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#8071 meghan

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    Posted 18 June 2010 - 10:20 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by amandamarieb
    That's amazing. Go you for keeping it under 10. We are at 17K and I still want to add on...need to pull back. That is for 60 to 70 ppl though. We have about 55 booked right now
    It has been hard to keep it that low (we have 45 people).....and in the beginning I thought it would be cheaper before I realized that nothing was included!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ~Nicole~
    Amy, it has come full circle for you!! Now you get to reassure all of these brides with me :)

    Ditto to what Amy said. I wasted so many tears on people that I honestly wish I hadn't... one of those being my mom as well. I had 7 people show for my wedding..... 2 of those were family members - one brother and my sister. And you know what, it turned out perfectly! The attendance numbers were definitely lower than we had expected, but I can tell you that I honestly don't care to this day about that!

    I'm not defending these insane people giving you a hard time, but I honestly think that they just don't "get it". And you know what, you don't need their approval. It will work out :) *HUGS*
    I think you are in the minority if you are having a destination wedding and no one complains or creates extra stress for you. I have a lot of really close family and friends coming, but I definitely had my share of stress with extended family members criticizing our decision. It got so bad at one point that my mom is still mad at my aunt for making a big deal about our choice (and that was a year and a half ago). Everyone is right when they say that it doesn't matter who goes. As long as you and your FI are there and happy, everything will be wonderful

    #8072 amybermuda

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      Posted 18 June 2010 - 10:21 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
      "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry."
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by beaz2be
      I totally feel you on this one. Lucky for us in a way, my fiance's family and mine live on opposite sides of the continent - so no matter what 1/2 the wedding has to get on a plane. This way it's "more fair" for everyone. hahaha

      Oh I hate that stage of planning!!!! I really really hated it!!!! But you get through it, so while you have to hear it (everyone has guests that say the rudest things - realziing it or not), know that it will soon be over.

      I was a tad on the ruder side to people ---- I said "Mark & I always wanted a small wedding and so having it in Mexico will allow us to have one. Otherwise if it was in Maryland everyone would come!" So, basically an IN YOUR FACE. hehehe

      I would suggest you get a good group of supporters - friends and family who are super excited and support the destination wedding - and lean on them. Have them act as a buffer towards the nasty family members and friends so you don't get the brunt of it. Keep them close to you throughout the process so they will keep you excited and remind you that you did make the right decision.

      As the wedding gets closer, I know myself & others also felt like people were not excited to go - they started worrying about leaving their kids for a week or traveling with the kids or leaving their work or going to Mexico or whatever else - and then we were bummed that it didn't seem like people were excited. Make sure you have 3 people you can call and and they will always say "I can't freaking wait for Mexico!!!!" They will be invaluable throughout this process w/ you!!!

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by amandamarieb
      are you worried about the oil crisis?
      First of all, besides our catamaran trip, I think I was in the ocean once the week in Mexico. So, worst case you stay in the pools. If that's the worst case, then no biggie at all!

      Secondly, the Gulf Stream does not flow down into Mexico. I suppose currents could change, but I am pretty sure its more likely to hit Cape Cod than it would Mexico & South America.

      My best response to that would be "Anything could happen, and yes I am concerned about it, but I cannot do anything about it. I don't want to focus on things I have no control over because the wedding stress levels would be out of control. So I am thinking positive thoughts and at worst case, we don't swim in the ocean and instead enjoy the pool bars all day!!"

      Remind people that their comments are making you stressed! I did that even when they did not and eventually most people

      lol - I love that guy too :)

      #8073 MaggieandJay

      MaggieandJay
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        Posted 18 June 2010 - 11:29 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
        Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.
        We're having about 50 people if the stragglers finally go ahead and book (hopefully no extra people decide to come).

        My big problem was the fact that everyone thought that we were setting them up to be killed by the gangs/drug cartels As if we would seriously want that on our conscience. Hey guys, come down to the slums of MX so we can all get shot up on foreign soil?! Doubt it!! I really believe that some people don't realize how insensitive they're being when they say some things.
        .
        I feel you pain on this one. Last week my Grandmother called me to annouce she will not be coming to our wedding due to a news story she saw where 6 people got their hearts cut out in Cancun. I googled it. It was a drug gang killing a rival drug gang. So I called my grandmother back and asked her if she had recently joined a Mexican Drug Cartel and if she did then she might be right and not want to come. AHHH I was really upset at the time but it makes me giggle now!
        Maggie and Jay GOT married on May 15th 2011 at Azul Sensatori. Best International Wedding EVER!

