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#4041 thefuturemrslutz

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    Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:32 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Katie_2010
    thanks Nicole. I don't really know what I'm feeling at the moment - a bit of everything and nothing all at the same time.

    tbh things have been strained between us since I booked the wedding but that's all been due to me feeling that she's not been making any effort. We have spoken about it before but she's always said it's been her and she's sorry etc etc. she didn't make me going to try on wedding dresses, and she didn't make it round to my house to try on her BM dress and shoes. so many annoying things but I never thought she'd do this. I know she's busy (she has her own kids) and I just thought when we got there she'd get into it then without all her 'life' distractions.

    but as much as everyone else seems to be focusing on the wedding-side of things, I'm more bothered and upset by what this means for our friendship.
    SO sorry Katie! I know how you feel. My best friend/maid of honor told me she could not travel anywhere I was having my wedding because of money. And now she has completed drifted away...I think because she is embarrassed and doesn't know how to ask about wedding plans, etc. I wish I had some advice for you. Maybe approach it as you would like to patch things up with her, even if she does not make it to the wedding. Like Nicole said, weddings make people do some crazy things!!!! Do NOT worry about that budget sheet. Whenever you get a chance is fine. We are here for you!!

    #4042 KittenHeart

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      Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:34 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Katie_2010
      Amy, didn't get round to post yesterday evening, but wanted to send big hugs for yesterday. I hope your 'positive approach' worked and you were ok.

      Thanks Katie! It actually was by far the best year yet, I have lovely friends (you included) and my new outlook was by far the best idea I've had on the subject yet.

      The whole wedding planning year has been tough knowing I'll have no parents at my wedding but I'm kind of accepting that it is what it is and I don't need anyone there accept FI. :)

      #4043 thefuturemrslutz

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        Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:35 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by AshManahan
        Hi ladies. Its been a few weeks, but I am finally getting around to loading some of our wedding photos from Hacienda Tres Rios. It was Amazing!!!

        I hope everything is going well for you. What a relief to be done. I feel like I need a two week vacation to get back to normal, but am trying to figure out who I can hire to put up the xmas tree instead :)

        Snapfish: Share:Registration
        Your pictures are gorgeous!!! Thanks for sharing!

        #4044 thefuturemrslutz

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          Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:40 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Katie_2010
          that's when I'm doing mine too....though I still think I'm mad! The morning after the wedding I'm going to be knackered!! funnily enough, it was when our photographer actually suggested doing it as well.
          I want to do mine at sunrise too! I am not sure how this is going to work though, because we are planning to go out as a group after the wedding. I definitely need that 2 day makeup.

          #4045 thefuturemrslutz

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            Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:44 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by KittenHeart
            Thanks Katie! It actually was by far the best year yet, I have lovely friends (you included) and my new outlook was by far the best idea I've had on the subject yet.

            The whole wedding planning year has been tough knowing I'll have no parents at my wedding but I'm kind of accepting that it is what it is and I don't need anyone there accept FI. :)
            I'm so glad you had a good day! I got chills when I read your post. Your positivity was awesome, and it looks like you helped a ton of your friends stay positive too. Sorry about your parents, but you are right about having your FI there. In the end, that's all that will matter. And your dad will definitely be there in spirit. :)

            #4046 ~Nicole~

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              Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:46 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by KittenHeart
              Thanks Katie! It actually was by far the best year yet, I have lovely friends (you included) and my new outlook was by far the best idea I've had on the subject yet.

              The whole wedding planning year has been tough knowing I'll have no parents at my wedding but I'm kind of accepting that it is what it is and I don't need anyone there accept FI. :)
              I must have missed something here.... what's going on?

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by thefuturemrslutz
              I want to do mine at sunrise too! I am not sure how this is going to work though, because we are planning to go out as a group after the wedding. I definitely need that 2 day makeup.
              OMG I'm so pathetic. My TTD wasn't until like the noon the next day and I had such a hard time getting ready on time lol. And I didn't even wear any make up lol... yep I'm a loser hahaha.
              *Formerly Nikki07*
              My Planning Thread

              #4047 KittenHeart

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                Posted 08 December 2009 - 12:46 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Katie_2010
                sorry lindz, I haven't done this yet - I got a TEXT from my 'best friend/chief bridesmaid' telling me she's not coming Mexico or being my bridesmaid, that she thinks we've drifted apart bla bla bla, so I wasn't too great last night. feel like I've been dumped

                I'll do it tonight for you tho. x

                Wow, this is terribly rude of her! A text? Come on... to be honest I'd try and be the bigger person first and if that doesn't work, then find someone to replace her. Let her know that just because she can't take responsibility to ensure she makes herself a part of your wedding, she won't do any damage by not attending, it's not at all about her.

                This is the thing, when my BF was getting married she never asked me to do anything, she just did her thing and I had to jump in there and find out what I could do or what she needed help with and I had to demand to be there with her for her wedding dress shopping or else she would have done everything alone. Now being the bride I just noticed that she is doing the same to me, I'm doing everything on my own (even tried going dress shopping alone, my bridesmaids put their foot down and wouldn't stand for it) then later I went alone and found the dress I bought.

                Moral of the story, she may not even understand that she needs to be active in this, she maybe jealous or just may just be going through something and want attention, who knows!

                One of my bridesmaids called me and left me a voicemail over the summer hysterically crying late at night saying she couldn't come to my wedding and she had the worst day at work. It may not have been the right call but I knew calling her back at that moment would have resulted in a bad, dramatic conversation. So I sent her a lovely email the next morning, telling her that if she couldn't make it due to her job situation I understood and let's get coffee and talk about the problems going on at her job.

