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Someone Talk Me Back Into My DW

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#11 Yvette

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    Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:49 PM

    have you already sent out invitations?

    honestly i don't think you have to worry about it too much. we thought it would just be really close fam & friends at first then everyone said they were coming. well guess what? we are only 5 months away and only have a handful of people booked. i really don't think we will have the big turn out we were expecting, which is fine with me because i am just like you. i just want a small ceremony on the beach. we will prob have a party next summer, a potluck party in the park sort of thing, which is one of the reasons why people wont be coming. as long as they get a chance to celebrate with you most will chose the home party instead of the costly vacation.

    #12 h&a

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      Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:49 PM

      Originally Posted by timelsel
      We have a very large family on both sides also, but only 18 ended up going to the wedding. We had 300 at the AHR, though.

      Unfortunately, I can guarantee that all those guys (groomsmen and friends) and your mom's sisters won't come. You'll be lucky if half go. When they see the prices of the resort plus airfare, they will start to backpeddle. The ones we were most sure would come (and could definitely could afford it) were the ones with the lamest excuses for not coming.
      I completely agree. In the beginning everybody is on board, but chances are a lot of people will not end up coming.... and while I knew our immediate family would come to our DW there were a few others I was positive would make it (and could have afforded it) that didn't come, and then some who I never thought would make it that put everything aside to be there.
      Bottom line - do what you want to do and try not to stress about what others will do. If you have your heart set on a DW then do it.

      #13 *Casey*

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        Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:00 PM

        I've even thought about my FI and I just going for a 3 day weekend, just the two of us... Get married... then going back to Dallas and do the wedding and reception there with everyone... My mom might kill me though.

        #14 Jacqueline

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          Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:19 PM

          Originally Posted by kacie3344
          I've even thought about my FI and I just going for a 3 day weekend, just the two of us... Get married... then going back to Dallas and do the wedding and reception there with everyone... My mom might kill me though.
          you could always have just you two and your parents, ? and have the recept in dallas like you said. but i have a feeling thats not want you REALLY want, ? u know best of what you truely want so i'd do whatever that is. and i do agree that most people wont be able to make it so it might not be that many peop's.

          ah this is tuff, sorry :o(

          #15 can't wait!

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            Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:22 PM

            Don't give up! I went through the exact same thing. My heart was set on a beautiful beach wedding. I've always wanted it. And my FH and I talked about a "small, intimate" gathering. Well, we couldn't avoid it and everyone, I mean everyone, was asking if they could come. Soooo, just like you, I started looking at places near my hometown. Even went on a site visit at this really nice resort. But, my heart just wasn't in it. So, we stuck with the DW and guess what, about 30 people who told us were coming, aren't! And this is my immediate family I'm talking about. Trust me. They all say, we'll come. But now, when it's time to book, no one has. And I understand because the economy is so bad. Airfares are through the roof.

            I suggest you go forward with what you've always dreamed of. You only get married once and you truly never know how many people will come. Don't try to please everyone because you'll never achieve it. Please yourself. Everyone else will have to make do.
            Chin up!!!

            #16 EricaG

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              Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:35 PM

              We have talked about a DW since before we were even offically engaged. People have always said that they would be there, especially if we gave them a years notice. Well, we are engaged, gave everyone a years notice, and most of them aren't coming for one reason or another. Then there are the ones that still say they are coming, yet haven't booked and I am not totally convinced they will ever do so.

              In the end you need to do what you want to do. If it is getting really expensive having so many people, is there anyway that you could look at other resorts that won't cost you for the extra people? I know of some resorts in RM that won't charge for the extra people if all the guests are willing to give up an a la carte reservation for the wedding. Are you set on a wedding in Mexico? Or are you willing to look at other places? I know that in the DR we don't have to pay anything for the reception. It is all included.
              I see you are from the states, so I guess Cuba is out of the question then. That is another beautiful place that has everything included.
              My wedding review of the Grand Palladium Palace, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

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              #17 jajajaja

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                Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:45 PM

                I have a HUGE close family too. My mom has 6 sisters so that makes for 26 cousins. I invited them all. I ended up having 1 aunt, 2 cousins, my grand parents, my parents and my sister. I thought they would all come too since we are all so close. Nope- one aunt even planned a vacation to Cabo the week before our wedding in PV. Trust me- they won't come like you think they will.

                Everyone has basically hit the points that I was going to hit. Just follow your heart. :)
                Happily married since 2008

                #18 FYB87

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                  Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:07 PM

                  Originally Posted by kacie3344
                  Hey Everyone,

                  I am really having second thoughts about having a DW now. All I've ever said that I wanted was a DW on a beautiful beach with beautiful water, close friends and family. Well, the small 20 person crowd I imagined is now growing to more like 50. I really wanted to go back to Texas after the wedding for a reception where we could have a big party with all of our friends not at the wedding. And the reception is where I expected to really shell out the bucks, but with the DW guest list growing, it'll be almost just as expensive.

                  So today i've been looking at places outside of Dallas in order to have some kind of feeling of being away. Kind of rustic elegant type places. Then after talking to my FMIL last night, she kind of put a damper on that worrying about people driving drunk the 45minute trip back to Dallas. So then I was talking to my FI and he suggested having bus shuttles back and forth, but that seems so frat party style to me. I don't know if I would want buses going to and from my wedding, you know?

                  I know that planning a wedding isn't easy. But I really just need a little pick me up right now.

                  Any suggestions?

                  My suggestion would be is to invite ONLY the 2o people that you want to invite. All of the other people can just attend the AHR in Dallas. My FI and I only want to invite parents and siblings. However, my mom has already told a bunch of people and told me I need to send them STD's. Well, I am not. We wanted a small group to allow for us to pay for excursions for everyone. If we have more then we can't. Plus, it's my 2nd marriage and I don't even want to invite anyone at all. But, it's my FI's first, so I can't get out of that.

                  Just do what you truly want to do. It is your day not anyone else's. Don't let them talk you into something you truly don't want. I feel you would regret it afterwards.

                  #19 Dez921714

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                    Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:14 PM

                    Do Not Change your DW Plans!

                    If a DW is what you have your heart set on, then do it!

                    We were origionally going to have a DW, but then because of family pressure and the fear that I'd truly miss something (grandma? limo? 4th Cousin Beth twice removed?) I decided to have an at home wedding. Booked our hall, had the vision...but then things happen...I lost my job. Stressed and needing the savings to live on instead of pay for a wedding, we went back to our DW idea - I am SOOO happy we did! We'll have an AHR when we get back (on a much smaller scale than a wedding, but basically, so grandma can see me in my dress).

                    Anyway, if you have your heart set on a DW, do it! It's YOUR day, not everyone elses.
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                    150 INVITES / 6 YES / 13 NO

                    #20 Hartyt509

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                      Posted 19 June 2008 - 03:26 PM

                      DO NOT GIVE IN lol

                      You want a DW you have a DW, sod everyone else its not about them. If your heart is set on it nothing else will do.

                      As for your family inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry tell them in no uncertain terms it isn't happening or it will spiral out of control! again they've had their wedding so they can piss off and leave yours alone lol

                      We invited over 30 people 3 have booked!! You will find when you are planning a wedding whether its at home or abroad people are full of shite! you get oh i'll be there I wouldn't miss it for the world!! its bollox, you'll fall out with friends but you know what - thats life and its their problem.

                      FI has already warned his mother that if she starts inviting her cronnies she's getting uninvited lol

                      Rant over lmao

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