        #8074 gingerlover36

        gingerlover36
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          Posted 18 June 2010 - 11:48 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by MaggieandJay
          I feel your pain so much! The last 2 weeks I have cried so many times over being constantly told by my family that I need to be aware of the price for everyone and make it affordable. The weirdest part is that it is my FMIL that has been the most supportive. She is like you go and whoever comes is who somes. Sometimes I think in an attempt to make sure it's fabulous it is easy to get lost in everyone else's happiness. I have a little mantra now that I repeat over and over when I worry about how much people are paying or not paying. It's is about Jay and I and even if we are the only 2 there it will be the most WONDERFUL day ever.



          I feel you pain on this one. Last week my Grandmother called me to annouce she will not be coming to our wedding due to a news story she saw where 6 people got their hearts cut out in Cancun. I googled it. It was a drug gang killing a rival drug gang. So I called my grandmother back and asked her if she had recently joined a Mexican Drug Cartel and if she did then she might be right and not want to come. AHHH I was really upset at the time but it makes me giggle now!
          That is actually kind of funny. Yeah so everyone's been through it. I told my fam for a while this is the kind of wedding I wanted yet everyone was surprised and my grandfather told me I was making a big mistake. Needless to say when your 85 yr old grandpa takes your hand in his and all u want is for him t o say im happy for you and he says that...its not the most pleasant feeling to say the least. My aunt told me she had no money but just got back from Disney. It sucks but just keep reminding yourself its about you and FI..no one else. One of my aunts actually said she was happy I am sticking to my guns and having the wedding I want (she isn't coming and just said make sure u get a good photographer...so i can relive it with you when u get back)

          hugs...hang in there


          I am just taking comfort in the fact that I have been to 2 DW's before and you girls as well...everyone has said that they have no regrets. They will be the ones regretting their decision when they aren't in the pool sipping a corona.

          #8075 cjb0arder13

          cjb0arder13
          • Jr. Member
          • 310 posts

            Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:10 PM

            I just have to say...all of you girls are the absolute BEST! I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't found this forum. Probably be stressing ten times as much!!!

            I've been really, really lucky in that I haven't gotten a lot of the flack that everyone else seems to have gotten. My family is SUPER excited to go, and we talk several times a week about how much fun it's going to be. Of course, I've had the odd person say that it's really expensive and that they don't know how they're going to save up for it, but I honestly just try to brush that stuff off. I KNOW it's expensive. Just because they're invited doesn't mean they HAVE to come.

            The hardest part for me has been seeing FI sad when his friends make comments about it. To be perfectly honest, this whole destination wedding was my idea. FI is a very outgoing, gregarious guy, and he has a TON of friends that he's still in contact with. I'm more reserved and private...I tend to have a few very close friends rather than a ton of acquaintances. I just couldn't see walking down the aisle with 300 people staring at me, most of whom I barely knew. I knew I'd be too nervous and worried about that factor to actually enjoy marrying the man of my dreams.

            Fortunately, I'm the luckiest woman in the world, and Sean told me he'd marry me on the moon if I wanted to. He says that as long as I'm happy, he's happy, so he's really excited about our DW. I can tell that it breaks his heart, though, when one of his best friends tells him that he and his gf can't go because it's too expensive...even though they just bought a brand new $4,000 couch, $2,000 flat screen TV, and he buys himself whatever new toy he wants whenever he wants. Obviously it's not so much a money issue as a priority issue. That's what hurts me...to see him hurting. He'd never say anything, but I know it bugs him.

            #8076 beaz2be

            beaz2be
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              Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:26 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by dstinationdrmr
              I love the sign too but haven't had a reason to use it yet. I will say that you will DEFINITELY come out of this with at least one relationship changed forever. People's true colors tend to come out when you least expect it. Not everyone will be as happy about this situation as you are (that's something I had to come to terms with). Many people you thought wouldn't view being present for one of the most important days of your life as optional won't be in attendance. But at the same time, some people come out of the woodwork and surprise you. Take it all with a grain of salt, but definitely observe and listen and you will se who is truly happy for you.
              Thanks to ALL of you ladies who've helped support about this. Meredith, you hit it on the head for me with this comment. I sent out cards to the ladies I wanted to be my BMS (as none of them, aside from my sister and MOH live here). Probably my closest friend, the one who I'd think of as my MOH if I didn't have a sister and the one who is ALWAYS a rock and I never doubted, called and immediately said she pretty much doesn't think she'll make it. I was STUNNED. One of the other girls I expected this kind of news (I know money's tight etc.) but NOT this friend.
              Oh I hate that stage of planning!!!! I really really hated it!!!! But you get through it, so while you have to hear it (everyone has guests that say the rudest things - realziing it or not), know that it will soon be over.


              I would suggest you get a good group of supporters - friends and family who are super excited and support the destination wedding - and lean on them. Have them act as a buffer towards the nasty family members and friends so you don't get the brunt of it. Keep them close to you throughout the process so they will keep you excited and remind you that you did make the right decision.

