Not ONE of my future in laws have booked yet!

[LEIGH]

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Originally Posted by jilly76 Leigh I have a similar situation. A few weeks ago FI got into an argument with his father, because for some reason his family always has to butt into our lives, when they should really just be concerned about their own. So anyway, his sister called and they argued, his brother called and they argued, the only one that didn't get involved was his mother. So now he went from talking to his sister several times a week to not at all and he calls his brother, but I think his brother is taking his dads side, so even though he said he is going, he hasn't booked either and I think its for this reason. I feel really bad for FI because my family is all booked and none of his family is. I want to mention it to him, but I just don't want to make him feel worse. I think everyone is right though, we both have a lot of time. Because of the special I thought a lot more people would have booked too, but some people are booking on their own. So we just have to remember that our wedding day is about us, and not about any of our inconsiderate friends or family.

I know Jilly..
I just don't understand why family can't be happy for us instead of arguing and trying to make points about all of this....FINE, if they don't want to come, or don't want to be involved, then thats their loss! My FI have talked about this several times....we are just different i guess! If one of his sisters got married, we would just make it work and NO one would have to ask us twice to be a part of it! (even if we didn't want to) we would be there for them! My mom always taught me to treat others the way that you would want to be treated! I think that's why it hurts my feelings at this point...Because they have already point blank said they would NOT be there...and didn't really give a reason. We would probably even help out financially if they even acted like it something about $$$...But i'll tell you one thing, I'm not begging anyone to be there....this is our special day....we don't have any time for negative people in our lives!

[A10CalGal]

Ditto what all the girls said. You really have so much time to go before you should worry about people not booking. I know it doesn't feel that way - I totally know you need the validation from people that they are coming, but realize that most people don't book vacations this far in advance. You will see a surge in the 8 weeks preceeding your wedding, at least that's been my experience. It sucks for budgeting purposes, I know!

 

I will also add that I don't have much family coming to our wedding either...but really all the great friends that are coming are family to me anyway. I am disappointed that my dripping with money aunt & uncle aren't making it because they are "moving" on that weekend - I just don't get it...but OH WELL!!

[*JillD*]

you know what I don't get, is that if one of my friends said they were getting married in mexico, we would be so excited, maybe this is because we love to travel. And even though we might not have the money we would save it and budget and make it work so we could be there. And I have to say the majority of FI's friends are excited about it and making every effort to come.

 

I think its the perfect excuse for a vacation, even just a long weekend, why don't other people see it this way?

[anaderoux]

I agree with the other girls.. you don't have to worry yet! they're still in time!

[LEIGH]

you know what I don't get, is that if one of my friends said they were getting married in mexico, we would be so excited, maybe this is because we love to travel. And even though we might not have the money we would save it and budget and make it work so we could be there. And I have to say the majority of FI's friends are excited about it and making every effort to come.

 

I know.... All of our friends that are more like family anyway are all coming and very supportive....They are probably the reason why I'm like...."Our closest friends are coming, so why can't his own blood come and be happy for us?!" Yeah, we have a few couples that booked first, and they really don't even have the money to go...they just want to be there for us, and also treat themselves to a vacation! It just makes his family look that much worse I guess..... I thought for sure that his sisters would be there to support him with the idea that they are the only family members (other than our closest friends) to be there since his parents can't.

Life goes on I guess, it just kind of proves a big point to me with all of his siblings ya know?!

[Christine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jilly76 you know what I don't get, is that if one of my friends said they were getting married in mexico, we would be so excited, maybe this is because we love to travel. And even though we might not have the money we would save it and budget and make it work so we could be there. And I have to say the majority of FI's friends are excited about it and making every effort to come. I think its the perfect excuse for a vacation, even just a long weekend, why don't other people see it this way?

Jilly, this is exactly what I talked to my FI when we re-chose our location because honestly my FI is a budget guy and yes if it was a really good friend I would put it on credit to go, but my FI would not. I have a friend who is like a sister getting married this year in April and I am going alone because my FI refuses to spend the money on a flight and dog sitting (this is also because he doesn't have a job right now).
I know that in our minds we tell ourselves that we would go no matter what, and I think a lot of my friends and family did also, but when they really looked at how it would affect them, they realized it would be very difficult and I personally would never want anyone to go into debt for my wedding.
As for those people who have the money and travel otherwise, it might be the case that the particular location is not appealing to them or that they are just stuborn and want the free food for a traditional wedding.
I think that no matter what, we all chose our destinations for a reason and we should enjoy our day. People who cannot make it will miss out on a great time. So too bad for them!!!

[TammyWright]

Leigh, it is so hard to not get your feelings hurt when family and friends can't make it...but just think of all the people that will make the long trip to your wedding...also, dont give up on your family yet...sometimes family can be such slackers...but they may come through!!

[LEIGH]

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Originally Posted by Soon to be Mrs. Hull Jilly, this is exactly what I talked to my FI when we re-chose our location because honestly my FI is a budget guy and yes if it was a really good friend I would put it on credit to go, but my FI would not. I have a friend who is like a sister getting married this year in April and I am going alone because my FI refuses to spend the money on a flight and dog sitting (this is also because he doesn't have a job right now). I know that in our minds we tell ourselves that we would go no matter what, and I think a lot of my friends and family did also, but when they really looked at how it would affect them, they realized it would be very difficult and I personally would never want anyone to go into debt for my wedding. As for those people who have the money and travel otherwise, it might be the case that the particular location is not appealing to them or that they are just stuborn and want the free food for a traditional wedding. I think that no matter what, we all chose our destinations for a reason and we should enjoy our day. People who cannot make it will miss out on a great time. So too bad for them!!!

Yeah, I'm thinking along that direction myself now....It's just a big pill to swallow!!!!!! I think that my FI and I agree on the same idea at this point....If you don't want to be there for this one, it's your choice but we are still gonna have fun without you!

[A10CalGal]

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Originally Posted by sydskyga ... we have a few couples that booked first, and they really don't even have the money to go...they just want to be there for us, and also treat themselves to a vacation!

I witnessed the same phenomenon. A friend from college & her husband booked right away, so they could have time to pay for it - and they are making a vaca out of it. They both just switched jobs & relocated & aren't the best when it comes to budgeting - yet they were the first to book! Same thing w/my MOH - she's got a little boy, is dealing with a crappy husband & just had to sell her house - she was the 2nd to book way back in July or August. Weird, huh?

[LEIGH]

Quote:

Originally Posted by A10CALGAL I witnessed the same phenomenon. A friend from college & her husband booked right away, so they could have time to pay for it - and they are making a vaca out of it. They both just switched jobs & relocated & aren't the best when it comes to budgeting - yet they were the first to book! Same thing w/my MOH - she's got a little boy, is dealing with a crappy husband & just had to sell her house - she was the 2nd to book way back in July or August. Weird, huh?

Yeah, it's very interesting to me when it comes to this sort of stuff....It's kind of cool though how it all works out! When we went to the Moon in CAncun back in August, we me this wonderful couple who were on their honeymoon...and THEY are even coming!!!!
odd!