for myself. I need to take care of myself and my dogs. He's a big boy, he'll figure things out for himself, even if it's too late when he does.
      Sorry your going through this sweetie but i'm glad you realize you need to worry about yourself.

      He's being an ass right now. He shouldn't treat you like that.

      Unfortunately some people don't know what they go till it's gone, hopefully he won't be one of them.
      ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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      #93 Dez921714

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        Posted 04 July 2008 - 01:31 PM

        OK, so I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not, but I need to do something for him to get the idea that this is no OK and I am not a doormat.

        I'm at my parents right now. Although my dad isn't crazy about the two dogs (he's afraid of them) he left it up to my mom. My mom and I cleared out half of the basement where I'll put my blowup mattress. I promised to take the girls for long walks 3-4 times a day to tire them out and basically keep them in the basement...they'll be allowed in the yard, on a lead, if I'm in the yard (they can get out from the yard). My parents have 2 cats and will be dog sitting for my sister for 2 weeks, so this is going to be interesting.

        So, I'm heading home to get my clothes, mattress and dogs...considering he missed the dogs when we were away from them for 3 days, lets see how he does without them or me for a week or 2. I'll let you know how it goes, especially if he's home when I get there.
        http://ticker.7910.o....25vdCBpbiA.gif27 Confirmed with Plane Tickets...5 with rooms booked!

        150 INVITES / 6 YES / 13 NO

        #94 *Heather*


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          Posted 04 July 2008 - 01:35 PM

          Good luck...we'll be thinking about you!

          #95 Chiquita

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            Posted 04 July 2008 - 01:58 PM

            omg.. I'm so sorry you are going through this.. hopefully once you are gone out of the house he will smarten up a bit!

            #96 Hartyt509

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              Posted 04 July 2008 - 02:02 PM

              Good luck chick - just remember you are doing this for YOU and YOU will not be a dormat for any twat!!! xxx

              #97 Sandra E.

              Sandra E.
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                Posted 04 July 2008 - 03:50 PM

                Dez, good luck! We're right here for you.

                #98 lucy106

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                  Posted 04 July 2008 - 06:10 PM

                  I hope all went ok when you got your stuff!! I am so sorry you are being put through this!!

                  #99 Martha

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                    Posted 04 July 2008 - 06:17 PM

                    Good luck, Dez. Maybe this is what you both need. I hope you are doing okay...

                    #100 NewOrleansbride

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                      Posted 04 July 2008 - 06:21 PM

                      Good luck, Dez! I hope everything works out. Anytime you need to talk we'll be here.

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