              As the wedding gets closer, I know myself & others also felt like people were not excited to go - they started worrying about leaving their kids for a week or traveling with the kids or leaving their work or going to Mexico or whatever else - and then we were bummed that it didn't seem like people were excited. Make sure you have 3 people you can call and and they will always say "I can't freaking wait for Mexico!!!!" They will be invaluable throughout this process w/ you!!!



              First of all, besides our catamaran trip, I think I was in the ocean once the week in Mexico. So, worst case you stay in the pools. If that's the worst case, then no biggie at all!

              Secondly, the Gulf Stream does not flow down into Mexico. I suppose currents could change, but I am pretty sure its more likely to hit Cape Cod than it would Mexico & South America.

              My best response to that would be "Anything could happen, and yes I am concerned about it, but I cannot do anything about it. I don't want to focus on things I have no control over because the wedding stress levels would be out of control. So I am thinking positive thoughts and at worst case, we don't swim in the ocean and instead enjoy the pool bars all day!!"

              Remind people that their comments are making you stressed! I did that even when they did not and eventually most people
              I feel you pain on this one. Last week my Grandmother called me to annouce she will not be coming to our wedding due to a news story she saw where 6 people got their hearts cut out in Cancun. I googled it. It was a drug gang killing a rival drug gang. So I called my grandmother back and asked her if she had recently joined a Mexican Drug Cartel and if she did then she might be right and not want to come. AHHH I was really upset at the time but it makes me giggle now!
              Ok, I'm really sorry about your grandmother's comments. But I have to say, that kind of cracks me up. Totally something my Grandmother would argue with me about. She looooves to fight about stuff she hears on the news - gets it all confused and misses the main point (i.e. that it was a DRUG WAR. Between GANG MEMBERS) and decides it's something we should debate and discuss in depth.

              Sorry, just kind of awesome to picture you grandma telling you that some drug cartel might randomly raiding your wedding at the posh AI resort.... hahaha (inappropriate I know... just seems like something from an Al Pacino movie).


              Ok, I'm going to now. (yay! I used him)

              #8077 taylorwd

              taylorwd
              • Member
              • 932 posts

                Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:41 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by cjb0arder13
                Thank you Wendy!! Honestly...NOBODY has booked yet, other than my immediate family (four rooms). FI's parents haven't even booked yet. Somehow, my TA reserved 10 rooms (not sure how, since we only have deposits for 5 rooms!) but I really want as many people to stay with us as possible. The bigger concern for me is the construction. I just really don't want to be walking under ladders and hearing band saws buzzing away when I'm trying to get my beauty sleep (aka...sleep off my hangover hehe) so that may be the dealbreaker for me.

                No matter what, I know it's going to be a fantastic trip, so I'm not getting down about this. AB is absolutely beautiful and sounds like a wonderful place...but if it's not meant to be, something else is!
                I love your positive attitude! You're absolutely right, it will all be perfect and wonderful no matter which resort you're at.

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by dstinationdrmr
                My BM's are wearing vintage bronze and my MOH's are wearing purple. We decided to use lime accents for the bouquets and our moms/aunts will be wearing a praline color. I know this can be confusing so these are the dresses...Bridesmaid Dresses - the source for bridesmaid dresses fashion at Mori Lee Style 266
                Oooooh very elegant dresses!! Love your colors!!

                #8078 taylorwd

                taylorwd
                • Member
                • 932 posts

                  Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:55 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by bigboponthebeach
                  Afternoon my "forum friends!" ;-) I was just popping in to vent and whine for a tad. We sent our STD's out on Monday and we've officially got the buzz going for our wedding. I'm amazed at how many family members have been so critical. Mature adults (or so I thought) have made every comment ranging from "Those rooms are too small' to "Why isn't flight included in the rate" to "Kinda selfish to make everyone fly just to see you marry." I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'm usually not, and I know from reading all the earlier posts that many of you ladies were met with similar negativity. But I'm trying to be a gracious and polite bride and instead I feel like telling people to Shut the F**K up and just stay home if they feel burdened. I'm so tired of responding to people, "Well I'm sorry but just know that we are NOT offended if you cannot make it and we totally understand." I feel like people don't realize that this is an optional attendance and no gun is being placed to their head for them to fly to beautiful Mexico to attend our wedding.
                  On your wedding day, I promise you, you won't be thinking about who wasn't there, or who thought you should have done it differently or who didn't approve of blah blah blah... I promise you that the feeling you will have on your wedding day is solely focused on your then husband and this blissful floating feeling. Wendy knows! I can tell she felt the same way :)

                  It's an unbelieve experience... ahhhh I'm so jealous mine is over!
                  Amy is absolutely right!! It's hard to imagine this now since you're in the throws of planning and have incoming negativity, but on your wedding day NONE of this will matter. I promise you! You'll realize that the people who are there to share it with you are the ones who needed to be there and wanted to be there. Having a DW really does show people's true colors, shockingly so sometimes.