                She's coming now, it turned out she had a bad day at work... so like the girls said, wedding's make people crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.

                So good luck girl, I totally rambled, my bad!



                #4048 ~Katie~

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                  Posted 08 December 2009 - 01:20 PM

                  ok, I feel I need to give the whole story here, since you're all being so damn lovely and supportive :) so here it is...laying my life, heart and sole on the internet! please bear in mind that we've been each others bestest friend for the past 14 years...and in the last 8 months she's got herself a new boyf who's she's totally obsessed with.

                  this was her TEXT to me:
                  "I'm so sorry but I don't think I can come to Mexico, I know we have drifted apart and I know I should have made more effort with you but the reason I haven't is because I don't feel I should go. Its so much money for me and I don't want anyone else to pay, also leaving my kids for 2 weeks! i love the idea of it but the reality is totally different, i felt like i had to say yes when you asked me. Then me and Peter [her boyf] made the effort for your bday but u didnt bother with his which u knew about for ages, dropping me for Ange and Laurel [my other close friends and BM]. and dylans bday yesterday, u didn't even text and that hurt, that's my son, u might have had the hump with me but he's a child. im sorry but i just don't feel right going. i should have told you before but it's took me a long time to work out what i should do"

                  now reading that back again it doesn't seem so bad!! lol but it hurt, and this was my reply....

                  "Firstly I can't believe that after 14 years of friendship, you don't think I deserve the respect to be told something as huge as that face to face, or at the very least on the phone. You say something so destructive like that on a text, and when u knew I'd be at work.

                  Secondly, we called everyone who we'd want to be at the wedding before we even started looking into it to see if it was an option for people - u knew Angie had said no because of the kids and money. I'm hurt that u felt u couldnt have done the same and that u felt u had to say yes - I'd never have held that against u and u know it. If the problem was money or not seeing the kids u could have come for a week if that was better. If that wasn't an option either you should have said a long time ago - especially before we started buying things for you like dresses and shoes. You let us waste valuable money that we now cant get back when the whole time you stil weren't sure if you were even going to come.

                  Yes we've drifted apart but I'm sorry, I'm not takin responsibility for that - how much effort have I made to stay in contact with you?? Ringing u, texting u, trying to come round and see you? You are the sole reason we have. No I don't want to go out clubbing with u and peter but neither would u come out in Essex and stay with me and chris without peter. I never thought that's what our friendship was based on. What else could I have done??

                  No we didn't come to peters but I had double booked. And im sorry but my close friends come before peter. If it was your birthday it would have been a different story, you know that. Same way again if it had been something for chris's birthday I'm sure u both wouldn't have come if you'd remembered ud planned to do something with louise. Plus you already had all your mates going as well so I didn't really feel I was needed but that was just an aside, not the reason we didn't come.

                  No I didn't text u yesterday but I thought of Dylan all day, I just didn't feel I could text after u let me down last week and I didn't hear anything from u since then. No effort to mend what you broke, even after your texts that Saturday. And I wasn't even invited to his birthday celebrations!!!

                  But I cannot believe it's taken u 6 months to say this. I have had conversation after conversation with u on how I feel it's always me makin the effort and then u turn round and say you've felt like that from the start All those opportunities I gave you, even up until last Saturday and I even asked u outright if u still wanted to be a part of it and even then u said yes and u love me and I mean the world to u and all that and like a mug I believed u. So what's changed in a week? Or were u lying? And does that mean all those times u couldn't make it were lies too? - You've said with all this on ur mind u haven't made the effort u should.

                  I am so hurt and upset you have done and could have done this to me, I couldn't even begin to explain it to you. I have always been there for you, through everything, whenever you needed me and now you do this. Now I have to tell people the person who means most to me in the world has just decided she doesn't want to be my bridesmaid anymore and isn't interested. I am totally heartbroken and apart from answering ur text, speechless."

                  If she'd just been saying she was sorry but she couldn't come to Mexico, yeah I'd have been ticked off, but I would have understood. this text from her seems to be about our whole friendship as well.....I don't know, maybe that message I sent back makes me look like a bitch, but I've been there for her no matter what for 14 years (and she's been through a lot) in whatever way I needed to be, and then this.

                  #4049 ~Katie~

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                    Posted 08 December 2009 - 01:24 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by thefuturemrslutz
                    SO sorry Katie! I know how you feel. My best friend/maid of honor told me she could not travel anywhere I was having my wedding because of money. And now she has completed drifted away...I think because she is embarrassed and doesn't know how to ask about wedding plans, etc. I wish I had some advice for you. Maybe approach it as you would like to patch things up with her, even if she does not make it to the wedding. Like Nicole said, weddings make people do some crazy things!!!! Do NOT worry about that budget sheet. Whenever you get a chance is fine. We are here for you!!

                    that's the problem - I don't even know what her text really means! I cant work out if she's saying she's just not coming Mexico, or we're not friends anymore or what. HELP!!!

                    #4050 ~Katie~

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                      Posted 08 December 2009 - 01:25 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by ~Nicole~
                      Awwww Katie...... I always say, especially after my own experience, weddings make people crazy... seriously. I felt like so many close friends and family would do things completely out of character. Maybe you both just need some time to think about things. I hope it all works out, but in the meantime you have us :)
                      thank you

                      it's definitely been making people crazy!!






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