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Hard time about DW anyone?


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#1 PaulaV

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    Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:02 PM

    Have you had a family member give you a hard time about having a destination wedding?

    It's hard to just plan as I want because she is my sister and I want here there

    Help!

    #2 amyh

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      Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:14 PM

      Hi Paula!

      I'm sure everyone has/ or is having this problem. When we first began asking friends and family about having a DW, he heard a lot of negativity. My mom said I was crazy, FI fam is still complaining about the costs, and ou can even find a thread that I started where I vented about my brother and SIL giving me a hard time about it. But little by little everyone is coming around. My family is so excited because we are (hopefully) going to have a huge turn out, approx 150ppl.

      Give it time. Once they start hearing the details and seeing that its all coming together, they'll come around.

      #3 MrsV-to-be

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        Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:15 PM

        That's a tough one Paula.
        My FI's parents and brother are giving us a tough time about it - we were told we were inconsiderate to want to go away to get married, because then not everyone can come. Which is kind of unfair! We have always wanted to get married on a beach with a small intimate group of people, so we just made the decision that we were going through with it no matter what. But we also made the decision that this could me not everyone we love and want to be there - will be there.

        Is there a reason why your sister is giving you a tough time? Is there something that can be done, that you are willing to do, to accomodate her concerns?

        #4 PaulaV

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          Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:29 PM

          It was financial reasons. I told her we would try to help out. She still thinks it is inconsiderate of us for the rest of the family.

          We did not find a place we liked here in Columbus. All of our guests but her and my SIL would be traveling to where ever it is that we have it, including several friends that would be coming from Mexico City.

          I have been so excited about a DW and then today she made me feel horrible for wanting a DW.

          #5 PaulaV

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            Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:33 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by amyhmartin
            Hi Paula!

            I'm sure everyone has/ or is having this problem. When we first began asking friends and family about having a DW, he heard a lot of negativity. My mom said I was crazy, FI fam is still complaining about the costs, and ou can even find a thread that I started where I vented about my brother and SIL giving me a hard time about it. But little by little everyone is coming around. My family is so excited because we are (hopefully) going to have a huge turn out, approx 150ppl.

            Give it time. Once they start hearing the details and seeing that its all coming together, they'll come around.

            Wow! 150 people?! How wonderful!!!

            #6 *JillD*

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              Posted 12 February 2007 - 11:48 PM

              Paula I think we've all heard negativity from family and friends. Some people love the idea (mostly our friends) but others (like one of my best friends that is pregant) has made me feel really shitty, because she won't be able to come. (she's having twins in april, babies will only be 6 months old)

              We just keep reminding ourselves that this is OUR wedding, no one else's, and we would love to have everyone with us, but realize that there will still be people that just can't come, and we're okay with that.

              #7 PaulaV

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                Posted 13 February 2007 - 12:03 AM

                Thank you for the reminder :)

                It is our wedding and I have to keep that present since I seem to wander off into what will be good for everyone else...

                #8 *JillD*

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                  Posted 13 February 2007 - 12:25 AM

                  Thats right its your wedding and only the two of you know what you really want and if its a DW then thats what you should do. I know its not easy, I felt like cancelling ours when I found out my sister was pregnant and couldn't come because it was important to me that she be there. But if we had our wedding here, we wouldn't be able to get married for 3 years, we'd need that long just to save up all the money we'd have to spend, and we wouldn't be very happy about shelling out all that money for one day.

                  we were very worried about cost for people as well and thats why we chose a resort that was reasonable and AI so that it wouldn't be a huge burden for our guests.

                  I would worry about the two of you first, what you want, where you want to go, if it will be okay with you if everyone can't make it, and that will help you make the right decision for you.

                  #9 starchild

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                    Posted 13 February 2007 - 02:25 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by jilly76
                    We just keep reminding ourselves that this is OUR wedding, no one else's, and we would love to have everyone with us, but realize that there will still be people that just can't come, and we're okay with that.
                    I so agree. We knew from day one that many people could not come, and we kind of liked that as we wanted a small wedding. As it turns out, people we knew would come no matter what have declined for various reasons and it is what it is. Don't worry about pleasing anyone else, it is all about you and your husband who will be looking at your wedding album in 20 years thrilled that you had it your way instead of at some local venue for others' sakes.

                    #10 lambert13

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                      Posted 13 February 2007 - 11:08 AM

                      Karen and I are going to Mexico by ourselves to get married. Some people are truly happy for us, while others, like my father, are pissed.

                      He made a comment the other day that "after all of the years of care and support as a father, I pay him back by not inviting him to my wedding".

                      That made me feel wonderful

                      Its not that we dont want anyone there. We just want it to be the two of us. If that makes any sense.




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