                  During our planning DH's family could not stop talking about what a financial hardship coming to our wedding was. I wanted to scream "SO DON'T COME!" In fact, they still talk about "financial recovery" from it. But I'm waaaaaaay beyond caring about statements like this. People can make their own choices and need to take responsibility for them. They also need to realize that this is a WEDDING, i.e. not about them but about YOU!

                  Just to throw in some brevity here: one of DHs good friends from way back (more like a sister to him) just called yesterday to say she won't be coming to our AHR--because she's not comfortable in a bathing suit!!! Okay, now hear me out. I know a lot of us women have body image issues (though she has no reason to, she's maybe a size 6 and tall), but the reason this makes me at the stupidity of the situation is because of how mad she was that she wasn't "chosen" to go to Mexico. She actually hung up the phone on DH when she found out she couldn't come to the wedding. To a wedding in Mexico. At a resort. On the beach. Where bathing suits are pretty much mandatory.

                  #8079 MaggieandJay

                  MaggieandJay
                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,029 posts

                    Posted 18 June 2010 - 01:01 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by beaz2be
                    Thanks to ALL of you ladies who've helped support about this. Meredith, you hit it on the head for me with this comment. I sent out cards to the ladies I wanted to be my BMS (as none of them, aside from my sister and MOH live here). Probably my closest friend, the one who I'd think of as my MOH if I didn't have a sister and the one who is ALWAYS a rock and I never doubted, called and immediately said she pretty much doesn't think she'll make it. I was STUNNED. One of the other girls I expected this kind of news (I know money's tight etc.) but NOT this friend. The worst part is that I think she's just making a snap decision and not really even considering it. She IS 8 months pregnant right now and I think she's just being hormonal a bit and is unsure of the future in store etc. But the wedding's like a YEAR from now!! (And I'm about 98% sure that the financial element for her is not that much of an issue).... sigh. I'm just bummed because I know marriage is kind of unimportant to her so I don't think she really considers it a big deal to be there or not. It is a big deal to ME, but I don't feel right to pressure her on it.

                    Basically, I just asked her to sit on it and think about it for a bit and that if she wasn't able to come I totally understood...blah blah...

                    anyways, thanks again ladies. Knowing that some of you have gone through this with parents and other very close family members helps to put it in perspective. It helps us who are going through it to keep our chins up I think.



                    The supporters idea is BRILLIANT - I'm totally going to do that. I LOVE the friends who are all stoked about it and say things like "we always knew you guys would have an amazing/unique etc. wedding" they make me so happy that we've decided to to DW. I'm totally going to remember to rely on them and call them when I'm stressed. Thanks AmyB GREAT IDEA


                    Also, I thought the same thing about the oil, that the Gulf stream flows in the other direction. Not to say it may not affect because I'm a firm believer that this disaster is going to affect the ocean life of our entire planet (not to mention life on land as a result of the ecosystem damage and the whole "butterfly affect" of it all. But, what can you do right? I figure that if we're in the pools only, then so be it. It's not like anywhere else in North America is "SAFE" from the impact of this disaster.




                    Ok, I'm really sorry about your grandmother's comments. But I have to say, that kind of cracks me up. Totally something my Grandmother would argue with me about. She looooves to fight about stuff she hears on the news - gets it all confused and misses the main point (i.e. that it was a DRUG WAR. Between GANG MEMBERS) and decides it's something we should debate and discuss in depth.

                    Sorry, just kind of awesome to picture you grandma telling you that some drug cartel might randomly raiding your wedding at the posh AI resort.... hahaha (inappropriate I know... just seems like something from an Al Pacino movie).


                    Ok, I'm going to now. (yay! I used him)
                    It's all good! When I told that story to my bestie she laughed so hard she cried! I now giggle thinking about it!
                    Maggie and Jay GOT married on May 15th 2011 at Azul Sensatori. Best International Wedding EVER!

                    #8080 amybermuda

                    amybermuda
                    • Member
                    • 870 posts

                      Posted 18 June 2010 - 01:09 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by taylorwd
                      Just to throw in some brevity here: one of DHs good friends from way back (more like a sister to him) just called yesterday to say she won't be coming to our AHR--because she's not comfortable in a bathing suit!!! Okay, now hear me out. I know a lot of us women have body image issues (though she has no reason to, she's maybe a size 6 and tall), but the reason this makes me at the stupidity of the situation is because of how mad she was that she wasn't "chosen" to go to Mexico. She actually hung up the phone on DH when she found out she couldn't come to the wedding. To a wedding in Mexico. At a resort. On the beach. Where bathing suits are pretty much mandatory.
                      I love this story Wendy. It shows how people complain to complain and put their 2 cents in where it is not needed or expected or appropriate.




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